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Words that resonate and experiencing grief

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brainwashed, Jan 6, 2021.

  1. brainwashed

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    I watched the interview with Berry Gibb of the Bee Gees on CBS's Sunday Morning (see link below) , last Sunday morning - 3 Jan 2021. Mr. Gibbs reflected on the loss of his two brothers and how he put his life in "lock down", his way of dealing with the grief of their deaths.

    The words lock down resonated with me. Why? Because I feel I and others here on ECs are grieving the loss of the gay life they never had when young. I grieve not having a boy friend in my teens. Not going to school dances and holding him close. Not having my first kiss with him. Not asking him to live with me.

    Queuing off Mr. Gibbs lead, he pushing forward in life, putting out a new album, I must find a way to push forward, and not let grief overtake me.

    The words most relevant to what I am saying are at 5:15 - 5:35 minutes into the interview.

    Link:
     
    #1 brainwashed, Jan 6, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2021
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  2. Adz6

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    Hello Brainwashed,
    I Read your post earlier and It has been on my mind all morning.
    I have led what I feel is a full life but there is only one thing that I feel is missing and that is to be held and kissed by a teenage boyfriend or dare I say it, any boyfriend. I also grieve missing those experiences and on a daily basis I wonder what it would life have been like if I had followed my heart instead of following societies expectations.

    it was easier earlier in life to keep the grief of missing out under control but now as an older man the grief/wonder is sometimes very hard to keep in check.
     
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  3. Mysteria

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    On one hand, I grieve not knowing when I was younger. Not so much high school as college age. My life would probably have gone in a completely different track then it did. But then, my life would have gone in a completely different track then it did. I wouldn't have my children. But I also wouldn't have the pain of a divorce and so many things, and I wouldn't be trying to navigate dating at 40 like I'm back in junior high, only with the internet instead of the lunch room.
     
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  4. Contented

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    In many ways I do grieve for not being able to understand I was gay when I was a teen. In retrospect I think it would have been so much better. I would have avoided many unhappy years pretending to be something I wasn’t. There is no question that it is much harder to come out after many years of denials. Certainly I would have missed somethings but in general being gay back then would have so much better in the long run.
     
    #4 Contented, Jan 7, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2021
  5. quebec

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    Hello All.....I have thought the same things as you so many times. My life would have been so different. I was out for about four years in college but then the tragic death of my boyfriend...he was far more than just a boyfriend, he was my soul mate...caused me to turn my back on my sexuality for the next forty years. However, as I look back I realize one thing that I missed was the curse of HIV/AIDS.
    ......David :gay_pride_flag: