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Who wants to talk about what makes us happy about being LGBT?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Apr 23, 2016.

  1. baristajedi

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    Hi there friends.

    Some days are so great, hopeful, and everything feels good and happy. Today's one of those days.

    In general, what I'm feeling today is a sense of optimism and perhaps a curiosity and excitement about the things I'm starting to learn as I get more comfortable and open about my queer identity. It's like waking up and seeing the world and everything feels sunny and bright for a bit.

    I tend to be very emotional, and I'm not sure I'm very good at articulating my feelings. But I suppose what I'd like to do is start a thread about some of the things that make us feel good and proud and happy about being queer.

    Does anybody want to share?

    I'm happy when I'm comfortable enough to flirt. Catch a woman's eye, smile and show interest. I feel a boost of confidence and a little flip in my belly.

    I love to see others around me talk about being lgbt in an open way. My little buddy (who I've known since she was a baby, and is now a teen), who my mother used to take care of, is out and proud of being bi. Yesterday my 13 year old nephew responded to my stepmom when she said to him "your table manners are not going to impress the girls" - he said "Grandma, and what if I'm gay?" The young people in my life are so much more relaxed about this, it makes me feel happy.

    I'm proud of myself every time I talk about being queer in public or share my story with a new friend.

    I feel happy when I realise how far I've come (even though I've got a long way to go).

    I may think of more, but I just wanted to start a positive thread. Who wants to share?
     
  2. Confusedmoose

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    I think that this is a really nice idea for a thread!

    I came out to 10 people the other day and ever since I have been feeling even happier than before. I have been able to hug my boyfriend in public and hold his hand with pride. I like how as a community we care about one another and it is nice to feel supported :slight_smile: I feel freer now than I ever have. I like that I can be myself.
     
  3. Birdie145

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    Hi, i feel i've know in the background if that makes sense for years. But its only now im divorced that im being more honest with myself, its a BIG thing for me to be going to a meetup. (So much homophobia from my parents and sibling/s).

    I feel very, very aware that given where we meet its a matter of time before someone i know sees me and works it out. Whilst part of me fears or maybe dreads it because my father is such a tyrant the "pull" to the real me must be stronger.

    I find myself looking forward to these get togethers more as time goes by, being honest with myself is big

    ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2016 at 08:49 PM ----------

    Hi, i feel i've know in the background if that makes sense for years. But its only now im divorced that im being more honest with myself, its a BIG thing for me to be going to a meetup. (So much homophobia from my parents and sibling/s).

    I feel very, very aware that given where we meet its a matter of time before someone i know sees me and works it out. Whilst part of me fears or maybe dreads it because my father is such a tyrant the "pull" to the real me must be stronger.

    I find myself looking forward to these get togethers more as time goes by, being honest with myself is big

    ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2016 at 08:49 PM ----------

    Hi, i feel i've know in the background if that makes sense for years. But its only now im divorced that im being more honest with myself, its a BIG thing for me to be going to a meetup. (So much homophobia from my parents and sibling/s).

    I feel very, very aware that given where we meet its a matter of time before someone i know sees me and works it out. Whilst part of me fears or maybe dreads it because my father is such a tyrant the "pull" to the real me must be stronger.

    I find myself looking forward to these get togethers more as time goes by, being honest with myself is big

    ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2016 at 08:49 PM ----------

    Hi, i feel i've know in the background if that makes sense for years. But its only now im divorced that im being more honest with myself, its a BIG thing for me to be going to a meetup. (So much homophobia from my parents and sibling/s).

    I feel very, very aware that given where we meet its a matter of time before someone i know sees me and works it out. Whilst part of me fears or maybe dreads it because my father is such a tyrant the "pull" to the real me must be stronger.

    I find myself looking forward to these get togethers more as time goes by, being honest with myself is big
     
  4. baristajedi

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    Wow! That's excellent, good for you!:thumbsup:

    This community also makes me feel comfortable, emboldened, encouraged, supported. And the LGBT community in general (everyone so far who I've reached out to in person in the LGBT community).

    I'm really happy for you and for feeling so free!

    ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2016 at 12:08 PM ----------

    It's such a good feeling to realise how strong you can be. It sounds like you are starting to learn that as you make these big steps. Good for you!
     
  5. angeluscrzy

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    I like seeing a guy and thinking they're hot, and not have it followed by a subconscious need to push that thought out of my head. I watch YouTube videos of Pearl Jam a lot because I adore Eddie Vedder and I can just lose myself gazing at his gorgeous face.
    I wear a pride bracelet and sometimes try to bring attention to it subtly when I'm near a good looking guy. And I plan on getting a tattoo to "symbolize my gayness" as well. I like the feeling of confidence as such things just seem like less of a big deal to do than I'd have considered them before.I guess these count since they make me happy to just own this part pf myself with no apologies.
     
    #5 angeluscrzy, Apr 23, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2016
  6. Katchoo

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    One of the things that I feel hopeful about right now.... I had given up on ever having a person to love and a partner in life, which kind of made me feel stuck, like life was kind of going to max out or be really monotonous, just go to work and come home, for ever and ever. I have a sense now that maybe I could be successfu at dating, sex, relationship in the future, all things that I have really been terrible about in the past. I have a feeling that things might get better.
     
  7. Adray

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    On a non-LGBT discussion website I frequent (it's music-oriented), I've had a fun realization recently.

    Within the past couple of weeks, I:

    1. Came out as bisexual to the group
    2. Described a minor modification I'd made to my main bass guitar

    The reaction to being bi was nothing but positive and supportive.

    The reaction to the modified bass was mixed, opinionated, a little controversial. LOL.

    It makes me feel good that society has progressed to the point where musicians care more about my bass than my orientation. Gives hope for the future.

    I have recently acquired a bi pride silicone wristband (pink/purple/blue) and an LGBT for Hilliary button. I'm looking forward to wearing them at the Pride Fest next month. I'm looking forward to being out more publicly. Lots to look forward to! :slight_smile:
     
  8. Dragonfairy

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    Probably the thing that makes me the happiest is the complete acceptance of my orientation by my children. My youngest, for example, is completely open about my being gay to all her friends and she's open about it, like, "My mom is a vegetarian" kind of open. Not a big deal, it's just what it is.

    One kid once asked her if she was gay. Confused, she said; "No, why?" The kid said something to the effect of "Well, I thought since your mom was gay, then you must be too." She just laughed and said; "You can't catch it like a cold, stupid."

    She's thirteen, folks. I really feel like I did something right. (!)
     
  9. angeluscrzy

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    That's great, my kids are the same way. I have 3 girls (11, 13 & 15) and they feel the same way about it. They've all told me how they've mentioned it in conversations with their friends before. It does give you that sense of accomplishment as a parent to see your kids be so open and tolerant.
     
  10. Confusedmoose

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    Thank you! I am very happy that I did it :slight_smile:
     
  11. SiennaFire

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    I feel content and happy that I'm able to love myself unconditionally as a gay man. I'm no longer scared of what it means to be gay.

    I'm glad that I can look at the male form and find it genuinely attractive without apology.

    I feel authentic when I'm with another guy because I'm expressing my genuine sexuality.

    I no longer conform to heteronormative pressures.

    I'm discovering who I really am as a person.

    I'm gay and proud :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
    #11 SiennaFire, Apr 23, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2016
  12. Lindsey23

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    I've come out to a few friends who were very supportive, and I mean they went out of their way to show it and make sure I was ok. It made me feel so loved and just...happy. If I wasn't gay and hadn't told them I wouldn't have known the depth of our friendship. So that's the best part for me.
     
  13. Lance

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    I see being LGBT as a wonderful thing and somewhat of a "gift." We are typically some of the most open, accepting(obviously, lol), and genuine people. But I also like being "different" and not mainstream, which extends to many different areas about myself as well. It's disheartening to see so many people struggle with it, as well as so many people against us for various reasons.

    We're all human and desire love, happiness, and a peaceful life like anyone else. We just happen to be attracted to the same sex, that is the only difference. I wish more people would see it that way. But I try not to let that get me down, I love myself and hope other LGBT people do as well. At the end of the day all we have is ourselves so do/be what makes you happy is how I look at it.
     
