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Would you say "yes" if asked?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Really, Aug 5, 2014.

  1. Really

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    Even though I'm still a bit baffled by my newfound "non-straight" status, and, as I'm still in questioning mode and not prepared to initiate telling anyone, I'm almost positive that if anyone guessed and asked me about it, I would answer in the affirmative.

    I think if they were a stranger (although I'm not sure how this would happen), I would say "yes" and if they were someone I already knew, I would say something like, "Possibly. Very probably."

    I'm not sure any of these scenarios would actually happen but I've been spending a tiny bit more time with an acquaintance, who I know is a lesbian, who may have hinted at this info last time I saw her. Mind you, it was just an off-hand remark about girls being better than boys in a certain context but it sounded like it might have been a pre-fishing statement. Wishful thinking? (Gawd. I hope she's not on here...)

    If you're one of the "questioners" here, would you say "yes" if asked?
    If you're out, did having people guess help you get to actively coming out?
     
  2. mangotree

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    Yeah, my Dad asking me if I'm gay was the start of my adult life.
    Around 3 months after that, I was out to basically everyone.
     
  3. wontwalkblindly

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    Most of the people I've come out to have either asked, or I've had them guess bc I was scared to say it. It helped me and now I am out to friends and parents as the thing says.
    Just think about what you want to say when people ask. You don't have to say "I'm gay." Or "I'm bi." Or any other definite label. You can just say something like "I like [these types of people]..but I'm not sure yet."
    It's okay to question and you don't need to stay in the closet just bc you don't have the "perfect label" yet, if you are ready to come out. Do what feels best to you.
    If you come out as something and then later realize your identity is a bit difference than what you originally thought...that's okay. Sexuality is a fluid thing.
    Take as much or as little time as you need to tell people.
    Good luck my friend!
     
  4. Rose22

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    A year or 2 ago I was asked by a girl and I denied it. Still regret it to this day. I think if I was asked now I would be honest.
     
  5. sandcastle

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    I think I'd be honest most of the time. Maybe with some people I would try to get away without answering, but I wouldn't deny it.
     
  6. Mocha

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    I'm very much questioning but pretty sure I'm a lesbian. It would probably for me depend who asked, as I'm married with kids, but tbh I think I would likely say yeah I probably am. I think even if it was my husband who asked me I would answer that. I always hope that when I'm out with friends, that a stranger asks me, I suppose for affirmation. Think I would like that :wink:
     
  7. OGS

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    I never had anyone ask. Actually now that I think about it I'm not sure I've ever had anyone ask, and at this point I've been out for twenty years. I think it might have sped things along if it had happened.
     
  8. Shaded

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    I haven't had anybody ask me but if they did i would certainly tell them. I dont like the whole idea of sitting people down to tell them I'm gay. I'd rather answer to their question or casually tell them.
     
  9. nomdeplume

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    I would say yes if someone asked, in fact I'd prefer it if they did, but I don't think anyone will, I'm not very obvious about my attraction to people.
     
  10. TheStormInside

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    Well, my friend asked while I was trying to work up the courage to come out to her this weekend, and I said "I think I might be." That's likely what I'd say if someone else asked, at this point, as well. I'm trying to start moving forward on this whole coming out thing, so it would sure be a lot easier if people asked!
     
  11. happydavid

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    It depends on who it is.
     
  12. Pax

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    I'm honest when asked, but it's quite rare for people to ask. I guess it's the sort of question that people feel embarrassed to ask unless they're already fairly certain of the answer.
     
  13. RedDev84

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    I think I'm actually at the point where (albeit depending on the situation) I will probably say 'yes'. That hasn't happened yet during the time I decided I'd say yes though.

    When I wasn't really sure and didn't think much about my sexuality at school (apart from the last 2 years) I admittedly did say no on the few occasions I was asked. I don't actually know if I regret this or not, I think the reason for that is I am not in touch with most at school anymore, with the exception of 1 or 2. I don't even think they were asking because they suspected that I was. The guys/girls at my school seemed to ask everyone this all the time.... What the result would have been if I did say yes during my school years is anyone's guess.
     
  14. pigpassport

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    When asked if I was bi by my new flatmates last year I said yes but had I not been drunk at the time I know I wouldn't have.

    If a stranger asked me, I don't know what I'd say, maybe I'd say yes. If someone I know now, especially someone that I've known for a few years asked me I would say no. My family are a very typical straight white middle class family when it comes to anything LGBT. They have no problem with it, but someone being gay is something that's worth mentioning, it's a big deal half the time, and they make homophobic joke and stuff, harmless stuff but coming out to them is not happening any time in the near future. They have actually asked before, in one of their typical middle class white family moments and having felt very very accused and on the spot about it (people's tones of voices are wonderful to make you sound accused) I said no and will continue to do so every time I am asked by them until I actually tell them if I ever do
     
  15. sarahpenny02

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    i would say yes however since i have a boyfriend everyone assumes im straight (the reality is i very much prefer girls and hes practically the only guy i've honestly fallen for). haha my life.
     
  16. thekillingmoon

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    If someone guessed, I'd say yes. Would make it easier actually. The thing is I doubt anyone will ever ask unless I draw a rainbow on my face or something.
     
  17. confuseduser99

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    I'm still having a hard time doing this. Came out to myself in April. I was asked by some colleagues in June if I were straight, and it blanked out. One of them said "no comment?" I replied "yeah, no comment". I haven't been asked recently since I've come out to myself. I feel like I'd freeze again. I want to tell the truth and say "yes, I'm gay", but I can't seem to bring myself to do it...
     
  18. phoenix89

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    When I was questioning, if I was asked I answered.

    Now that I am out, when someone asks, I will more than willing to answer. People asking was pretty helpful. It got me to talk about it, with having to build up the courage to say anything.
     
  19. PinkCammelia90

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    If someone asks me, I'm usually pretty candid. Once or twice I've gotten flustered, but that's usually for the way in which I've been asked.

    To be fair, it's not something I get quizzed on very often; most people assume I'm straight by first impression.
     
  20. Princess Danica

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    I don't cross dress in public yet, so nobody is gonna know that part of me unless they known me well or ask directly, but if someone asked about my orientation I wouldn't hold anything back. Sure you have to watch out for the crazies, but other than that... if you're not questioning anymore, why hide it? I guess you could have your reasons...