I screwed up. The site's been lagging really badly for me recently; I got impatient and clicked the damn "submit" button too many times. I fixed it. The other five are gone. I was hoping to have them gone before anyone else noticed. So no, you're not crazy, and it's not just your internet. I'm just a bonehead.
Doing some novel critiques for people since work's pretty slow. Rocky's settling in nicely into his new home. And finally got new male ID. So all in all, not a bad day.
I'm performing tonight, and am a little more nervous than last month (my first performance) because I haven't quite nailed down the songs.
Someone told me I look like I came straight (HA) out of a 50s flick. I took it as a compliment, but really I have no idea what she was talking about, since the 80s is as far back as I've gone in terms of movies. I hope that comparison was good? I'm losing weight again. Bad. I was supposed to have a test, but my teacher decided to pass me without taking it, for some reason or another. Good. One of my dogs died today. Devastating. I'm numb. Yay?
I hate being asked by teachers constantly about what it's like to be the only girl in the class. I mean is it relevant? I know they're just looking out for my well-being but it just feels kind of alienating, and whenever there's another girl in the class then they usually come up to me like "yay girl power" and what not. It's just plain awkward. Especially when this teacher came up to me and suggested that I only join the course to try and flirt with the guys as a joke, man she couldn't be more wrong.
19 years old on Sunday and I have 0% experience with relationships of all kinds. I'm feeling a little held back and left out.
I'll be flying out to see my girlfriend (for the first time) Christmas morning. I haven't been on plane since I was 7, so I'm pretty nervous. I'll be flying from Alabama to Washington, and have 2 layovers.
I woke up looking like death warmed over today ;.; But, that's okay because it's Friday and by this time next week, Kaiser will be back <3
I really want to go down the road and get snacks. But I also don't want to get out of bed, and I also want to be healthy. But I am so. hungry.
Doctor says 'ay, work on your posture and try to sit up straight. You're a little longer in the torso than most your age,' and I'm sitting here like 'you want to buy me a binder? Or pay for surgery? Nah?'.
So, I didn't sleep worth a damn last night. Went to a local coffee shop this morning and got a coffee to wake myself up. Had 3 shots of espresso in it. That was at about 11:30. It's now almost 22:00, and my brain is starting to crash.
I think this is the first time I've been genuinely scared about a dye-job, as the brand I picked up is fairly new, and I found very few reviews of it, and like zero pictures as to how the hue comes out. There wasn't even a swatch in the store ;_; I have some back-up blue dye, but I really want this new green to work.
My life feels empty. I don't know what to do to make myself feel alive. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so scared no guys will like me and I'm going to end up alone and everything I plan to give up because of my sexuality is a waste.
Ok, I will bless it with my green-ness Too bad I cant see it __________________________ So tonight I will be going home! YEY! I am finally gonna eat with someone! I hate eating alone. I dont care if the people eating around me is saying hurtful things, at least I know and feel that I exist and people are seeing me