1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Would you date someone who is from an "anti-LGBT" culture?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lemons123, Jan 6, 2016.

  1. lemons123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2014
    Messages:
    548
    Likes Received:
    0
    I mean, would you date someone who is from say the Arabic speaking counties, or Eastern Europe?

    My case is more "complex", as I am from the Eastern parts of Europe and have strong interest in the Middle East, part of which is because I find some of the people there incredibly sexy. Like the accent of that Arabic girl singing with Flo Rida(the rapper):

    [YOUTUBE]v8nhToPcXIo[/YOUTUBE]

    ---------- Post added 6th Jan 2016 at 08:10 AM ----------

    So it's part of my NY resolution to learn either Hebrew(I know Israel is liberal...) or Arabic by the end of the year...and Happy New 2016 btw :slight_smile:.
     
  2. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes, as long as they weren't anti-LGBT. I mean, if you label someone as Z, just because they are X, then that could cause them to become Z, but only due to the labeling.
     
  3. lemons123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2014
    Messages:
    548
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sure, I didn't mean if they are like that but just what 'surrounds' them. Say you meet a sexy guy from Iran living in the west and then the moment comes when you have to travel to Iran and meet his family?

    Even if his family are supportive I'd expect something "pretty hardcore"(for the lack of better words...) to happen in Iran if you demonstrate your love publicly.
     
  4. thepandaboss

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2015
    Messages:
    2,436
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Oregon
    Well, of course. I can assume that they're probably LGBT too or (in the case of a female partner), an LGBT ally to some extent. So chances are likely that they might not be too close to their own family. Might be in the closet themselves. So it'd be harsh of me to reject someone for a family they can't really control, you know? My boyfriend's extended family was actually pretty transphobic. I never actually met them in person (only relatives that lived in town were his lesbian sister and mother- mother had her problems but wasn't majorly transphobic, sister probably was but is in no position to judge) but I remember his aunt sending him a multi-paragraph text where she was like "oh, your boyfriend is really a girl." He ended up blocking the aunt's number from texting him again after that.
     
  5. Gen

    Gen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Nowhere
    There is no such thing as a non anti-LGBTQ culture or region. Hell, LGBTQ culture is homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic. There is no such thing as a culture in which some degree of negativity is associated with minorities or non-conformers does not exist. There never will be.

    You cannot place your finger on a map and determine whether prejudice is present in that region. Of course, it is. Regardless of how often we tend to try to convince ourselves that our cultures, countries, communities, or families are the most progress groups of people to ever walk this earth, we could easily walk into any one of these regions and find plenty of racist. Plenty of sexists. Plenty of homophobic, transphobic, ethnocentric, supremacists. The idea that hate and prejudice are things that we have evolved above simply because some of us haven't directly experienced it or because other countries may have it worse is very misguided.

    The difference between regions of high discrimination and persecution and those of lower rates is law and regulation. Not concentration of hate. There is a direct correlation between crime and prosecution. The less likely citizens are to be prosecuted the more crimes they commit. Hate crimes in particular. We need to stop associating the behavior of members of certain countries, belief systems, cultures, or ethnic groups as matters of character rather than the matters institution and social structure that they very clearly are.
     
    #5 Gen, Jan 6, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2016
  6. misplacedaegyo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2015
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Copenhagen
    As long as they are not "anti-lgbt" themself and are "against" people who are. It's not their fault that I lot of people from their culture happen to be anti-lgbtqa+, so I don't see why someone would not want to date someone because of their cultural background like that.
     
  7. WhereWeWere

    WhereWeWere Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2015
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    America
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    I don't care where they're from, as long as they love me. Though if they wanted me to wanted to meet their homophobic/transphobic family from that area, well... that could cause problems.
     
  8. YinYang

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Florida
    As long as the person themself wasn't anti-LGBT, then sure. It doesn't matter where they are from.
     
  9. Austin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'd have a slight aversion toward dating someone from a culture that is very anti-gay and would avoid it if possible but it wouldn't weigh that heavily as long as there was no real danger from their family or something.
     
  10. Kinky

    Kinky Guest

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2015
    Messages:
    364
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nowhere
    Don't ask me to live in those countries without gay protection and we'll be cool.
    Also expect that I might not get along well with your family.
     
  11. TeruTeruBouzu

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    I think it's unreasonable to not date someone because of cultural background. I wouldn't want to live there though.
     
  12. Lord Faren

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Prefer not to say
    That's a tough one, at least for the people willing to date someone who will, introduce the culture or place to them. because from living here, as in the middle east. i can say it's either, you'd have to keep the relationship a secret, or gamble with your life. which in most cases wont end well. (That's if we're talking, places, like Saudi Arabia) if not, then, apologies.
     
  13. Isarene

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2015
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Califronia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Yeah, as long as they themeselves aren't anti-LGBT
     
  14. biAnnika

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,839
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My partner's family was extremely bigoted...racist, sexist, anti-LGBT. But she wasn't, so we had room to get close. I don't see how dating someone (I presume you mean a same-sex person) from an "anti-LGBT culture" is any different. I mean, if they're willing to date you, then clearly *they* aren't anti-LGBT...is there a reason to judge further?

    I mean, yeah, I'd prefer if my partner's family had been as cool and accepting as mine...or at least not nearly quite so hateful. But, y'know, I think love was worth it.
     
  15. Burnedcloset

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2014
    Messages:
    1,072
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    santas workshop
    Well, I would prefer my hypothetical boyfriend had a supportive family. My family will never want to do anything with him or I. Ever.

    I want to live vicariously through my boyfriend regarding family. If I find a great long term relationship, I would like to have a pseudo-family in his. It's a bit weird but, it makes sense in my head.

    having a anti-queer family really fucks with your head. So I rather it just be me with the mental scars.
     
  16. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Messages:
    655
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in your soul
    I won't judge someone based off their family or whatever. Who would ever do that?
     
  17. Austin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think it's something to take into consideration....
     
    #17 Austin, Jan 6, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2016
  18. guitar

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Southern Ontario, Canada
    If the person's immediate family is anti-LGBT this will likely be a factor in me not dating them because I am likely to be seen as a threat to their son. If the family is totally cool, I have zero issues with dating a person who may be of a culture not typically seen as pro-LGBT. I'm an equal opportunity dater, but if their family isn't into their sexuality, that will be something I take into consideration.
     
  19. Boudicca

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2015
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I come from "the South" (USA) and was raised by Catholics, so I come from what you could call an "anti-LGBT" culture. Just because someone is raised in that environment doesn't mean they are anti-LGBT themselves, so yeah, I'd date someone from that background. Of course, as a gay person, it would be silly (and confusing) to date someone who is anti-LGBT.
     
  20. Kinky

    Kinky Guest

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2015
    Messages:
    364
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nowhere
    It's not unreasonable to take the family into consideration.

    In some cultures, especially the east, people generally have a close tie with their families. This attachment can present an obstacle to romantic relationships. You don't want to get married to someone only to find out their whole bunch see you as an eyesore and expect you to take care of them. Your partner wouldn't even stand up for you and routinely listen to their parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, third cousins' counsels. I've seen people getting divorced not because they are incompatible, but because their two respective families had different expectations of the relationship. Now add into some anti-LGBT and peer pressure elements! I'm not saying that you should discount someone completely because of their family. But I'd watch out for any 'red flags'
     
    #20 Kinky, Jan 7, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2016