Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afriad of him. (well know one but I like it)
Wrong, he was birthed by a woman, but rather than being pushed out, he punched his way out of the womb! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8k3uGzgZIs
At the beginning of time, the universe was only a speck of dust. Then Chuck Norris came along, roundhouse-kicked the dust, and told it to get a job. Thus came the universe.
Chuck Norris was actually supposed to have died 3,927 years ago. God's just never had the nerve to tell him this.
What's the difference between God and Chuck Norris? One of them is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient while the other one is dog spelled backwards.