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Why are so many people against teenagers having sex?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Destin, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. Destin

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    This has never made sense to me - it seems like a pretty common thing, at least in the United States, that parents try to prevent their child from participating in or even seeing anything sexual for as long as possible like it's some evil thing that should be avoided even though the parents obviously do it themselves.

    I'm not talking about adults having relationships with kids of course, but why is it considered such a bad and irresponsible thing for two 15 year old's to have an intimate relationship with each other? Yea I get the teenage pregnancy issues, but as long as they're taught about safe sex that really shouldn't be a problem - it actually makes it much riskier when they have to hide it because then they'd be afraid to have condoms in case their parents found them, and are more likely to do it in unsafe places like drunk at a party while vulnerable. If their parents were ok with it they could just openly have safe sex at home in a safe environment, which removes most of the risk.

    It seems like it would be a lot more healthy if people just accepted it as the natural unavoidable thing that it is. It could just be treated the same way as other social interactions - if the kid wants to bring a friend over to play video games cool, if the next day they want to bring a friend over for sex that's cool too.

    I say this as someone who was not just allowed, but actually encouraged to have a sexual partner as a teenager, and honestly it worked out fine so I don't know why other people have such issues with it.

    Am I the only one who feels this way?
     
  2. SkyWinter

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    I can see both sides of this. On the one hand as long as people are being safe, then it shouldn't be that big of a deal. However, I think people at that age are often times very irresponsible and make decisions, not just about sex, that wreck the rest of their life. A 15 year old generally isn't thinking about 10 years from now. Especially not when hormones are going crazy.
     
  3. BothWaysSecret

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    I agree. 15 year olds are not fully matured mentally, and are mostly hormone driven. They're irresponsible and not fully capable of handling all the consequences yet. Sex and sexual relationships should be carried out by those that have fully mentally matured, and are capable of understanding and accepting all consequences and responsibilities that come with sex.
     
  4. Destin

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    I understand this viewpoint, but there is one very large flaw in it. The part of the human brain that controls decision making and understanding the consequences of your actions doesn't finish developing until age 25. There is very little difference between that part of a 15 or 18 year old's brain because neither are even close to being fully developed - yet having sex at 18, 20, 24 are considered fine while 15 is not even though none of them have finished developing yet.
     
  5. Destin

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  6. SkyWinter

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    So you've answered your own question why so many people are against teens having sex. Because people who have finished maturing are compensating for the hormones.
     
  7. azzi

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    Hmmm.. if you're the parent, will you be ok for your kids to be having sex when they are 15? For me, I would rather have them enjoy their young life without having to add stress of being forced to mature because of possible consequences of having sex.. sure the girls may not get pregnant if they protected themselves enough but there will always be other things that should be considered... like studies maybe? Or their feelings might get too involved as they are young and they are not sure how to handle situations like that. I would rather protect my would-be (if i'm lucky enough to have) kids than make them go through all that. They could wait for few years, no need to rush. But that's just me.
     
    #7 azzi, Apr 11, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2018
  8. BMC77

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    I don't think this a question that can be given a quick, easy answer. Because so much depends on the people (specifically: the people against teenagers having sex).

    A major factor--as indicated above, including the OP--is a practical concern about pregnancy with straight teens. I'd also add that STDs could be a huge worry, particularly HIV, which is incurable, and a serious virus.

    I know these practical considerations are something that would be a worry of mine if I were a parent...

    Past that, there are people who disapprove, feeling "it should be saved for marriage!" In some cases, it may simply be someone who worries about the practical problems mentioned above.

    But in other cases there are people who have concerns related to morals. Many conservative Christians will say that you should wait for marriage, and will also say the only acceptable marriage is 1 man + 1 woman. There are a lot conservative Christians running about.

    Also I think there is still some influence from the Puritans in our society, and that may be reflected with attitudes towards teen sex.
     
  9. BMC77

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    After posting my comment, I recalled something that showed just how crazy the US can be when it comes sex and teenagers...

    Joycelyn Elders, Surgeon General in the early 1990s (during Clinton's presidency) suggested that maybe masturbation should be taught as part of sex ed.

    I doubt that she was thinking about schools showing movies that demonstrated exactly how to jerk off (although that movie would have made my high school sex ed class a lot more interesting than it was. LOL). She was thinking of basic information that would be pretty much like how everything else in sex ed was taught. In other words, basic information of some value, but deadly dry, and zero titillation.

    No matter. The conservatives got pissed off. I can't remember the full impact, but I do recall it hitting the news. I'm pretty sure there were conservatives who thought she wanted schools to actively teach masturbation. Perhaps conservatives thought there would be movies demonstrating techniques. Maybe they thought there would be in class experimentation. "Today, guys, we're studying jerking off! Please drop your pants and underwear, and grab the bottle of lube you'll find on your desk!". It was insane.

    End result: Elders lost her position. I think she resigned, but it was resigned under pressure.
     
    #9 BMC77, Apr 12, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
  10. Chip

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    We've arbitrarily decided, as a society, that 18 is a demarkation point between children and adults. But as you point out, brain development is still happening up to age 25. And both of those numbers are averages. So there are a handful of people who are probably quite mature at 16, and others who still don't have mature brain function at 28 or 29.

    So my guess is some combination of Victorian-era religious shame about sexual things, combined with trying to come up with a reasonable middle-ground as to what constitutes adulthood.

    I do think that 18 is probably a pretty good middle ground. Many people have developed pretty decent impulse control and can make reasonable choices by then. And to an extent, at least, the decision to have sexual experiences should probably be coupled with reasonable ability to make intelligent, non-impulsive choices.

    Of course, as I say, that's an average, so imperfect. But probably a reasonable starting point.
     
  11. MHJG

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    I'm 22 now. When I look back the 15-year-old me, I see a naive, immature kid. I guess 10 years later, I will see the 22-year-old me a naive, immature kid. haha...
     
  12. Biguy45

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    My first sex was with another boy when I was a teen. Looking back, while it is a pleasant memory, I didn’t know what I was doing and should have waited. Luckily, there were no scars or consequences from the experience but there could have been. Teenagers often act on impulse and not rational thought
     
  13. Shorthaul

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    Pretty much that. Never mind the fact that pre 1900 most people around 14-15 were getting married and working for a living. And even further back in history as soon as a women had her first period she was married off to who ever paid her father some arbitrary amount.

    But mainly it is the "moral" right that seems to think shaming or scaring people about sex will some how override hard wired biology.
     
  14. gravechild

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    They probably see them as being responsible and unaware of the consequences. Having a child or catching an STD forces you to grow up fast. You have your whole life ahead of you. I'm sure at some point, parents also worry about their kid being abused and taken advantaged of.
     
  15. BothWaysSecret

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    Most of that was due to people having shorter life expectancies, where people only lived until their 40s. Modern medicine came into play and people started living longer, so there's no longer a need to marry off your daughter or encourage procreation at such a young age.
     
    #15 BothWaysSecret, Apr 12, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
  16. Biguyjosh

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    I don't see anything wrong with teens having sex. I think some of it might be that you're a child until 18 and sex is considered something adults do not kids (as similar to how kids aren't supposed to drink until a certain age).
     
  17. Assassin'sKat

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    I think they are afraid they will get pregnant, or hurt. And the shielding thing, that might just be because they don't want to mess their kid up. Like if you get exposed to sexual situations too young, you could potentially get traumatized. I think maybe their fear comes from that? I've noticed that it takes time for parents to accept that their kids are not kids anymore and are growing up. So that's why they try to shield a teen who may be ready for that.