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Will the Weirdness Pass?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Hrafn, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Hrafn

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    I'm out to my family now, and they've all been mostly wonderful. I finally settled on a name I like. I'm still getting misgendered like crazy, but some relatives and friends are being pretty consistent with my name already after about a month despite trouble with pronouns. My parents, on the other hand, who have known much longer can't seem to make the same effort although making their support of my transition known. That aside, I'm not entirely unhappy with the show of support others are giving me.

    While I like being Rhys now, it still feels really strange to hear people call me by my chosen name. Will this weird feeling pass quickly? Do I just need more time to adjust?

    I just feel like all should feel right with the world and I should feel happy and relieved. Coming out was a relief. But really, feeling mildly uncomfortable with my new name makes my self-doubts resurface. Doubt increases my anxiety level too which is all around not great.
     
  2. Flynn S

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    It took me a while to adjust to my name, especially with people who were close to me, like family members. I felt strange hearing it I think because I was embarrassed. Having people call me by a name I chose myself was sharing something deeply personal (as opposed to the impersonal feeling of being assigned a name at birth), and that made me uncomfortable. There was also a sense of guilt in that I was rejecting the name my parents had given me, and fear that because I didn't yet look male, I didn't deserve a male name. But eventually it just became normal and now I can't imagine being called anything else.
     
  3. Marss

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    I’ve listened to trans guys on YouTube say it took them a while to get use to their pronouns and chosen name but with time it felt totally natural to them. Maybe you feel uncomfortable because you sense others feeling uneasy and having to adjust to call you by he/him and your new name, it might not be you at all who’s feeling wired about! It might just take your friends and family time to get use to the real you. Best of luck
     
    #3 Marss, Sep 17, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2019
  4. BradThePug

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    It took me awhile to get used to it. After years of being called by my old name it took some time to adjust to being called by my new name. It also took some time to adjust to pronouns. It was really weird at first. As time went on and people started to remember them I became a lot more comfortable with it.
     
  5. Hrafn

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    This describes a lot of my feelings surrounding my name and pronouns. It’s definitely a lot of discomfort around the newness but also feelings of guilt for giving up my birth name.

    Thanks all for your input. Nice to know I’m not the only one to ever feel weird about this stuff. Your probably right I just need to be patient and adjust.