Why are women attracted to men?

Biologically, it makes the most sense since men and women reproduce together. By that logic, it would be hardwired in most straight women, so they wouldn't question it. Not to mention that some women prefer masculine physical and emotional traits.

From an physical standpoint....I have no clue. Mainly because I find most men ugly or plain, and do not know what a hot guy is supposed to look like. I also don't like male genitalia or the mechanics of straight sex.

I actually do sort of understand it from an emotional point of view, though. Despite being a lesbian, I actually prefer talking to men and being friends with men (ONLY in a platonic way). This is because I think more like a guy and have more male interests. I prefer talking about video games, science, and nerdy stuff. I hate talking about girly subjects like fashion and relationships. Not all women are that emotional either, I am very unempathetic for a woman and most other women have complained about that, but It's hardwired in my personality. It's not that I don't care about others though, I'm just apathetic and prefer to give advice over comfort. I'm a tough love kind of person, but my friends enjoy me for that reason. So not even all women are the same. I admire some "mentally male" traits and can see the appeal in relationships, however...I am just way too turned off by male PHYSICAL features and hetero sex that it wouldn't work. So I tend to prefer women that are kind of tough and good problem-solvers, but I do have friends like that. So I can get it from a personality pov, just not from a physical or sexual one.

 

Even though im gay, I experience a LOT of aesthetic attraction to men (maybe even more than I do towards females) Really the only reason im gay is because I don't a penis anywhere near me. I honestly dont understand how penises could be attractive
But I do understand why people find man handsome, though I might not be good at explaining it.
Male features have a certain sturdiness and sculpt that woman don't have, and these features become more defined with age. Most people find man the most attractive in the 16-30s age range, because they keep a symmetrical chiseled feature. The reason people are attracted to these features is thanks to evolution, because it implies that the man is extremely well built for the wilds and survival and is of course a good mate.
As for why people are attracted to that emotionless arrogant personality, is because it implies toughness, and a confident , dont-give-a-shit personality.
However even though it is natural to be attracted to well built bodies and faces, media also plays an important factor in attraction. You probably realized that generations apart tend to be attracted to different things (Hair, style, skimpy-ness, etc.) It is because of what the media that people have an "Ideal vision" for what a man or women look like. This is why, fat man are more acceptable than fat woman, because media tends to have more fat man than fat woman, and media also gets after fat woman more than it does fat man.

But before I conclude this post, I just want to say that a lot of the stuff you said about man is mostly stereotype. And while it is true for a lot of man (I mean stereotypes are true for a reason) don't think that every man is going to be like this, because there are plenty nice and awesome man in the world.

 

Well, for me the appeal is in the genetics (not in a racist way!) and personality. I agree with you about the vast majority of those points, actually! When I date guys, I go for both looks and personality (when I date I look for serious partners, e.g. marriage and beyond and I have to consider what traits would be passed on to my kids...its an OCD thing XD), and if they are both attractive and genuinely kind and understanding (given the male emotional range of a teaspoon (thanks Hermione XD)) then they have appeal for me. Not saying I overly focus on genes- that would be really messed up if I did- but I do prefer the brains over the brawn. Given, I am biased, I prefer the more emotionally-driven men (not necessarily super effeminate or anything, just maybe the emotional range of a tablespoon? XD), but that's just me. I'm sure every girl/guy/other who's attracted to males has a different take on what the appeal is ^_^

Not meant to offend any guys/male oriented people out there with the teaspoon joke!

 

Hmm, I personally agree that there are more guys out there that I find unattractive physically/emotionally, and the chances a pinned against them, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to find an attractive guy. Like Creative mind said, whether someone finds men attractive in general depends on how your brain is "wired" when you're born.

Also, I relate with Creative mind in the sense that I actually like to hang out with alot if guys as friends, because I share more interests with them. And although I am emotionally more sensitive (which is more feminine I guess) I appreciate how many guys don't throw themselves/others into drama. I really can't stand superficial drama/gossip. But again, I can find female friends, just not as easily.

 

Well, I'm not a woman (and certainly not straight), but for me, it has nothing to do with protecting me, finances, or making children together. For someone who is only into women, it can seem confusing, but really... men are awesome, 'nuff said (just ask anyone who prefers male friends). They're straight to the point, competitive, and, well, have certain physical traits women lack.

Oh, and there's nothing wrong with being horny. If anything, more people need to be! It makes dating and sex a lot easier, ie "Want to fuck?" -> "My place or your place?" True, many are "ugly", but couldn't the same be said about most women? Most people aren't perfect tens. I do prefer younger men, true, but that might change as I age. I've met a few older guys who were in shape and had a certain "quiet confidence" many younger guys lack.

