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Why is it men don't seem to kiss as good as women?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Username18920, Mar 24, 2020.

  1. Username18920

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    I've kissed a shit ton of women, I seemed to always have a knack for kissing, I'm a romantic type and usually have to like someone to get into it totally, but when I do I have been told by so many women that I kiss really well, not sloppy or all tongue jammed down your throat, I grew up watching Richard Gere movies so I tried to take my cues from him lol. Anyways it easy to gauge women, if they like it they'll keep doing it andnit leads somewhere in most cases if you do it right, if not they will let you know at some point and have a smoke or a break and you're done Sam!

    Now as far as guys go I've only kissed a few, so far all 3 were kinda tight lipped and didn't use their lips much, kinda in the air tongue swirling thing, no deep kissing or hungry lips squished into each other in a lusty passionate kiss. I've heard alot of women say their ex or whomever didn't know how to kiss like a sexy bastard and it made them feel a way. Just wondering if I'm meeting some of my ex's ex's? lol, I'm not trying to generalize, just asking guys who've kissed women most of their lives if they notice something may be lacking in the passion dept or is it just the luck of the draw 3 in a row kinda didn't do it for me. And fyi, I'm not going to stop kissing men over it!
     
  2. Destin

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    I've noticed this too. I'd say like maybe 10% of the guys I've kissed were any good at it, while more like 80% of the girls were. It's always mystified me too, and all I can come up with is that they have different focuses. Girls seem to like the more sensual parts like kissing more so maybe spend more time learning it, while guys just want to bang and skip the other stuff a lot more. It's fixable though, my fiance didn't know what he was doing originally but I've certainly fixed that and now he's awesome at it haha.
     
  3. gravechild

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    I don't think guys get much "practice", and even then, its treated as a means to an end. There's a subset of gay men who avoid things like kissing or eye contact. I've also read somewhere that women use kissing as a way to gauge their partner's genetics, or something...
     
  4. HM03

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    I don't have anything to add besides the thought never ever occurred to me lol
     
  5. Lin1

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    Not a guy but it's true that I could count the number of great kisses I have had with a guy on one finger while that same finger would be the amount of bad kisses I have had with women.

    I think personally that male have less adaptability in general which also translates in how they kiss. As a woman I adapt to who I kiss and no kiss is ever the same, the intensity, technique and whatever else is made to match the one of the specific person I am with but men seem to just kiss everyone the same, there is no reading body language or cues, no adapting to the specific person they are kissing. I hate it personally and it was such a turn off because kissing is a big part of what I enjoy (maybe more than sex itself).
     
  6. Mihael

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    Ah, definitely, there are more men than women who are absolutely awful at any sort of flirt, interpersonal or artistic skills. And men are more notorious for ignoring other people’s needs. I’m not into such people at all, so in the subset of people I kissed I don’t see the difference along the line of gender. I mean, maybe physically I’m into some of them, but that kind of behaviour turns me off later.
     
  7. Poofter

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    I am a passionate kisser myself. And never had a complaint from any of the women I was ever with. A few ex’s that I remained friends with after have told me they wish they could have my kissing back.

    That being said I too feel like most guys that I have dated don’t know how to kiss. It’s rough. Kind of smashing together. No be tender, make me want to taste you. Gotta use the lips and stop trying to fast forward to sex. Let’s work up to that...by the way I have also been told by several guys and a couple ladies (back when I was closeted) that I was “such a girl” when it came to being intimate. I just know what I like and rushing through it ain’t for me.
     
  8. Batman

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    I think it might stem from stereotypical gender roles, where men are meant to lead, and women are supposed to follow (barf).

    I feel like a lot of guys feel like they have to be really confident and sexual and lead the kiss, which ends up just being too much spit or tongue or mashing their faces against yours, etc. I feel like men are also expected to have a lot of experience, which I'm sure leads to a lot of nerves.

    This guy I've started seeing kissed like that, like my chin and cheeks would be covered in spit, it was really bad. But after taking the time to talk with him and show him how to slow down and read the room, he's become a really good kisser :slight_smile: Sloppy makeouts have their time and place, but they shouldn't be the default haha.
     
    #8 Batman, Mar 26, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2020
  9. Chizu

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    That's interesting. I've read that in general, women are genetically superior when it comes to reading body language, and men are essentially blind to it. There are exceptions of course, but it's a generality. Studies on body language between men and women often give interesting, and shocking results.
    For example, a fake smile versus a real smile. It's possible to learn the difference - real smiles move both the lip muscles and the eye muscles, whereas fake smiles neglect the eye muscles. Over 80% of women can tell the difference between a fake smile and a real smile, while the inverse is true of men - over 80% can't tell the difference.
    It gets even crazier from there. One study placed a dark haired, clean shaven man at a counter, and hid a blond man with a mustache underneath. When couples went up to him, the original brunet would excuse himself to pick something up on the floor, he'd duck under the counter, and up would come the different blond man. The results? The majority of women could tell right away the men switched, whereas the majority of men never even noticed.
    It sounds so crazy, it's hard to believe. I don't know where I stand, I normally get bad vibes when someone is being fake nice to me, so maybe I'm sort of in that 20% of men, but at the same time a lot of people can find me awkward.
     
  10. Mihael

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    Lol xD
     
  11. Ryu

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    So I went to this party last year, pretty wild, I had paramedics called for me, long story

    Anyway, I made out with a whopping one girl and at least 14 guys.

    Anyways, from my experience of kissing one girl, guys are better kisses.
     
  12. Chip

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    I have zero data to back this up, but if there's a sex-related difference (which I suspect, statistically, might not actually hold up), then my guess is that it goes to vulnerability... or, more precisely, the lack of vulnerability. Kissing is, for most people a vulnerable act. Interestingly, in "straight guy goes gay" porn, the guys that are genuinely straight often struggle the most -- are the most uncomfortable -- with kissing. They'll take it up the ass before they passionately kiss another guy. And I think that speaks to the emotional closeness that comes of being that physically and emotionally close to another person in that way.

    Now... there are plenty of crappy kissers who are women also. And I suspect it is in part the same thing.
     
  13. Pole star

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    What did you mean 'in that way' - was it the anal sex or the kiss?
     
  14. OGS

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    This hasn't been my experience. In my experience, men are much better at it. But that may be because I stopped kissing women that way at 21. People may just get better as they get older. LOL