So after thinking about all the ways people usually tell if someone is gay or not, I realized a lot of it does rely a lot on how someone dresses. Obviously, I don't think anyone should dress differently from how they want to dress just so they can "look" gay, but I would like to do experiment and change up my style. So what are some things I could do about how I dress or what things could I try to wear that would make me seem more gay? I am looking for any ideas and suggestions. For reference, I have brown hair cut into a shoulder lengthish bob with some layers, brown eyes, and I wear glasses. I do have a female looking body, but I am not curvy.
Just in general or for a specific event? In general probably tight pants or shirts, cutoff shirts, short shorts, billowy shirts, sparkly shirts. Is this what you mean?
Doesn't this describe like, all girls our age though? I don't really see how any of that looks gay on a girl. Nearly every girl I see dresses that way on a daily basis in my area.
I am not really sure honestly what I mean. I'm a girl who just wants to be noticed and appealing to other gay or bi girls? I just don't want everyone to think I am straight.
Exactly. I don't know. I guess maybe I should have said I want to look more like a lesbian, even though I am not, I'm bi. But I want to look more like a lesbian because bi girls look so much like straight girls and I don't think they can tell the difference.
Invest in a double venus necklace(on etsy) and/or rainbow pin/t-shirt/shoes I'm having the same issue. I'm thinking of a rainbow shirt/double venus necklace for now. I'm fairly femme so there's not much I can do. I don't want to change up my style. Buy clothes from the "men's" section maybe? More baggy clothes. Or a leather jacket and a beanie. But here's something I've noticed. If all else fails, when you see a cute girl, try to make eye contact with her. Then hold that eye contact a bit longer than normal and smile. If she smiles back and doesn't look away, chances are she might be into you. I experienced this very recently (two days ago) I was just out for a powerwalk in my small town where I live and this girl walks past me. She looks me up and down, looks me dead in the eye and smiles until I've passed her. As a femme, this rarely ever happens to me. Funny thing is, we walked past each other again 15 minutes later. She was walking her dog. This girl was also pretty femme but looked more like a skater girl. (Vans, Denim jacket, platinum blonde shoulder-length hair) The second time she stared at me from afar. I looked down when I noticed but when I looked up she was still staring and smiling so I smiled back. Oh boy, we held eye contact for so long. Several seconds to a point where it was just a matter of who would walk up to the other. But unfortunately I didn't take that chance. Sorry for the tangent but my point is, for someone who is femme like me, prolonged eye contact is a tell-tale sign that someone is interested in me, and a good way to show the girl I'm interested in them.
No problem. I thought that might have been the problem. I am sure all your suggestions would look very gay on a man but on a girl I would just look extra feminine and I am not sure if that would make me look gayer. I maybe should have used the word lesbian instead.
I really like this! This is a super cute story by the way. I hope you guys run into each other again. She sounds pretty awesome.
I can't wait to test this out. What if the girl is not gay though? Would she be weirded out? I don't want to scare her.
Here's the thing, if she looks away and seems uninterested just move on with your life. Eye contact is not creepy so long as you respect her in case she's not interested. I've tried this with other girls and looked straight at them, some don't even look back and if they do for a brief moment but then ignore me that sends a strong message. Also, don't look at her like she's a piece of meat, but I didn't think you'd do that anyway. And look down for a while and then look up again, don't stare without blinking haha. The smile makes the stare more non-threatening. Always smile in a polite, warm way. The girl who did it to me clearly didn't fear coming off as creepy. She had no idea what my sexuality was but she still put herself out there. Say I was straight and the same girl looked at me like that. If I was a straight woman I wouldn't look back at her or even pay attention anyway. So I wouldn't get scared. But my situation is different since we passed each other quickly. If you're in a situation where she is a barista or sitting at a bench a few feet away then don't worry about it either. You're allowed to look at people, looking in itself isn't predatory. What is predatory is following her around or being a general creep. All in all, don't go overboard with it haha. But take your chances when you get them if that makes sense?
I’ll be honest. Even if I was out I wouldn’t change anything. I’m comfortable the way I am. Aside from my sexual preferences it’s notvreally an act when I act straight. It’s the way I live. I’m a masculine guy who’s into old school country and metal. Anything different would likely look ludicrous on me. Like I was wearing a costume
Right. And I absolutely agree nobody should feel like they have to dress or be a certain way because of their sexual orientation. The thing is I don't really have a style that seems to suit me, I don't really know what I want to look like, or some days I want to look different than on others. The other thing I am worried about is I am afraid I won't be able to attract women dressed the way I am. I don't wear overly girly or overly masculine clothes, I kinda of just get dressed in whatever, and It seems like a lot of lesbians have a style of some sort. It also seems that some girls are attracted to more masculine looking women, including me, and I am afraid that I don't look femme or masculine, because I don't consider myself femme either even though I wear typical girl clothes.
Don’t misunderstand I don’t have any problem with people dressing however they like. It is important to find what works for you. I’m too old and set in my ways at this point to make any drastic changes. I wish you luck
Great question, @Love4Ever ! I was wondering the same thing. Even bigger question: How can I "look lesbian" when I go to a uniform school? Seems like there's not much to go on but short nails and gazes...