I'm also less turned off by penises than vaginas Yes, I know not all men have those, and vice versa.

 

I actually think that most guys age better than women, though that mmight have to do with them not making such a huge effort to look young when they clearly aren't.
I also don't think that sharing interests has to be an aspect of liking someone as long as you can find their interests interesting ( ....ok,bad choice of words) But, well...I find nerds talking about stuff I know nothing about really nice, so I might be biased.
I don't have the impression that boys are less emotional than women, rather that they express them differently.
Being more horny is just biology...so..nothing to say there.
Physically I prefer women over men, so it's the personality that makes the body attractive. ( Not really helpful there) ( also dicks look fucking weird)
I guess deep voices, strenghth and confidence can be attractive if the person isn't being a total dick (pun not intended)

Looking at some couples that seemingly fail completely at communication I can understand where you come from. Though that also goes the other way around ( teenage boys trying to figure out women, an age-old tradition)

So I guess: if I like someone as a person then that's that, even if they happen to have a penis.

 

It's perfectly fair to ask this question -- just as it is to ask the opposite question: Why are (some) women wild about men? And their equipment.

Just go read the postings on public discussion boards. Lots of penis-positive raves by newbies. A self-selected group, to be sure.

To the original question -- why? -- that's a very hard question. Maybe it's just like being a broccoli taster/non-taster/detester, which is just a single gene. Probs more complicated.

 

Big broad shoulders, height, physical strength and a general sense of vitality. Energy. I do love a nice dick, but I cant really break that down aesthetically beyond "me like". I also disagree strongly about men aging; women tend to fall apart rapidly after 30, whereas men grow into their looks and become more rugged, confident, etc. more of themselves. Women just look tired and worn out as they go up there.

I also like the emotional tenor of men. I feel emotions pretty strongly, and so do women, which makes them sort of... a chore to an extent. So quick to an emotional response it makes their emotions almost feel shallow. If you can cry over anything, what do your tears really mean?

Beyond that, men are interested in what im interested in, politics, philosophy, abstract discussions, science, math, etc. These arent literally male pursuits but they are male dominated pursuits, im naturally simpatico with men. All my friends were and have been men, my social group. I have a stronger cultural affinity to men then women, I dont understand the whole fashion crap, or makeup, or whatever it is that girls spend their time on.

 

Personally, I think straight men and lesbians are "allowed" to get away with more things, since women tend not to look at just the physical. They're not constantly starving themselves and plucking eyebrows, for example. Still, some folk actually ENJOY potbellies, baldness, and hairiness. I'm not one of them.

Another thing I forgot to mention is them being risk takers, so there's a bit more unpredictability and excitement. Men like to maintain a sense of independence, so you don't have to worry as much about them becoming too attached. The whole "bad boy" stereotype. There's something wild and untamed about men, and experiences with them can make those with women seem "boring" and predictable in comparison.

It's also nice that male bodies function relatively simple, and someone having the same parts would be nice, in its own way...

 

The smell is attractive.

I understand, I find few men attractive. They usually are not attractive from a sexual and romantic point of view. I'm not saying even the body, because I don't care for body hair one way or another, and a moderatley muscular man can be extremely attractive to me. This... muscle, you know... I find that to be a turn on. But many men are useless in that aspect, because they neglect their physcial side, like neglect their hair, clothes, healthy diet, don't care to look aesthetically and use cologne. They don't hit the emotional note when interacting either, which crosses out any romantic things going on.

In terms of interests, I fall on the masculine side, and I also think women have a tendency to being pointless and I honestly find many irritating for that reason, but I don't think it has anything to do with romance and the such. Most of my female friends are not straight too.

But if I meet a handsome guy who takes care of his physical appearance and is sweet (and isn't an asshole, I can't stand assholes), I'm head over heels for him. Moreso than into a woman. That would be a 10/10. With men for it's more like they are either killer attrative or utterly unattractive, and women rather keep a certain good standard, not swaying one way or another. And yup, there is something just exciting about (some) men, they have an edge... (not to say that a woman can't, some certainly do)

 

- Biology, two months of conception
- Personality, there are nice men out there, I like more feminine men
- If he abuses me I can send him to prison, it's harder to send a woman to prison ( and it's legal in the UK for a woman to force an adult into sex)
- I feel safer with men as I have been abused by a woman before

@Silverbird13 - love your harry potter reference

 

I definitely agree with not liking how men look. Even when I go to the beach (or even out on a summer day), I feel grossed out by the super hairy legs and armpits on display. I do like a little bit of body hair though, but I prefer minimal or light body hair (mostly in the pubic region). But yeah...agree that most men are ugly.

However, I don't think relationships with other women are perfect either. I have had a few problems with women and these are a few:
I have issues with: Passive-aggressive behavior, more likely to be dishonest, more likely to be emotional (which isn't always a good thing, since it causes too much drama), more likely to need validation and comfort, and so on.

Another issue, is that as a lesbian, I feel It's harder to find a genuine relationship. A lot of people want to use me for sex or experimentation, when I'm not looking for that, and I'm not comfortable going to bars or clubs (especially since they have the same problem). I also find it hard to get along with other lesbians, since most of them are too obsessed with their sexuality to the point It's all they talk about. Great, you're gay....but I don't really care that much to have a 24/7 conversation on it. I'd rather connect with interesting topics like writing, video games, books...whatever you're into. To be fair, straight women also do the same thing where they obsess over hot guys or their sex/dating life. It's a huge borefest on either side.

 

I have a problem with the bars too. I don't like bars and clubbing. I'm probably disinterested in short-term relationships too. I just try to flirt with girls I like around me, with whom I share interests, but that almost never works for obvious reasons. And the friends... are friends. And we don't see each other too often.

 

(Maybe a little rant here, sorry)

As a lesbian, I feel very uncomfortable with questions like these. Aesthetics are 100% subjective and have changed greatly over time, and attraction is not logical at all and for the most part can't be explained. Your sense of ugly is not objective. Ever seen someone's new boyfriend or girlfriend and wondered "what the HELL does she see in him?". I also find your description of men very generalizing and... mean.

I don't know. But I've always found that lesbians (and some gay men, but fewer) are too great at critisizing the opposite sex and I've always opposed it. I wouldn't go up to my best friend's boyfriend and ask: "Why the hell are you attracted to her? She's not as emotional as Maria, she's uglier than Sofie and she's just so arrogant. Sylvia is just so much better!".

I've also never understood how it can be impossible to understand that not everyone thinks like you.

Sorry. I just hate the general lesbian community's attitude towards men.

 

I agree, and I feel sometimes the lesbian community can be critical toward attraction in general. For example, I once said that I am not attracted to huge breasts and don't understand why some people sit and drool over them. I literally had three lesbians confront me and say that I was either in denial or somehow "not a real lesbian". How am I not a lesbian? Maybe I prefer smaller breasts or more petite girls. I never said the body part disgusted me or that I wouldn't touch it, it just doesn't do much to view it on a stranger. I could like them on someone we are dating because it becomes a part of her, but It's overall not a huge obsession. I've also felt that I had to hide my interests around some other lesbians. If I said that I really liked a male character, I am attacked and called bi in denial. Wtf? I never said I wanted to have sex with him, maybe I just like the character for other reasons. Why do I have to exclude men from my life to be gay?

I don't think the OP meant any harm though, so this definitely isn't an attack on her. I can understand why one would be confused if you find men unattractive (sometimes it even confuses me). So my rant isn't about her, but about the lesbian community in general. I feel that there's a lot of anti-male attitudes and it can make me a bit uncomfortable at times.

 

I feel like this is the unfortunate bi-product of the radical seperatist feminist lesbian community that bloomed in the 60's and died slowly, but surely. They made sexual, romantic and platonic attraction something political. You were not allowed to say anything positive about any men ever, and if you had serious fulfilling relationships with men (sex was okay, as long as it was only "a use"), you were shamed. Sex with women was welcomed, but the most important thing about being a lesbian at that time (even if you weren't a radical feminazi, you would most likely meet a fuckton of them at bars) was seperating yourself from men completely. In short: it sucked. I've talked to many older lesbians, and they all described as a nightmare.

 

I know so many straight and lesbian woman who constantly talk crap about males,... and it is hella annoying
I know one girl (Im pretty sure she's gay, but you never know) who is convinced that all man are just born dumber than women, she says that since men have the physical advantage, it makes sense that women would have the mental advantage. No matter how many times I tell her that not all men are dumb, she wont listen... makes me tempted to say "Well not all women are smart" right into her face
I also constantly hear women talking about how dumb men are, and how they cant take a hint, which also drives me crazy...

 

Um tbh I don't really get it either. I can't really talk but I know that some guys are more comfortable being emotional. Plus not all of us are irresponsible risk takers. I think there's a lot of social pressure on men to act like aggressive, careless blockheads the same way women are pressured to act submissive and overemotional, but some guys rise above it and I think it makes them better people. Growing up everyone expected me to like guys and I was simply disgusted by the concept, but now I can understand on some level why straight/bi women and gay/bi men find men attractive. I guess it must be like the opposite for straight women, it's just something instinctive and they can't imagine being with another woman.