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Words

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JonB321, Jul 9, 2005.

  1. JonB321

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    What do you guys think about this? Yesterday, I was driving around with my best friend, who I am out to, and who is 100% straight (ungodly cute as well, but whatever). We were just talking about stuff, and the subject of a few kids we had just seen came up, and he says, "Those kids are such fags." Immediatly he realized what he said, and corrected himself, and apologized like 300 times, smacked his head on the dashboard, and promised he'd never do it again. I told him it was fine, and I knew he didn't mean it like, "Those kids are homosexuals, and thus lower than me because they do not like vagina."

    So this got me thinking, when is it alright for straight guys to say gay or fag or any of that stuff. If a guy is walking down the street wearing a pink juicy jump suit, and walking a chihauhau with a feather boa, can they look at the guy and say, "Wow, he's gay"? or is that wrong? I don't know, there are 100 meanings for all of these words, so which do you think straight people should be able to use and which ones should they stay away from?

    Personally, I don't really mind the words that much unless they are used in a malicious tone. Then I get really upset by them.
     
  2. confusedkid

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    Words are just words... one time I was out with my gay friend and was told by some random guy (they seemed like some hick tourists visiting DC) that I was a fag, God hates me and that I should die of HIV/AIDS as soon as possible, which I thought was nice. But some other random lady walking along the sidewalk with us screamed back at them, which was nice. I just know that I'm better than people like that. Did I get upset? Not really. In all likelihood they'll be living in a trailer somewhere for the rest of their lives.

    -CK
     
  3. JonB321

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    Well, okay, you might be a little too good about it. If someone told me to die of Aids, I would belittle them to the point of tears, but that's just me. About 2 months ago, when I was living in Italy, some crazy woman came up to me, and said "Hail Hitler," right up in my face. I mean, the woman was crazy, but I'm a gay jew, she just insulted me two fold! I went at her for a good 10 minutes. Of course, afterwards I realized that she was so crazy and homeless that it didn't even regester with her... but whatever.
     
  4. goratrix

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    I really don't mind, but since I am evil (Mwahahahaha)... there is this one friend, than whenever I tell him something like 'oh, I got a higher score than you', or 'nananana, I don't have to take that test because I already have 100% score' (obviously provoking him, and always in joking way) he replies: 'ahh, you know why? that's because you are a 'puto'' (puto is similar to fag, but not exactly the same). And he alwas corrects himself... last time I was a puerro (wich is a mix of puto(fag) and perro(dog)) He changed his mind in the middle of the word...

    I constantly laugh when he does that, and he already noticed I don't mind... so... it's all pink and fluffy now... XD

    About people using queer, or gay, or fag, I don't care, if they mean harm to me, then there are worst things that they can use, if they don't mean harm to me, then I don't care.

    And just so you know. I could kick their asses... most of them anyway...
     
  5. joeyconnick

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    I think if it's meant derogatorily, then it's a no-no, especially for straight people. That being said, I will often accuse gay friends of being "fags" which I mean in a (hopefully apparent to them) humourous fashion. But I would never use a derogatory term for queer to another queer person who I didn't know. Context is everything.

    To be safe, I think straight people should avoid "gay" or "fag" unless they're talking neutrally about someone whose sexuality is known (or in the case of Tom Cruise, strongly suspected *grin*). It's just easier that way.

    As for the original anecdote, yeah, I think your friend needs to pick less loaded insults but I don't think he should feel like he should have to apologise 300 times. 100 would be enough. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. It really is all about intentions. For a time, my sister would describe a really bad movie or TV show or something as "so gay," but I just knew from looking at her that she wished she hadn't said it like that. It was just a bad habit, and her regret spoke louder than her words.

    Having said that, I would like to say that I really dislike the words "fag" and "faggot." Okay, so many people within the gay community like to use them as terms of endearment, and I think that's fine b/c their intentions are good. But I choose not to use them as such b/c every time I hear one of those words, I think of hate and meanness.
     
    #6 BaciListClostridium, Jul 9, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2005
  7. confusedkid

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    Perfect example: my gay big brother's bf and I were drunkenly singing along to Donna Summer and he walks by and says, "What am I gonna do with you two fags?" In that context, it's cute. :icon_razz

    Eww, please no... that freak is definitely one the straights can keep! (IMO, anyway :lol: )

    -CK
     
  8. goratrix

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    I think joey nailed it..... context is everything.

