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Would you change your surname if you got married?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe2001, Apr 26, 2020.

  1. Joe2001

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    Just a general question since tradition doesn't really apply to a same-sex marriage.

    What do you think about surnames when it comes to getting married?
    Would you change your name to theirs? Would they take yours? Would you double-barrel or would you both keep your own names?

    What are your thoughts?
     
  2. AwesomGaytheist

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    Absolutely not, and I wouldn’t want him to either. If I were a heterosexual woman I wouldn’t change my name either.
     
  3. gravechild

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    In a heartbeat
     
  4. musicteach

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    Nope. We’re both keeping our surnames.
     
  5. Marble Jar

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    Good question. I can't be sure without being in the situation, but i think i would want us to both keep our surnames.
     
  6. OGS

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    We combined our last names and both took that last name.
     
  7. Destin

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    I'd only do that if my name sounded terrible and his sounded better. Both of our names are pretty average, common, and boring though, so there's no reason to change them. I dislike the double last name thing, it complicates things. Nobody knows how they should be saying the name after that, and future generations doing it too eventually ends up with like 4-8 part surnames which is crazy.
     
  8. HM03

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    Most likely keeping my last name for life.

    I dislike hyphenated names, and (although people fuck up my spelling fairly often) I have a simple enough last name that I've grown fond of LOL.
    And unless he really wanted, I wouldn't want to him to take my last name either.
     
  9. Joe2001

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    Interesting thoughts.

    I guess I'm kinda going against the general consensus here as I wouldn't want to have a different name to my husband if I got married. I can't imagine being married and not sharing a surname. I kinda like the tradition of one spouse taking the other's name (nothing to do with gender) or even going the double barrel route.

    If I liked my husband's surname, I would probably take it although would worry if that would upset my family, particularly since my grandfather wanted me to pass on the name which obviously isn't happening. The name is fairly uncommon which is a good and bad thing.
     
  10. Marble Jar

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    There's nothing wrong with that if it's what you both want to do. If you like tradition then it makes sense. The right guy for you will find that romantic :slight_smile:
     
  11. OGS

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    This was pretty close to how I felt. I didn't really care what it was. I just wanted it to be the same. For us it was kind of an easy choice because friends had already been referring to us as the aaaa-bbbbs forever.
     
  12. Denial

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    I plan to keep my name if I ever get married. I don't want kids but if I did I think I would want either myself or my wife to change names because I would want the child/children to have parents with the same last name.
     
  13. Chaosbi

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    My wife didn't care one way or another. In the end she just changed her name since sharing a last name with the person I married was something that was important to me.
     
  14. mellissa

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    I would want us to keep our own surnames. This is who we were before meeting each other and this is who we are after meeting each other.
    Our kids would have hyphenated names.
     
  15. 17Bee19

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    I absolutely would. I like the idea of really becoming one through a shared name. However, I would consider my partner as well and what they would want. If they wanted to change to mine or not at all, I would be okay with that too.
     
  16. Nightlight

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    I don't like my last name I have, but changing it kinds feels like I'm being absorbed into their family, stripped away from mine. Personally.
     
    #16 Nightlight, Apr 29, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2020
  17. BlueMonday

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  18. Phoenix92

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    I'm honestly not sure what I would do if I ever did get married.
    As of right now I don't use my last name, except for on official documents.
    When I under took my legal name change I didn't drop it, because I still had pride in it.
    But, following the coming out to my grandmother and her reaction, that's when I decided to drop my surname for everyday use.
     
  19. ElleGab

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    Well, I'm bisexual, but regardless of what gender I marry, I wouldn't get rid of mine to take theirs. I would be open to hyphenating, as long as they did it too. I just don't like the idea of giving up my family identity and taking on someone else's when they get to keep the same name.
     
  20. BothWaysSecret

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    No for a few reasons,

    1. My last name is also the title of a popular video game franchise so I wouldn't want to change it.
    2. Out of all the cousins on my dad's side of the family, I am one of the very few males, so carrying on the name is up to me and like two other people.

    At most I'd hyphenate, but I'd never get rid of my last name fully.