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Yay! Just been through another whole year of being single!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Devil Dave, Dec 31, 2016.

  1. Devil Dave

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    Yep. Another whole year I've just lived through without catching anyone's eye. I joined a few dating sites and apps and went on several dates this year that were... Underwhelming at best. I started socializing more, i joined the gym and haven't made any friends out of it. I joined a social group which I made several friends out of, all of them straight, so no romance there. And there was a colleague at work who i was interested in and asked out quite a few times, but was always busy, then he recently left and said he'd stay in touch, but hasn't. So yep, all of my attempts to put myself out there and connect with people have gone in vain. Thinking of becoming a monk. Or possibly a hermit. Clearly the whole love life thing is not for me. Should I start collecting cats? :roflmao:
     
  2. Quantumreality

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    Hey Nice Dave,

    Don't give up on trying to find someone. If you stop looking you will only be ensuring your self-fulfilling prophecy that you will end up alone.

    There is someone out there for you. Maybe change up where or how you are looking for a partner. It sounds like you live in an area with a relatively low LGTBQ population. Is there an area or city you could go to that has a section with a fairly significant LGBTQ population? If so, maybe you could find an LGBTQ center and join in order to meet more LGBTQ people. Or try going to neighborhood-type bars in an LGBTQ portion of a nearby city - not the 'pickup' kind of gay bars, but just local bars where people go to drink, socialize maybe play pool or darts, etc and the majority of the clientele happens to be LGBTQ.


    OBTW, if you end up making a choice between being a monk and a hermit, I'd recommend being a monk and finding a cool monastery that makes a desirable artisan product like a really good beer or cheese or such.:grin:

    Just some thoughts.:slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 31st Dec 2016 at 06:15 AM ----------

    Also, are there any sports or hobby groups in your area that you might be interested in joining? Hiking, biking, etc? LGBTQ-specific groups would be ideal, but even just regular groups would be fine and you would meet more people. Meeting more people would increase your chances of finding a romantic interest, as well.
     
    #2 Quantumreality, Dec 31, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2016
  3. Devil Dave

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    Yes, I do live in a small town with tiny gay population (although there has been a deluge of lesbians settling in the area recently :eek:slight_smile: so I often do visit the neighboring cities to socialize. In fact, I just went to one of these places 2 days ago for a date, and it lasted an hour. The man just wanted sex. I would've been ok with it, except neither of us were able to accommodate, so he made his excuses and left.

    I wandered around town by myself for a bit, went back to the cafe (not a gay pub, but a lgbt friendly place, like what you mentioned) and there was one guy sitting on his own. I smiled at him and he smiled back, and he continued to tap away on his phone. Tried catching his eye again, but he was on his phone the whole time, so clearly whatever he was looking at on his phone was more interesting or more important than me. i finished my drink and left, and then I found a message on one of the apps - from this same guy - saying "was that you sitting near me just now?"

    Well, maybe if i had been a bit bolder, something might have come of this "encounter" but we've all become so reliant on our phones and apps these days it seems people have forgotten how to interact with each other.
     
  4. WarmEmbrace

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    Well getting one cat won't hurt, except if your crush is allergic to cat hair :slight_smile:
    I've been in a similar situation for a log time, and took refuge in work and that was turning me in a rather mono-faceted individual, which is not good.
    Finding hobby groups and like minded people is where it is at :slight_smile:. Keep improving yourself and someone who can appreciate you will come along.

    PS:The the cat waiting for you at home in the evening when you get back from work, climbing in your lap and purring is a nice bonus. <3
    PPS: If you go the monk route go to Tibet and learn Kung fu, be badass :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    PPPS: AI companion robots, with sexual functionality are not that far off in the future, If everything else fails, I'm putting some chips on that number as well. :grin:. Not ideal, but hey we do what we can to survive :slight_smile:.
     
  5. Quantumreality

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    So, it sounds like you are being fairly proactive, but maybe just need to be a little bolder, as you said, and take a few chances being a little more upfront. Maybe visit locations like you described a little more often, if you can, and perhaps try some other towns, if that is relatively convenient for you.

    By the way, what is up with the stereotype of gay people and cats? Stereotypes are usually stupid to begin with, but I never really got that one at all. I don't know a ton of gay guys and lesbians, but very few of the ones I know have cats. :grin:
     
  6. Kira

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    It's probably because cats are the single best thing about the universe.<3

    I'm sure my several fluff-covered children agree with me. :lol:

    [​IMG]

    And more on topic, I've managed to go about... four? maybe six years now? I keep getting either guys asking me out and the few girls seemingly aren't there for anything emotional/serious so not for me. But maybe I'll find somebody with a real emotional connection before I end up looking like Kim Davis... So I get you, haha. Hard to be picky with such a tiny dating pool.
     
  7. Brian30

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    Hi Dave. I think we got something in common, I stay in a area where the lgbtq population are low. I tried hooking up but they just seem to be far away.
     
  8. Devil Dave

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    Owning cats is not a gay stereotype, it's a being single stereotype. You know, like becoming that crazy old man or woman who lives in a smelly house full of 900 hissing cats!
     
  9. Quantumreality

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    Aha! Got it. I guess that shows how much attention I really pay to stereotypes.:grin: