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Ze Talk... :P

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Gates, May 10, 2014.

  1. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    My mother is visiting me in about a week and we're going on a vacation together. She's taking me to a retreat center where she contacted the people specifically asking them to help me make peace with/ accept myself (I was SHOCKED btw). So, now that she is finally at least acknowledging that I'm a guy, and because I'm planning to be out from now on/ thinking of top surgery soon-ish, I think it's time to have "ze talk." :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Thoughts on things to tell her/ ask her when we finally talk about my gender and stuff...? I'm a bit at a loss for how to discuss things. It was a DADT situation for 15 years so, yeah...
     
  2. Kasey

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    So, at least you're at that point. Me... Yea... No.

    I can offer you this though.

    (*hug*)
     
  3. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    It took 15 years to get to this point.
     
  4. Orange Bananas

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    Good luck! (*hug*)
     
  5. AudreyB

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    Can you expand on what this trip is all about? A bit confused by what you've provided above. Sounds like your mother is staging some kind of "intervention" for you, but I know that can't be the case. :confused:

    Sorry, it's almost 2:00 AM where I'm at.
     
  6. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    She's not trying an intervention. I asked to go to this healing retreat because of my guilt issues and such. They perform Native American ceremonies and I think maybe that's what I need... Anyway, she wanted to take me because after 15 years, she actually doesn't like seeing me depressed or hating myself. So, yeah, it's actually a good thing and the first time that she's ever recognized my gender.
     
  7. AudreyB

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    Ahhh, gotcha now. :slight_smile: In many respects, sounds like it may be a "healing" opportunity for your mom, too. So yay for chances for mom and son bonding. :slight_smile:

    And I know about guilt. Oh, do I know about guilt. Guilt = teh suck.

    Best wishes for a beautiful time. :thumbsup:
     
  8. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    Yeah... I think you and I were two of the only people who listed "exhaustion" as a reason for accepting ourselves. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Guilt sucks and I have enough to last many lifetimes.
     
  9. AudreyB

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    We could maybe collaborate on the definitive work, fellow scribe. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Yes, self-flagellation is tiring. Not recommended for children of any age!
     
  10. Gates

    Gates Guest

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  11. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    No ideas?
     
  12. AudreyB

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    How much does she know?
     
  13. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    She knows that I identify as male and that I like women.
     
  14. AudreyB

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    Just FWIW, if it were me, I wouldn't exactly plan to preach or proselytize, since she seems to have already accepted your gender/sexuality. Instead, I'd approach it more like a "If you'd like to ask me anything, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have" type of thing. I'd definitely make sure to thank her for being there for me and accepting me.

    $0.02 (or would that be shekels in this domain?)
     
  15. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    Yeah, I was thinking more to offer to answer questions...