When i was in middle school, early middle school. So like 11 or 12. It was the clearest in PE. Not so much the locker room, as i was too busy being embarrassed about changing in front of other people to even notice the other girls. But my clearest memory of checking out a girl and being embarrassed at my own behavior dates back to that age and class. I remember where i was sitting, how i felt, how i immediately averted my eyes in shame and hoped she didn't notice.
As far back as my early teens, if not earlier, I would judge boys and guys by how good looking they were. I also might have had a crush on my next door neighbor. In hindsight, he was pretty cute. He was a year or two younger than me, and when we would hang out and play, I loved to roughhouse with him. Of course, I also knowingly, and quite publicly, had a crush on his older sister, especially once she started hitting puberty.
When I was c.10, I had a crush on a girl in the year below me and I recall telling my friends in passing that I thought she was “cute”. Unfortunately I learnt that day that it wasn’t ok to call another girl cute... I also remember really liking Milla Jovovich in the film the 5th Element, but I only figured it all when I was 16 though. It was a full on eureka kinda moment for me!
When I was around 10 I tried to look like one of my male class-mates (we did look like siblings anyways in some way...) but I don't remember any crushes.
I remember as a kid, I was with a bunch of guys and even though they knew I was female, they started calling me "he" and "him" because I was one of them. Thinking back on it made me realise I'm a boy and not just a masculine girl. I think my first crush was a news presenter, lol.
In retrospect, remembering my five year old self very clearly saying "I want to be a boy". Still took me until I was 24 to figure it out.
This for me too! In kindergarten, there was a guy with a crush on me that always wanted to play house as like mom and dad, but I always wanted to be the big brother instead. They always told me I couldn't be a boy because I was a girl, and I think I only ended up playing 2 or 3 times before we all gave up.
I guess always wanting to be the guy protagonist in shows like 'Avatar the last airbender' and 'Ben 10'. I was so obsessed with those shows it wasn't even normal
Oldest memory? 5th grade teacher. I would just sit and stare at him. He was just sooo handsome and fresh out of college. Sophisticated, nice, dressed sharp and overall great guy. But I was straight, and didn't understand.
I had a crush on Chip n' Dale in drag too! But I think I wasn't even 5 yet - maybe even younger, around 2-4 years old! I also had sexual crushes on Ariel, the Little Mermaid, and Mary Poppins as portrayed by Julie Andrews.
I remember liking/wanting to be friends with boys in grade school that I thought were cute, I think even one in kindergarten, but I knew him from church so maybe it was just a familiar face I was glad to see in my class. I liked a bunch of boy characters on TV shows and movies. I didn't know what it meant, even in 6th grade with what I consider my first crush on a guy and I was mesmerized by him all the way through high school.
For stereotypical thing I would say dancing to Believe - Cher for my whole family when I was 4. For actually being attracted to boys I didn't show signs of that will like 10. I really liked to look at dudes bodies in tv shows. I didn't really notice it like that though.
Nothing very specific. I recall finding male butts to be utterly fascinating. So if I went to a museum with naked statues, or saw an album cover with a naked guy's butt on it, I'd be transfixed. The only specific example I can remember is this music video from 1984. It's not an entirely naked butt, and it's not exactly shown up close, but I was transfixed any time this video came on MTV. [youtube]XLYqTZKEpvs[/youtube] Lex
When I was in primary school I was bullied for "being a boy". I didn't quite understand it at the time, but looking back it was clear that I didn't act like a girl. Now I can only thank the bullies for enlightening me before even I knew.
I think I may have shared this story on the forum already but I am not sure. Therefore, I will share it again. The time that stood out for me was when I had started going to a gay dance club with my female straight cousin. The both of us loved to dance and she introduced me to dance and house music which was a sound that I was not familiar with at all. The times that we visited the club, she would always bring a couple of her female friends along and during this time...I would dance only with her and her friends. Nonetheless, I was a challenge to a lot of gay guys who frequent the club. This one guy in particular was really hot and very popular. This guy made it very well known that he had a crush on me and would do anything to have sex with me. When he would see me on the dance floor with women...he would just stop and stare as if he was in a daze. However, this one night, the DJ had slowed things down by playing some slow jams. My cousin's friend had asked me to dance with her. The floor was really packed. In fact, so packed that there was no way that your hands did not touch anyone dancing in near vicinity. This guy was dancing with his lesbian friend and he was standing right behind me. When he went to spin his partner around, his butt rammed up against my hand which was placed around my partner's waist. He immediately turned his head in my direction and winked at me. Then he immediately turned his whole body in my direction which meant that my hand fell right on his crotch. He then closed his eyes and threw his head back as if he was in pure ecstasy. He then started grinding his crotch up against my hand because he knew I would not have been able to move it immediately. However, the more he grind his crotch into my hand and began to get erect, the more I began to become intrigued with what was taken place. In order to keep my partner occupied ...I began kissing her on her neck and nibbling on her earlobe which was really turning her on so much that she had no clue what was happening between me and this guy. This guy took my hand and started motioning it up and down through his pants on his erect penis which I did gladly since I saw how much it was turning him on. This began to get pretty intense with him to the degree that he was ready to ejaculate. All of a sudden...he gave out a loud moan and he ejaculated all over his pants right there on the dance floor. His partner looked over at me with a wicked smile on her face while she grabbed this guy to keep him composed because after he ejaculated ...he looked as if he was about to fall down. Once composed, the last song was ending and he looked back at me and winked as he zipped his pants. I did give him a devilish grin and this is when I come to realize that I was not in denial anymore about being a gay man. My partner to this day still had no clue that this was happening while her and I were slow dancing.
Dang, dude! I mean, that both sounds kinda fun and really weird, cause that guy was clearly a perv just putting you in a position where you had to touch his crotch. And how in the heck did he ejaculate from someone rubbing the outside of his pants. He must not last in bed a very long time. lol But that was a very crazy and interesting story, I gotta say.
I was 19 and angry with low self esteem when it came to my body. I told myself that female bodies are beautiful and then I was like, wait a sec...and then I knew I was probably gay.
I don't know how old I was, but for whatever reason, my friend was talking about gay people. He was the only one that understood what gay meant. When he told us, everyone said something along the lines of "gross" while I said nothing, but thought 'I don't get it, what's so bad about that?" That's the best I got