Why are we different..

Hey everyone,, I'm a man who's attracted to other men since the beginning of my life, since child..ive tried my best and denied I'm into men for years and that hasn't changed me.. we understand each other but others don't. I've never had a male friend who's similar to me.. I've always wanted to get in a relationship with a man and couldn't find one and this is the reason why I've denied it.. women are everywhere but I know I couldn't ever get attracted to them as men.. men features and body is what I really always stare at. I don't really know what to do in my future.. how would I live.. don't blame me loving men, I couldn't change myself.. this was my issue since kid. Should I go back? I don't think anyone would be accepting my reality.

 

Go back to what? Being interested in women? I'm confused because when you say, "I couldn't change myself," it sounds like you couldn't be interested in women even if you wanted to.

 

I meant going back to where I ignored my feelings. Since no one understood. True, I'm not interested in women and wouldnt like to get in relationship with them

 

Yes, there are a lot of people who don't understand being gay. Yes, it might be easier for a man to find a straight woman, than it is for him to find another gay man. But you know what? You can't change who you are attracted to, not matter how hard you try. If it were that easy, everyone would be straight.

If the people around you would treat you differently based purely on who you like...well, then it's better to let them go. Your friends should support you no matter what.

Love can be hard to find. But don't give up hope. And don't ever think, even for a second, that you should ignore your feelings because of what other people think.

 

I seem to get many women. I don't accept them as I don't wanna hurt them later. I do care about women feelings. People around me doesn't know who am I. I act like a straight man for years and everyone thinks I'm straight. If I came out, many things would change.. everything I loved. I was single for a long time. I hope to find a man who can create a family with me.

 

This is something most straight people don't think about: gay is not a choice. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being gay, but those who are gay don't choose it.
However, what you want (a relation with another man) is possible and there's no reason for you not to be happy.
There are many other gay men who are looking for someone to love just like you.
As for meeting them, alas I don't know how to help you. There are we sites, clubs and bars for gay people but I have no experience about that (I'm still in the closet myself).
However, you shouldn't renounce your happiness IMO.
Best wishes!