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Would you say "yes" if asked?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Really, Aug 5, 2014.

  1. Rosie

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    In the past, I've responded with 'kinda...', 'I mostly like guys', 'I really don't know', 'maybe', or 'well...' but never a definite 'yes!'. (I do get that question more often than most of you, it seems. I just can't keep my mouth shut when others are discussing females.)

    Perhaps, if someone asked me right now, I would say yes. But I honestly don't know for sure.
     
  2. gazwkd

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    Many moons a go #i always avoided the question. I came to a decision a few year ago that I would never be dishonest and if asked outright would be honest. It worked out for the best. Constantly telling untruths can slowly destroy a person.
     
  3. Adarya

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    When I was in the questioning stage a lot of my better friends and sister actually new that I had a "crush". If anyone would have asked me if I was gay I would definitely have said "well, I know I'm not straight". There was only two people that outright asked me if I was gay and I was flustered in the beginning, but I responded honestly.

    When I realized that I was a lesbian having people guess my sexual orientation was something that helped me come out, especially to my friends. A few actually asked me if I was gay, but many of my friends just caught onto it and accepted it. I'm pretty sure when I would say how cute girls were and how I was never sexually attracted to any guys most of my friends realized pretty quickly, without even having to guess. Now it's not that big of a deal if someone asks me my sexual orientation. I'm not very popular and my friends are a very selected group, so most of them know. The only time I have lied about my sexual orientation was when I was asked by a group of popular people that were bullying me and when I was asked during a gathering of my extended family. I'm still hiding my sexual orientation from most of my family (besides my mother, father, and sister no one in my family knows) and I just don't know if I'm ready to be recognized as "the lesbian girl" at school. So those are the only times I don't give the full truth (most of the times I don't lie, I just avoid it and tell confusing truths).
     
  4. Really

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    Hey thanks for the replies! This is all very interesting to me. I don't know if I really expect anyone to ask - I don't particularly have a personal style that says "lesbian" - but if you thought about the details of my life, you might begin to wonder.
    Even though I said I would answer positively, in reality in my personal circle of people, I would want my mom/family to know first. I would be heartbroken if the infirmation circled back and she learnt it from someone else. We are very close and she's amazingly cool for her age. I do know that I'd want to tell her when she doesn't need to drive anywhere for a while - don't want her getting in to an accident because she was distracted by this. :{
     
  5. HM03

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    I normally come up with jokey response. So I guess you could say try and avoid it.
     
  6. PICollins91

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    Depends on who's asking, if I know they mean no harm and are just curious then it's a yes, if I have a bad feeling I'll give 'em the cold shoulder with a "What's it to you?" or "Whattaya', writin' a book or sumptin'?" to gauge them further.
     
  7. betterthantoday

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    At this point, I'm already out to 4 people. But I cannot let my parents know yet so the fact that I'm gay has to be hidden from my parents & my relatives (because if my relatives know then my parents will know very soon...). So to answer your question, I think if any of my friends ask me now whether I'm gay or not, I will just admit. But if the questions come from my family or relatives, I might have to deny, at least for the time being.
     
  8. whosamelia

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    Nobody's ever asked me... I would probably say yes though, given I could trust the person asking to not blab about it to other people.
     
  9. YuriBunny

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    Yeah. It's happened before.
     
  10. ChameleonSoul

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    It hasn't happened yet, but part of me wishes that someone would ask me. It would make my life a whole lot easier. Apparently I'll have to covered in rainbows for anyone to notice.
     
  11. CandyKing

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    Here a hug (*hug*) I feel that way too sometimes.
     
  12. Pie

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    If I know the person, I wouldn't deny it but I wouldn't say "Yes!" either. I would stay quiet, looking right into their eyes until they come to the conclusion for themselves.

    If it was a complete stranger I would say yes.

    I don't feel like lying anymore.
     
  13. looking for me

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    no one has asked me outright, since i came out to myself and to the people i listed on the left. if my son asks i will tell him the truth.
     
  14. ChromeNerd

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    That will probably never happen unless I get a girlfriend. I doubt that will happen any time soon because I don't think anyone in their right mind would date someone in my situation. By the time I get a girlfriend I will probably be comfortable enough to say yes.
     
  15. timber

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    I would hope I would say yes, but I think it would depend on who asked and what setting I was asked in.
     
  16. Damien

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    Unless there is some clear threat to my personal safety - for example, on a train in which some guys are sitting whose language and demeanour displays a probability that they are not only homophobic, but might even follow a 'queer' and bash him or whatever - I am resolving to be honest if asked. I feel that denying it is kind of validating the false notion that it's not perfectly ok to be lgbt, and it is perfectly ok. Plus I think society is beginning to shift on this matter.
     
  17. ABeautifulMind

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    IDK, I have been asked before but it was long before i was questioning myself, who knows maybe they could tell... but anyways, i have not been asked since i came out to myself, but if i was i think it would depend on who asked. if it was a stranger i think i would say yes. if its someone i knew... i would atleast hesitate even if i said yes...
     
  18. RAdam

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    No, I'd tell them to fuck off and laugh at it. Only my family has asked me because I never brought home a girlfriend so they were wondering if I was into guys or if I kept the girls secret for em.
     
  19. Hyaline

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    I have only ever been asked twice.. And both times I said yes... (Both were women oddly enough)..
     
  20. calgary

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    I hope I'm at the point where i would say yes. In the past I've been very good at avoiding the topic. I would struggle if there was a group of people around and if certain people asked but really trying to get to the point where I don't care who knows.