    However, I don't think straigh people should avoid using the words 'gay' or 'fag'... they are just words. With no meaning, except the one that we give them. I know it takes a lot od energy to avoid using the common society-established meanings, but it is possible. Furthermore, it is also possible to not be afected by what people say, specially when you know you are better than them, and you know you can crush them both with words and physically.

    It's actually quiet funny, when I loose control (not too often lately, luckyly) I tend to become really cold and sharp, and would belittle people arround me constantly, specially those who I dislike the most. And when I loose control, I never EVER hit anybody.... it's just not in my nature, or I'm not completely out of control... or my physical impulses are easyer to control than my mental ones. Because I can get really nasty with words, and that is usually something people are afraid of, because it's something hard to fight.

    If I'm stronger or faster or have weapons and thus I'm superior to you physically, you can always get a few buds and you'll overthrow me easy enough. But If I am smarter, wittyer (does that word exist??) and better spoken, there is no way you can win, I'll always be better than you at that, and no matter if you bring 100 monkeys with spoons to help you kick my ass, I will still be smarter than you.

    That is why I think that the only way we are going to get some respect, is if we all become what they fear the most: someone smarter, with a mind of his own.

    I'll stop this babble now... and look for some stupid game to play in Linux... seeyah
     
  9. nisomer

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    I agree that it totally has to be from certain context. I mean, I've always felt that fag and faggot were really mean words, and whenever someone says something like "you're a fag" or "don't be such a fag", I have always found it to be very insulting. But when someone says that with the word gay, it doesn't seem so insulting to me. "You're gay", "don't be so gay", things like that, it doesn't affend me as much. I don't know why...
     
  10. joeyconnick

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    You have a GAY BIG BROTHER?! Hello have you ever mentioned this before?

    But he IS really hot, and that just forgives everything, right? *grin* Well, I've always thought he was hot. I mean not like "sell everything I own to build a shrine to him" hot, but he's certainly attractive. Like I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers. (I would for talking about Scientology, however. :slight_smile: )
     
  11. Aaron

    Aaron Guest

    This is an interesting thread topic...

    Sometimes I have a real problem with the words people use. Sometimes I enjoy making straight people feel bad for using them. Sometimes I think its funny and joke back. Sometimes I shrug it off.

    In the first category, my best friend (straight girl) and a few of my close gay friends can walk up to me and say, "Hey, fag(got)!" That doesn't bother me. If a straight guy said that to me, I would be very offended. I think it's kind of like the word "nigger" that way.

    When I fisrt came out, my friends would make typical "that's so gay" comments, which I found amusing. Then they would feel really bad for it and apologize, and I would play that out a bit, just to drive it home that they shouldn't do it, despite the fact that iot doesn't offend me.

    I often play with it, sending it back. Some guy calls me a homo, I'll call him a breeder. But this is usually with aquaintances. A total stranger randomly called me a cocksucker a few days back at the bus loop. I said, "not yours!" and got on my bus. It didn't bother me, because he was a loser. Another time in my school cafeteria, it was pretty deserted, save a few guys at the next table, and about 6 gay guys/girls at my table. On of the guys at the other table yelled "OMG, that's so gay." I turned to my friend and said really loud, "OMG, that's so straight! That's just so fuck me up the cunt straight." The guys thought it was funny.

    Most of the time, if it's from some stranger I ignore it. It comforts me to know their ignorance and prejudices will probably end up causing them more trouble in the furutre that the comment causes me in the present.
     
  12. joeyconnick

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    omg that's priceless!

    :lol:
     
  13. confusedkid

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    LOL! Sry for the confusion. My gay big brother is how I refer to my really good gay friend of mine (actually, he's my first gay friend...) but he's (a lot) older than me! Yeah, so he (and later his bf) do stuff with me (not in that way. sickos.) and so he watches out for me and stuff, especially if we go clubbing. :icon_razz Hence, my gay big brother.

    -CK
     
  14. Jordano

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    Since coming out to myself and a few others, I realized how much my group of friends uses the word "gay" for stuff that sucks and whatnot. I mean I realized even I did it a lot, and now refrain from using it, cause I just feel uncomfortable using it now, I almost feel offended. And whenever someone else says that, I feel the same way, but shrug it off to not look obvious. I guess I never realized it before, but it's used a lot as a derogatory word here...hmmm...

    Course, if my group knew about me I'm sure they'd be a lot more sensitive, cause there aren't a lot of gay people, or at least open gay people, especially teens here in South Dakota, anyway that I know of!