  14. OutofZCloset

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    There was a time where I couldn't even say the word lesbian or refer to my wife as my wife. But over the years all that internal shame or guilt has washed away. Coming across another gay/lesbian couple in public I smile. It's almost like we are In a secret club.
     
  15. SillyGoose

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    Things I like about being queer?
    Well I'm clearly great at fashion and I'm great at blood sacrifice ( it's a joke )

    I like playing music and I guess it gives me something to 'channel' into my music
    ( trying not to sound to cheesy or cliche )


    I guess I like having a community that I feel like I'm a part of
    ( still trying not to be cheesy but not sure if it's working )


    And I like how it has shaped me as a person.. In a way, I guess..
     
    #15 SillyGoose, Apr 24, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  16. baristajedi

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    I love reading all of these responses. You guys are all so brave and strong!

    Facing my fears and insecurities makes me feel brave and strong too. I know I haven't gotten to full acceptance yet but I feel very good about the person I am and being queer and coming out has shown me a lot of qualities about myself that make me proud.

    I love the community and friends that I'm finding.

    I love learning how loving and supportive my friends and family can be.

    Sometimes, when I've done something to express my identity or show my feelings with confidence, I feel free and alive.

    I love that I'm starting to censor myself less and less.

    I haven't gotten through all the rocky, scary things yet, but I know how rewarding each difficult part is, and I know my life has a lot of promise for happiness and fulfilment because I'm on a path to being the true me.

    Being queer really is a gift, as Lance says.
     
    #16 baristajedi, Apr 24, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  17. rachael1954

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    I LOVE this!!!

    :roflmao:
     
  18. Eveline

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    Thinking about it, I lived an extremely sheltered life, hidden away in a shell. Things feel so different now, I absolutely love the freedom of expression that is at the heart of the LGBT+ community. Everything is still a bit frightening but at least I know that I am not alone and once I am ready to I have somewhere where I can just go to be myself. I've met so many brave and wonderful people over my time here and the community is everywhere, a vibrant colorful community that makes you feel alive and free. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  19. SHACH

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    I love being able to gush over female celebrities without barriers. Finally I am not searching for this elusive male celebrity crush that I feel like I ought to have and I'm just obsessing over my girls to the max. And there are so many lesbian couples appearing on TV recently to obsess over too. I dunno, watching interviews and stuff from my fav female celebrities makes me feel so happy and finally I feel like I actually have the self-awareness and vocabulary to express it...

    I love being able to dress anywhere on the scale from seductive edgey lady to handsome gentleman without being bothered anymore if anyone thinks I look like a dyke. Because that's probably what I'm going for anyway. And I suppose its a lot less offensive when everyone thinks I'm gay when I actually know I look gay as hell before I leave the house. Before it was just confusing. I've actually got way more into fashion because I had this epiphany while accepting my sexuality that I could actually wear men's clothes instead of drooling over them in catalogues like I had all my life. I feel like I finally have an actual style, rather than just wanting to wear something generally in line with current fashion essentials to not be judged.

    As someone else said about channelling these feelings into music... its all made me much more expressive and emotional. Much more emotional because I guess with an open mind I realised that I could get quite emotionally invested in girl crushes. And not only has this developed me as a person, but yeah it's developed me artistically. Particularly in my songwriting. Also this feeling of freedom of expression has made me feel more confident at times... but I'm not fully out, so sometimes I do reel it back, but mostly I don't really care if most people work it out so... yeah, I'm just struttin around.

    I don't have much experience flirting or anything much.. but yeah I think this boost in confidence and awareness of what I really want has got me a bit more attention. From both sexes tbh. I still can't decide whether I want both or just girls tbh haha.

    Just being able to consciously appreciate females. You know, actually think about what I like about their bodies... what I want to do with them... even just what it is that makes me like this girl I saw.
     
    #19 SHACH, Apr 24, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  20. DancingGirl

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    For me. The feeling of family. When I come out to someone in the community their love and support is automatic. Even though I am still married to a man and not completely out yet. Their kind words and support give me peace knowing they are all there and are excited to introduce me to others. No judgments about if I am sure or questions about why I waited so long. Just words of encouragement for a happier life.