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When people assume your sexuality

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AJ56, Aug 5, 2015.

  1. AJ56

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    Doesn't this just drive you crazy? I hate it when my stepdad (who doesn't know I'm gay yet) talks about women in front of me. What if I like men?

    I understand that being straight is the norm, but do straight people never consider this? It's always a possibility. It's so annoying when people assume your sexuality!
     
  2. Simple Thoughts

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    I have the opposite problem actually.

    People just assume I'm gay and act and talk to me as if I am.

    Since I'm bi...I guess it's kinda okay, but at the same time it's a bit frustrating ^^"
     
  3. Eiji

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    Yeah, that's how it is for me as well.

    However that annoys me as well is when I was female friends that just treat me like "one of the girls" Which annoys me to no end as I am not a girl.
     
  4. AJ56

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    This is equally just as bad. Just because a guy is feminine doesn't make him gay.
     
  5. Simple Thoughts

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    I actually enjoy that when it happens honestly X3

    ---------- Post added 5th Aug 2015 at 09:26 PM ----------

    Yeah it does get a little offsetting.

    I dunno why either really. I mean I have long hair, but I didn't think I acted overly feminine or anything. Oh well.
     
  6. AJ56

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    Just another problem with bi erasure
     
  7. Simple Thoughts

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    I mean in the sense of they assume gay instead of bi, sure, but why do they assume "Not straight" in the first place?

    Speaking in statistics your safest bet is to assume straight given that you have like a high 80's-low 90's percent chance of being correct.
     
  8. justin88

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    Everyone assumes I'm straight. I don't mind as I don't really advertise my sexuality
     
  9. AJ56

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    Well I don't publicly advertise my sexuality either, but it still drives me crazy.
     
  10. SabreBear

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    People have usually assumed that I'm into girls. But then again I've always been a crossdresser, and have more masculine features. (Which will be good when I start actually transitioning I suppose.)
     
  11. justin88

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    To each his own. :slight_smile:
     
  12. Honest4You

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    People tend to assume I'm straight but I'm pretty much indifferent to it. I do get really annoyed when people go on these wild witch hunts to identify every gay guy they can spot based on stereotypical characteristics though, and gay men themselves are sometimes guilty of doing it a swell
     
    #12 Honest4You, Aug 5, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2015
  13. Steele

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    It pisses me off to no end when people just immediately assume I like women, and I honestly think it does more harm than some people realize.

    It's annoying and it makes correcting the person making the assumption more awkward than it needs to be, but in addition to that, when you have people telling you from day one that you're going to like the opposite sex and just assuming that you're going to grow up and like someone of the opposite sex, it makes people who turn out to be something other than straight feel like they're failing to meet society's expectations, which in turn just causes feelings of shame and disappointment with themselves for feeling their attraction. Additionally, by straight-up ignoring the reality that non-straight people exist, you're just creating an environment where being anything but straight is considered "deviant," "weird," "unusual," etc., which just breeds even more heterosexism and homophobia.

    And I've heard so many people say that they just don't care and will just assume that people are straight by default because they'll be right 90% of the time. Think about that, you really fucking think that a few seconds of convenience on your part is more important than possibly years of shame, disgust, and feelings of inner turmoil for literally millions of people out there? I think that says a lot about the types of people that these individuals are.

    I do not think that anyone who makes these assumptions is a bad person. I mean hell, I used to think this way too, and I get that 90-ish percent of the population is straight, so it's a relatively safe assumption to make. But that doesn't change the fact that it's an extremely harmful assumption to make to the 10% that isn't straight. So while I don't blame anyone for thinking this way initially, I do blame people who make no effort to change their way of thinking once it's brought to their attention.
     
  14. Indigos Star

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    People who have me added on Facebook even think I'm straight. And cis.

    Excuse me while I die of laughter- I'm so flamboyant that

    Well, I'm bad at analogies, but I'm hella flamboyant.
     
  15. HM03

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    If it's one passing comment, I don't care.

    But if someone goes on and on sexualizing females, or repeatedly is trying to get me ask a girl out, then it's extremely annoying. It shit you not, in highschool, these few people tried getting me to ask this girl out for SEVEN months. Glad to be out of there, and where people actually mind their own business :grin:
     
    #15 HM03, Aug 5, 2015
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  16. Honest4You

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    I'm guessing you were in the closet when this happened that you just did not tell them straight up? :lol:
     
  17. Randomcloud

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    Eh, I'm used to people assuming I'm straight. It doesn't bother me that much /but/ if I then tell them "actually I'm into girls" and they go on and on with comments like "no way" "you don't look like a lesbian" etc...that's when it gets annoying haha
     
  18. Van

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    Yeah, I hate that! If someone who I'm not out to asks me about girls, I just don't answer.
     
  19. AJ56

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    I completely agree with you on this. This is exactly why I felt weird when I first noticed that I had an attraction to men. These societal expectations make you think that your attraction to the same sex is "wrong", "unnatural", or "sinful". It ticks me off. Same sex attraction is just as natural as opposite sex attraction is. Both homosexuality and bisexuality exist in nature. It's ONLY humans that would have a problem with it. Only humans are capable of being homophobic/heterosexist.
     
  20. MyLittleWorld

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    It's annoying. I sometimes let it be when they assume I'm straight, but then they find out and go like ''you look so straight, you don't look like someone who likes girls, like, noo way you are a lesbian.''

    No matter what I do, or how I look like, they will assume what they want, and think what they want. I can't do a thing about it, I have to deal with it. There are people who avoid assuming, don't we forget them.