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When to come out??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ry101, Feb 13, 2018.

  1. Ry101

    Regular Member

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    Okay so soon enough I'll be going to college and now I can't help thinking about if I should come out to my parents because of it. I honestly just want to come out because I'm tired of feeling ashamed and guilty for keeping this "dark secret" but I'm also scared of how they'll respond because they're christian traditional parents. Because of this I just don't know if it'll be better coming out before or after college. If I come out before then I'm afraid they'll keep me from going to college, and if they choose to not support me then I'd rather know before hand that I'll have to work A LOT and put myself through college. If I come out during college I'm also afraid they'll pull me out and bring me back home or just stop supporting me as well leaving me lost and not know what to do at that time. I could also wait until I graduate college but to be honest I don't think I could handle keeping this in for four years if not more. It's gonna be hard either way because they love me and always talk about how proud they are I turned out the way I am and how I always work hard, so me telling them I'm gay will just disappoint them and shame them so much, which will break my heart because I just want to make them happy. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking too much but I just need to vent. Anybody have any advice?
     
  2. Joe2001

    Regular Member

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    Not out to family myself, but before you do come out, test the waters by asking them about their thoughts on some LGBT issues. That should gage where they are at.

    I'm sure some more experienced folks will have more to say about this. Best of luck.
     
  3. I'm gay

    Full Member

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    I think you need to do an extremely honest assessment of how likely your parents would actually cut off support if you came out to them. You need to get past your fears in order to be realistic. If you really believe there's a good chance your parents will cut off support, then you should wait until you complete college before coming out to them. You need to give yourself the best shot at a good life, and your education is the most important component of that.

    Most parents do come around and accept their gay children. Some do not. Only you know your parents well enough to assess what they are most likely to do.

    Good luck! :gay_pride_flag: