so, the question was, how many days. how many days did i spend as an unhappy male? well, it was up to the day before my 50th birthday so simple math gives me, 18,249 days. thats a long time. so how many days did you spend living your inauthentic life?
Are you sure it's a helping exercise? It looks like ruminating on the sad aspects of the past. Anyway, the most intense questioning started around my 20th birthday, another round number So 7.300 days, round number, which is sadly inaccurate because I didn't consider leap years (>7.306) and the fact that birthday was in October (>7.224).
fair point. but i looked at it as, not so much, oh look what i suffered but wow look what i survived. im stronger than i thought.
I have almost always known, 9125 days, but I had never realised what it was called and I was not exposed to gay/bi/trans people until I was about 12 then I started realising I am different and I already kind of came out to my grandmother and she accepted it and was from the great depression era. She told my mom and my mom didnt take it well and was in denial and now it is more like her greatest fear and stuff so she makes my life hell. :/