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Your definition of attraction

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Islanzadi, Jun 6, 2017.

  1. Islanzadi

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    Hello! :icon_bigg

    I'm starting this thread because while reading throught this forum, I noticed that many people, myself included, are not always sure if what they are feeling is attraction or something else. I read a lot and found a lot of litteral definition for it, but almost nothing about how it really feels like.

    So I thought I would start this thread to help some people out by making a sort of "attraction dictionary", where everybody could read several personnal definitions of attraction. So my question to you guys:

    "What do you feel on the inside when you say you are attracted to someone? What is different inside of you when you look at someone you are attracted to vs someone that is just good looking?"
     
  2. Humbly Me

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    When I look at someone I am attracted to I feel like other things drop out of focus, if they look me in the eyes I get euphoric rushes.
     
  3. lonewolf79

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    I used to look a people I thought were attractive... of course they don't know I exist so they never looked back. I felt kind of warm inside...and I would sometimes blush.
    I guess nowadays I am so "back in the closet" I don't look at all so I can't say if I feel the same or if it's different now.
     
  4. Altruistic blue

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    This is a subject I talk about a lot with some of my ace friends, because they can't really distinguish between finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone.

    When I feel attracted to someone, I feel the desire to physically be around them a lot, and their presence makes me feel more secure. Seeing them and being around them makes me happier without need of much else. Depending on the person, I may desire hugs from them or to just touch them, not necessarily in a sexual way.
     
  5. silverhalo

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    I think if I'm attracted to someone it's like I want to be their best friend, but more than that there is almost a jealousy if someone else is close. If I see an attractive man, I can think he is attractive but then the thoughts won't go any further. With a girl she will stay on my mind. If I'm around her I want to make her happy.
    Something which helped me distinguish was if I'm just friends with a girl and she gets a boyfriend or girlfriend assuming they are a nice person I would be happy and excited for them. If I like the girl and she gets a boyfriend or girlfriend then whilst I might still be happy for her I would feel a bit sad and hurt by it.
     
  6. Humbly Me

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    D: dude why are you hiding away. You still have the left to meet someone you can really be happy with.

    As for silver and blue, I agree with you both.
     
    #6 Humbly Me, Jun 7, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2017
  7. Creativemind

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    I've I'm attracted to someone, I have intense butterflies, think about them all the time, almost feel dizzy, can't sleep because they're on my mind. This is true for romantic attraction, specifically.
     
  8. lonewolf79

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    I wish it were possible but because I am beyond shy I don't feel like I could... I mean I had 2 relationships in the 12 years I have been out and I feel like that was enough for me. It's weird... I am also really awkward in company...
    But there's hope... a little.. but still some (*hug*)
     
  9. annag423

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    It's like a kick in the gut, but in a good way. It's like the whole world just... stops, I guess, except for the person in question. It feels like there's this instant connection, even if we've never met before. That's the way it was when I first met my wife back in 2010, which was well before I knew about being trans or even that trans people existed but I figure still holds true.
     
  10. Mark1410

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    Well, if i find someone attractive, I try to make myself notice, and then to make friendship and to know him/her better. But absolutely, i'm not brave enough to say "hi, i like you, wanna be friends?", gotta always try to find some way to get his/her attention.
     
  11. CharacterStudy

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    Like I want to lick them.

    I don't, obviously. I'd be arrested.

    But a bit drooly, and I just sort of want to gaze at them. If they've got a sexy voice I just want to listen to them.

    I get butterflies before talking to them, there's a spark or connection when our eyes meet. Though to be fair I get that connection with people I click with, even if I'm not attracted. Would want to hold that connection with someone I was attracted to, and would feel breathless.
     
  12. fuz

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    When I want to do certain things with them. Not with an attractive looking person. With them.
     
  13. Foxfeather

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    I'll want to spend as much time as possible with her and I'll be crazy enough to risk rejection for the possibility of getting that "Yes."

    I can't explain it. Attraction to me is a desire to embrace, cuddle, kiss--hell, be a woman for her in some respects. And I'm a trans guy who's still going undercover as a lesbian. But that's just love, more than anything else. For me, I guess I tend to associate the word attraction with love. It's not just about eye candy for me.
     
  14. EFC

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    This is why Im struggling to work myself out. I've always just assumed Im straight, and even though I have known men Ive loved, I wasnt exactly attracted to them. Ive pursued a relationship with them, because I feel that if I love them, then surely wanting to be in a relationship and ultimately have sex with them is a natural progression, even if I dont feel at the time like I really want to. At the same time too, I have known men I think are very good looking and attractive, but Im not attracted to them. The thing is, Im quite shy anyway so struggle with little things like eye contact and touch, and Ive found more recently that I can sometimes go into my shell talking to girls (even ones Ive known for years) the same way I do if Im talking to a man I might be interested in. Thing is, Ive never met anyone of either sex who Ive really looked at and felt like Im sexually attracted to them. No idea if thats from a lack of experience, and its that fear of the unknown thats putting me off. Or Im just not interested, I just dont know.
     
  15. kibou97

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    I view attraction to mean the desire to want to be more than just friends with somebody whether it be wanting to be in a relationship with them, wanting to do things in a sexual sense to/with them, or both. As for how I feel, it's hard to describe. I guess maybe having a deep desire to be with somebody deeper than most other people I see and much deeper than wanting mere objects. It's like I have a deep longing that can't be matched by anything else.
     
    #15 kibou97, Jun 15, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2017
  16. CoconutOilLady

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    -When I see her/am around her I feel that a part of me is recharged (before realizing my orientation, I wasn't even aware this part of me was out of charge, and needed to be charged.)
    -I simultaneously find her intimidating and adorable.
    -I feel that I need to walk a tight rope when I talk to her because otherwise I might end up rambling on and on and revealing everything about my life story (which I did once :/ )
    -While they speak, I closely watch and am fascinated by every movement in her face: every crease, how her eyes move etc.

    Conventional "beauty" certainly as nothing to do with it.