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You'll get over him / her.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by lovetoomuch, Jan 1, 2016.

  1. lovetoomuch

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    This is probably meant to be a blog, but no one would read it then and if I help one person out, I did my job. This is a post for all the people who were rejected and thought their crush would never go away. So, if this is unrelated to you and you are already bored, you can read another post (not trying to sound mean, trying to save you from a long post you didn't want to read in the first place - lol).

    Anyways, about 18 months ago, when I first joined this site, my first post was about something I was personally struggling with. I was a gay man (even though at the time I wanted to believe I was bisexual) with really, REALLY strong feelings for a guy I was 99.9% sure was straight. I had no reason to believe he was gay, but I of course hoped he was because I really liked him.
    I imagined coming out to him, him saying he was interested, us getting into a relationship, etc. I imagined that all, but in the back of my mind I knew he was straight. Well, the little glimmer of hope that he was gay killed me: I spent days, months, years (crushed on him for about 2 years) wondering if we could be together. It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore and told him my feelings. That happened in June of 2014.

    While he was very polite and nice about it (which is something I will always appreciate) he said he was straight and not interested. It felt good to finally tell him my feelings - however, the rejection killed me. I put myself out there for the first time and was rejected.
    Before coming out to him, I believed getting rejected would allow me to get over him immediately, but unfortunately, that was not the case. Months passed and I still had feelings for this guy i never had a chance with.
    One year after coming out to him we didn't talk and I messaged him again (this is now July 2015). I probably looked desperate once again and I wanted to try to form a friendship (which wouldn't have been a good idea anyways). Well, his short responses made it quite clear he wasn't interested in being friends - lol.

    Once again, it sucked. I knew then I had to get over him someway, somehow; my problem was, I didn't know how. But before I knew it, I started thinking about him less. I wasn't going on his social media accounts and seeing how he was doing (I mean this in the least creepy way possible).
    I saw him upload pictures and convinced myself, "Eh, he isn't that good looking anyways."

    My point is, when I started worrying about it less, I got over him. I never imagined getting over him. I tend to not fall for many people, but when I do, I fall HARD. He was certainly the longest crush I ever had, but I want to tell people: if you are in the same situation as I was, it will get better. You'll meet someone you were meant to be with. I'm laying in bed now typing this and realized that. I ust felt the need to make this post because of my realization.

    I'm now crushing on an extremely good looking gay guy, but I'm trying not to fall as hard this time. After liking so many straight guys in the past, it's nice to like someone I at least have a 1% chance with - haha.

    It's a new year people, and I hope you all realize that straight person you crushed on but got rejected by wasn't the right person for you. That gay guy or girl who rejected you, he / she wasn't the right person for you. There is someone out there for you, we just have to find him or her. Have a Happy 2016 everyone, I'm determined to make it the best year of my life and I hope you all are too.
     
  2. ShaiHulud

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    That is great advice dude thanks a lot, i had a crush(more like an obsession) on a "straight" guy when i was 17, he knew and now i am 24 and sometimes i still think about him and i feel that strange feeling in my guts i dont know.
    But i hope i will find a sweet guy this year (&&&)
     
    #2 ShaiHulud, Jan 1, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2016
  3. lovetoomuch

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    Glad you found my post somewhat helpful! And trust me, I've been there and it is the worst feeling in the world. You know a relationship isn't very realistic, but you still have a glimmer of hope. Telling him my feelings really helped in the long run because I found out I didn't have a chance, but I understand coming out to a crush isn't ideal for everyone. Now that you say it, mine was basically an "obsession" for 3 years as well. It wasn't healthy at all.

    Also, I found that as I started accepting my sexuality more, I was able to get over him. While liking him, I realized I was gay instead of bisexual but I still was ashamed of it. Nowadays, I have really come to accept I'm gay and I think that helped me get over him / helped me stop falling for straight guys.

    I wish you luck and I have faith that you can get over this guy!
     
  4. ShaiHulud

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    Thats sweet man thanks i wish you luck too :slight_smile:
    although i always fall for straight boys somehow