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Would you be someone's lover?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by eMei, Jul 25, 2016.

?

Would you be someone's lover?

  1. Yes - regardless of if they have children.

    17.4%
  2. Yes - but only if they don't have children.

    9.3%
  3. No - never.

    62.8%
  4. No - if they have children.

    1.2%
  5. Other - explain.

    9.3%
  1. Awesome

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    I agree that it is the married person's responsibility not to cheat on their spouse. At the same time, I wouldn't help anyone cheat.

    ---------- Post added 26th Jul 2016 at 08:45 AM ----------

    Even with the spouse's permission, I wouldn't feel comfortable getting in the middle of someone else's relationship.
     
    #21 Awesome, Jul 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  2. OGS

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    First scenario: wouldn't do it out of respect for other people.

    Second scenario: wouldn't do it out of respect for myself.
     
  3. Aussie792

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    Absolutely not. To knowingly take part in cheating, even if you have no direct obligation to the wronged partner, is to implicitly approve of a world in which relationships are not respected and in which deception is condoned. You breach principle by your action, regardless of whether it will be discovered, by participating and approving of the breach of that promise. If it's discovered, you cause (presumably strong) emotional harm to the spouse.

    It is also to say you're fine with a world in which you should accept being cheated on in your own monogamous relationships, applying elsewhere any argument you put forward here.

    That's just not the sort of behaviour I'm happy to take part in, in all circumstances.

    Now if it's an open relationship, there's an extent to which relatively casual sex is not going to be a moral problem. It might end up being difficult on a personal, psychological and social level not to be that person's partner were it an ongoing situation; ultimately it could become degrading and soulless, always to be 'on the side'. After all, 'lover' is too often a disingenuously romantic term for an attachment entirely dependent on sex.

    ---------- Post added 26th Jul 2016 at 11:01 PM ----------

    Well put, in far fewer words than I managed. :lol:
     
  4. Creativemind

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    No for second scenerio two, as I don't like or want just sex. I like a strong emotional connection before sex happens and a committed relationship. And because I am monogamous and jealous (especially when a man is involved) at least one of us would try to tear things up.

    I also wouldn't for the same reasons I said before, men are ok with two women being together because they don't take lesbian sex seriously. Even if I was ok with open relationships It is a dealbreaker to have a lack of validation for me, and I also don't know if this man will force me into a threesome with him (extreme turn-off). I think I would only be ok with it if there is solid proof that the woman I'm dating is also allowed to date other men besides her spouse (even then probably won't cause of the jealousy) since at least I know sexism would not be involved.
     
    #24 Creativemind, Jul 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  5. Stewie

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    That sums it up for me as well.
     
  6. Brytaleith

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    Lmao, I just don't see the point. I mean, money, sure, but my need for money definitely does not outweigh my opinions towards sex and romance.

    Also, cheating is really bad. Being the one involved just makes it all the more worse.
     
  7. PennyT

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    For me, a good relationship is less about money and sex and more about good companionship and love. I don't know if I could stand being with someone who might not love more, or at least didn't love me enough to be with just me. Even if the spouse gave permission, I wouldn't feel comfortable being in that sort of relationship without love.
     
  8. HappyGirlLucky

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    This sums it up really well for me. I would also likely fall in love with her at some point and things would get very complicated and I feel like I have enough complications in my life already so the second scenario would not work for me either.

    I already answered the first scenario in the poll: a definite "no". It goes against everything I believe in and stand for.
     
  9. Van

    Van
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    Absolutely NO! The very thought of cheating (whether it's me being the third person or someone was my lover or my partner was seeing someone else beside me... or some other configuration of this) disgusts me.

    I'm usually very open minded on various topics and subjects, but when it comes to love and relationships, I think a love relationship should be between two people. Now, if the two are in an open relationship and are aware of each other's "lovers", then that's entirely their business and I couldn't care less what they do. But when it comes to me, it is out of question - seeing other people on the side is not allowed. And if I found out that my man was seeing someone or was doing something with someone, he better not come home. :icon_wink

    #monogamousasfuck :grin:
     
  10. I'm_Danni_x

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    Absolutely not, I'm strictly monogamous and against open relationships.
     
  11. Libertino

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    Sounds degrading.
     
  12. L0ser

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    Never. In my opinion cheating is never okay
     
    #32 L0ser, Jul 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  13. eMei

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    Really? You're getting what you want and so is the other party. It only becomes degrading if you fall in love with the person, since you'll always be second to the spouse, but you'd know that going into the relationship.
     
  14. KayJay

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    If my BF consented and the person's spouse also did, I'd do it. If there is consent missing from even one party, it becomes a no.
     
  15. Oh, I should of read the OP before voting, heheh.

    Overriding my vote; I'd say no.
     
  16. Aberrance

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    It's not the married persons full responsibility at all. When a person murders another person and there's someone on the side watching, they're still an accomplice to murder. Just because they didn't drive the knife doesn't mean they get to discard any responsibility.

    But nah, I'm not into sex anyway, even if I was I'd never be a 'bit on the side' especially knowing the person had kids. Coming from a broken home is a difficult enough situation to grow up in. If you have an affair with this married person you've basically had a massive negative impact on these kids lives.
     
  17. Libra Neko

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    No way. Too much respect for myself.
     
  18. HappyGirlLucky

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    It is more akin to selling the knife to the murderer after being informed of what they are going to use it for and saying "hey I just sell knives, it's their responsibility not to murder people with it."

    One is a passive role while the other requires actively participating in what is happening.
     
  19. ChameleonSoul

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    No, absolutely not! If I knew someone firsthand who was being someone's side bitch, I don't think that I could let the unaware spouse sit by without knowing that they're being stabbed in the back. And I know this sounds a bit harsh, but I don't think that I could keep talking to someone who knowingly did that to someone.
     
  20. YuriBunny

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    No. They're straight, so to me it would be a waste of time, even regardless of their marriage/kids.

    ---------- Post added 26th Jul 2016 at 04:22 PM ----------

    Yeah, this is what I'm saying.