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Yet another girl :/

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ashuhley88, May 27, 2017.

  1. ashuhley88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Minnesota
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Psyched myself up to talk to this super cute girl at work, after being super shy the first and only 2 times we met and talked. Not much other than minor chit chat the first couple times, it was a while ago. But since I don't see her around work anymore, I seemed to notice her more when I did see her around the building, pretty much never crossing paths. So I decided to get over my shyness and came up with something to say. Well she walked around the corner today, sort of glanced at me and turned right and walked away. She startled me a little since I wasn't expecting anyone to be right there, and I was literally just wondering if she was at work yet. I don't plan on talking to her now since it seems rather obvious she doesn't notice me, or just doesn't want to talk to me. Anxiety is trying to kick my butt!
     
  2. sapphiregirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    London, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Oh, wow - your situation reminds me so much of my own. I totally understand how you feel! Good job for getting over your shyness and being able to talk to her. I swear that nobody I know understands how terrifying it is to talk to a girl you like. It's also really, really hard when you're not sure about how the other person feels. The uncertainty is one of the most frustrating things. However, I don't think you should completely give up on her yet. Who knows - maybe she felt really nervous/awkward in that moment, and perhaps that's why she walked away. I don't think she doesn't like you. I just think maybe you two should get to know each other a little more, if possible. Perhaps the next time you see her you could try to have a longer conversation. If you get good vibes from her then, maybe you could consider asking her if she'd like to grab a quick coffee sometime.

    I've somewhat resolved my 'issue' about the girl I like now, but I'll tell you my story anyway. We've worked together for three years, but I started realising I liked her after about a year of knowing her. For SO long, there was this weird awkwardness and tension between us. She acted very differently/quietly around me compared to with everyone else and would avoid eye contact. Our conversations were stilted and awkward, and I didn't know how to act because my feelings were so strong. The attraction I felt towards her was so intense that I'd just freeze up and not know what to say. She would be equally as quiet. Going to work was REALLY hard. I hid my feelings and tortured myself over the whole thing, which made me feel very down. Eventually, I found out this girl was also a lesbian - this made me consider the possibility that perhaps she liked me too. I still felt very stuck, though. I didn't know what to do, as relationships between co-workers at my office are frowned upon (and would be even more so if it was an LGBT one). Anyway, it was only recently (a few weeks ago) that I decided enough was enough - I had to just be brave. What did I have to lose? What was the worst that could happen? I finally swallowed my pride and asked her if she wanted to grab lunch sometime. She said yes with a little smirk/smile that told me everything. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The lunch went amazingly well. Now, we talk a lot more, and the connection is great. She's actually moving to another department soon, so if things continue to go well, I think I will definitely consider expressing my true feelings towards her when the time is right.

    Motto of the story:
    Do not torture yourself with your feelings. Try to do something about them, if you can, in order to avoid unnecessary pain. You'll never know unless you try, and if you really like someone, it's so much better to at least give things a go rather than keeping everything inside and waiting for something to happen. I only WISH I had've acted upon my instincts earlier. Even if the person doesn't feel the same, or you get rejected, you will be OKAY. Yes, it will really hurt for a while, but you'll eventually be okay.