Had my first appointment with the gender therapist today. He was extremely helpful and understanding, and said he'd write me the letter I need to start T. Tomorrow I'll be getting my blood work done, and then I'll only have to wait a bit longer for everything to be processed before it's happening.
I sat and looked at dresses and heels with my roommate for the better part of the afternoon. Felt super duper awesome to get ideas and bounce some off of her in an effort to help her pick stuff out. Really made me feel like a women, even if it was only for a short time
I tried to ask a friend not to use chosen pronouns/endings in public because I'm not out, but they slip out from his mouth, so... I surrended.
My binder arrived and it fits It is definitely better than my sports bras at making my chest flatter and seems easy enough to get on and off so pretty happy! Think I need to go shopping for some shirts/tops to wear over it now though...
Today marks 7 months on HRT! It’s so crazy because I really didn’t think I looked that different until I saw some old photos of myself from last year. Idk it feels really nice
I bought my first shirt from the Men’s section of the store! My mom didn’t find anything strange about it, since “girls are allowed to wear boys’ clothes,” so I’m grateful for that. I love it so much and it makes me a lot happier!
i am going to the vigil for the Trans Day of Remembrance tonight at the University. it's the first time i've had the courage to go, even though im not out generally.
so i went to the vigil, a couple of my friends spoke, and a trans author, a couple of videos, and an activity where we discussed things that are challenges for trans people to getting out in shared spaces. it was very powerful, very emotional i cried at the sheer feelings i was getting, honestly i think im loosing it when that happens but i know and im told that its normal and healthy. but im so glad i went,
A coworker told me I smelled good today (not as creepy as it sounds, she was super chill and complimentary about it). I thank you, Old Spice.
so, ive been asking my mom for my original birth certificate for a while, she finally found it today. i went up to get it, no questions as to why i would want it after all these years. and while i was chatting with dad, i mentioned how bad the highway was yesterday after work going to the city. he asked if i was bringing my son back to Uni, i looked at him and said no, i went to the Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil, he asked what that was, i told him what it is about he just listened, and i told him that my friends spoke and we discussed the challenges of people like me..... he didnt say any thing just listened. i think thats a victory? maybe he just didnt hear me, his hearing isnt good.
At my school our band played for McDonald's reopening and we got free McDonald's and Ronald was there and he referred to me as he
I basically ran a half marathon yesterday and it didn't even feel like I ran enough. I didn't know I could do that. I was returning home from my normal route and some men laughed at me and said stupid things when I ran past them. I got so mad. I know I am a little guy. I know that. I know I look girly. I own a mirror. I know what I look like. My mind went on some odd mode. It was like "F you! I can do stuff you can only dream about. My little body can do awesome things! I can do so something you can't!" I just kept running. Because I am unstable like that. I started running again just two weeks ago and I have been taking it very easy. I had a long break because I broke things and I haven't run much while on HRT. It's been two years. I really didn't know that I could keep running like this. I got so angry I had to force myself to stop. I felt like I could just keep running like Forrest Gump. I felt good afterwards though. I still feel better than I have felt for a long time. Now I think I have a new hobby. I feel so great. My thighs hurt a bit but otherwise I am fine. I want ro run an official half marathon now. There is one in my city next year. I think I am going to join. Now it doesn't even feel like a challenge. I want to run a full marathon too some day. Thank you, haters! I discovered something new and awesome about myself. I feel good. Since that great run I have been really happy. I am lucky to be able to do stuff like this without basically any training. My body is great! I have hated everything about it for too long. I should appreciate it more. It's not cis but there is much more about it too. Now I just wonder what else I could maybe do. I feel like I want to test my limits. I don't know where they are and testosterone had really pushed them much further. I want to know and then push them further myself. I just feel very eager to run like that again but I have to wait for my body to heal a bit. It's not used to this. Maybe I will do that again next week and run just a bit before that. I don't want to break myself again. Luckily my old injuries didn't get upset.
Harjus- I use to run 20 miles a day, 4 days a week. I can understand the feeling one gets from running. Enjoyed it. Now I do some distance walking. Not the same as distance running, but I keep physically moving. Enjoy your runs. Don't pay attention to those who laugh or put a person down for being their own true self. Have fun and keep running.
I wish I could run like that too. I wish I could just run all the time but human body isn't made for that I guess. I am worried about upsetting some old injuries. It is great anyway. I walked a lot while I couldn't run and if I can walk somewhere in an hour or two I walk there and back and basically never take a bus or anything. Some think it's crazy. I can walk endlessly if I am not carrying much. I can walk through the day. I feel like I go crazy if I can't walk. Or run now that I got a taste of it again. It's just good to move in some way. It's good for the mind. It's just great. I am told that even the big men get laughed at especially if they wear those tight running pants. I wish I had the courage... I have heard they are good. I can't help noticing idiots but they gave me energy to go on. That energy was anger but at the end I felt like I was the winner in that situation. I usually never feel like a winner but then I did. And at the end I think I wouldn't know that I can run that far without them. I think I will remember that one run and those idiots forever. Great people have no reason to mock others anyway. People who laugh at others who are themselves are cowards. I would never switch places with them. Other people might respect them more on short term but true success isn't superficial.
Wtf Harjus, you re-started running only few weeks ago and can already run the equivalent of a half-marathon. Wow. That's crazy. Same here. No, you won't. They don't deserve to be remembered, anyway. Their memory will become tiny like a group of ants. I know it because that happened with my bad memories too. When put in perspective, you remember the happy things.