Hi Sunbird. I have had a similar awakening lately. Although for me it is for men. Like you I grew up in a family that was prone to homophobia. When I say awakening, it’s really a re-awakening. If I am truly honest with myself, as a teen my first “personal sexual fantasies” were exclusively homosexual in nature. Do you think that you would have had similar erotic thoughts about sex with a woman when you were younger and you have repressed these memories? I’m also in a sexually barren hetero marriage and lately I find myself having the same intensely sexual thoughts about being with a man.