I copied this post from the Coming Out section, as nobody was replying there. It's what happened last week: I need to talk about it for a moment. I had a really strange conversation this week, with friends from university. It began with how strange ads one of my friends gets in his ad feed and that he googles nothing strange and then gets some half-porn. And I was like... yeah, me too. A statistical programmer is a horny young male, so if you google anything related to programming or computers, you get that kind of ads. Then I don't remember how it went on to how I don't seem like a female nevertheless? I said that I'm a programmer, so no way I could be a stereotypical female, that I like math and computers and all such things. But hat guy said it's not about me being a tech enthusiast, but a "feeling" that I "give off" . And then he apologised and I tried to resaaure him that it's not a problem for me that he compared me to a dude. I honestly didn't know what to reply. I said that I heard this before many times and later that I feel awkward in all women's groups and joked that I'm more of a dude than a dude (yes, it's true, it shows how stupid stereotypes are). All of this went quite awkward and now I feel the need to make it clear how things stand. I don't want to be dishonest, I don't want to hide and leave things in the sphere of speculation, unclear, and I simply feel like I want to say this, I guess. But I feel nervous and I feel uncertain about it. This would be my first coming out like this. Before, I came out to friends with whom I talked outside school, it wasn't on the rush. It was my own initiative, not that someone else noticed something. I came out to my parents too. I also told a classmate that I feel like no gender at all when he was laughing at this attack helicopter thing and was being transphobic. (He apologised and changed his mind, we became fairly good friends actually and he even called me a he sometimes). I also told a classmate when he asked right away how I identify. But it's the first situation like this and I'm unsure how to approach the subject.
Do you think that your friend is accepting of Transgender people? Do you know if they are an LGBT ally? If you think so, I think if you're ready, you can confide in them about your gender identity. No rush though, take as much time as you need to process it. If you feel like he won't accept it, I recommend leaving it where it is for now. Though there is a chance that over time he may learn to come to terms with it. I've come out to very few people about my gender and I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
Thanks for repying My friends are chill about LGBT topics, luckily Since posting this, I came out to one person who turned out to talk about this, because he is gender non-conforming himself. How it goes from now on? The future will show.
