Your Opinion on Age Gap

One of my friend's parents have about a 20 year age gap, which is crazy in my mind, but hey, as a gay guy I don't really have a right to critize other people's healthy relationships imho lol.

As awful as it may sound, if I were you I'd be more concerned about being used for a green card and legal stuffs than the age difference.

 

sadly, this is more relevant today than it should be. adding possible legal issues on top of a lack of complete acceptance of non-hetero relationships is a lot to put on the back of any couple. if you feel this man has demonstrated genuine feelings for you, our advice wouldn't keep you apart once you've made up your own mind. I would say do what makes you both happy, but do have a serious talk with him about the possible immigration hassles ahead so you'll both be prepared to face them, should they apply.

 

I don't have any problem with the age gap as long as you both are ok and understand the relationship. I would be cautious, sad to say, about being used for a green card or any type of immigrating with you.

 

These are assumptions drawn from other areas that may or may not apply to you.

If someone has lost their parents they may feel a need for a replacement. It is possible he may see you as a father figure and not a partner. There would also be the issue of you dying sooner than he (provided no illness or accident), and may have to go through that loss "again." People also tend to have a mental age irrespective of perceived maturity, it is possible he hasn't got the emotional or physical development to date someone 30 years older. Being "mature" isn't often "mature" but is rarther a compensator for having to "grow up" quicker.
(To illustrate - just one example so not a rule. some of my friends at 16 were dating 20 yr olds. People called them mature enough to deal with the age gap and I'd understand when I'm older (I'm 20 now). However these friends came from 'split families' involving care upbringings and divorce. They had passed through some more difficult life stages and supposudly "knew more about the world" so were "mature" but not necessarily to date someone four years older than them at 16.)
I would be concerned about advantages being taken on you for the green card but if I didn't know you I would worry he's exchanging a green card for a sexual/romantic "relationship" he doesn't really consent to.
He's also only 23 - what prospects does he have of education or work when he gets to you. Also concerns about health since some conditions are more common in some areas than others. He may be immune but a career and due to your intamacy you may be at risk, same with you to him.

Honestly I do have concerns about the age gap and in itself do not think it is healthy. Though I can't make any decison for you.

 

Geographical concerns: The green card thing, and also Nigeria and Ghana are the two most popular countries for scamming westerners out of money. Meeting him in person is definitely abnormal if that's the case though, but if he asks you to pay for things or send him money it could be a long-term scam he's building slowly (they talk to like 50 people at a time for months hoping 1 falls for it and eventually sends them thousands of dollars).

Age concerns: as mentioned earlier in the thread, he might be wanting to use you as a replacement father more than a boyfriend. I'm 22 and for like a week had a kind of intimate friendship with a 60+ year old guy I met. Most of it was very uncomfortable and felt weird, but honestly it was kind of nice having someone about the same age as my dad being affectionate towards me...because, well, my dad never was really and it felt like it filled that gap in my life a little bit temporarily. He might be feeling the same type of thing towards you. (For any young people reading, I don't recommend trying what I did, it was very unhealthy and could have ended pretty badly for me if it continued).

Trauma concerns: your friend in Ghana has a boatload of traumatic experiences and memories if he lost both parents that young, and had to take care of all those siblings alone, in Africa of all places presumably in poverty and dealing with the usual dangers of that part of the world. He might seem great right now, but are you prepared for the lifetime of dealing with his probably pretty shattered emotions and traumas if he comes to live with you? Not to mention the culture shock and additional issues of him trying to adjust from Africa to the United States and him having to either bring all his siblings to live with you also, or somehow find a way to take care of them still from across the world.