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When did you "know" your orientation?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by GhostDog98, Jul 12, 2020.

?

What age?

  1. <11

    13.2%
  2. 12-13

    13.2%
  3. 13-14

    13.2%
  4. 14-15

    7.4%
  5. 15-16

    2.9%
  6. 16-18

    5.9%
  7. >18

    44.1%
  1. Shorthaul

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    13 when had sex with an older boy even though I had a sort of girlfriend at the time. But there isn't a set age to figure it out, some of us found out early or too early and some later in life.
     
  2. Kevins1197

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    I’ve always sort of known I was attracted to boys growing up, 11 when I really felt that tingly feeling around other boys but 17/18/19 when started admitting it to myself.
     
  3. Canterpiece

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    I voted 13 / 14 in the poll.

    My first crush was when I was 11 but I tried to ignore that and push it to the back of my mind. Then, when I was 12 / 13 I started questioning and came to the conclusion that I was bisexual and I came out to my best friend at the time. However, the label didn't seem to fit quite right.

    A few days before my 14th birthday, I got into a few conversations about the subject. People kept asking me how it was possible that I just didn't know if I was bisexual or not. Unfortunately, the wrong crowd overheard one of these conversations and they were not happy. At first, it started small. Exclusion from group discussions. However, it escalated. On the day before my 14th birthday, a group of preteens and teenagers ganged up and physically attacked me along with hurling around homophobic insults.

    I didn't tell my parents about it at the time and did my best to hide any form of injury or pain. On my 14th birthday, my mind had all these thoughts swirling around in my brain. I was spat at by a friend of the attackers on my birthday.

    Earlier in the day when I was swimming in a pool, I was questioning what to make of everything. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that I definitely liked girls. However, I also realised that I don't have any interest in guys and that I could just be gay rather than bisexual. I saw one of the bullies looking down on me from a balcony and I felt a sense of dread. There was a lot going on that day, emotionally speaking.
     
    #23 Canterpiece, Jul 25, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2020
  4. Robyn mac

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    When I was in my late teens to early 20'stages I was hit on by many men. I always turned them down thinking I am not gay. It was'not until age 56 that I came out as bi. Funny how they knew so long ago. I say bi because my girlfriend got me to come out. Buthe now lean more as gay
     
  5. BlueMonday

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    I've always known.
     
  6. Contented

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    For me it was as I hit my early 50’s. Now in retrospect I see clear indications I was gay most
    Likely from my teens. It took me that long to figure it out. As they say better late than never!
     
  7. GayAzanian

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    I don't ever remember being attracted to girls. I generally felt like I was obliged to try or desire to be in a relationship with a girl. But I don't recall being physically or romantically attracted to a girl. I did have strong emotions toward some of my male friends before turning 13, but my understanding of romance was not developed enough to decide whether this was love or not. However, when I was about 13, I discovered a video on my dad's laptop where a man and a woman were having sex. When I saw that video I knew for a fact that I was gay and that I was bottom. Not only did I have no regard for the woman whatsoever, but I had a sense that the guy in the video was the kind of guy I wanted to date and become sexually entangled with.
     
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  8. Loves books

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    Thought it was straight at 12. The ages of 13-17 I either thought I was bisexual or lesbian I knew I liked girls but I wasn’t sure about boys. At 17 I knew for sure that males were not for me. At that age I finally had the epiphany that the girls that I had ‘admired’ since childhood were actually crushes.
     
  9. meisHere

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    So here's me.
    Around 5 years old and I really did not care. I just knew and stayed quiet because subconciously, I felt like it is not the most importat thing. ( ^ω^)
     
  10. wormsign

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    I was never interested in guys. I remember pretending to like some boy in middle school to fit in with the group of girls I hung out with. Truly excruciating. My first real butterflies were around a girl I “admired” in high school. Have never felt those butterflies around a fella yet, but I have come to at least appreciate few in my adulthood.
     
  11. BothWaysSecret

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    Figured out I was bisexual a little after I graduated college.

    Looking back there were signs for years before that point, but that's when everything clicked.
     
  12. Destin

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    Around 21. It was a whole new world, and suddenly guys started looking less like competition and more like snuggle buddies.
     
  13. Chierro

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    I don't think I really knew what it WAS until middle school, but I remember in 4th or 5th grade when we had "the talk" at school about puberty and stuff and I was weirdly fascinated with the diagrams of male genitals...and then decided to start doing my own personal research.
     
    #33 Chierro, Aug 11, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2020
  14. Nightlight

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    Wow I thought I was in the minority when I voted 18+. There were signs that would put me in a bisexual category before adulthood. After discovering and seeing more of those signs up to today, I think it's fair to say that I am bi now.
     
  15. EmilyWrite

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    I'd say some time around your teens if you're aware of the concept, but it could be any age as many people discover it when they are older due to what they were told growing up. I started to notice patterns when I was in my early teens and found a label that accurately described how I was thinking in this area in my mid teens.
     
  16. RD Spencer

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    Before my teenage years I always felt like my family was comparing me to an older flamboyant cousin which everyone thought was gay. Even I thought there was a lot of similarities between us. I really didn’t know what it meant to be gay at that age but my family had nothing but negative things to say about gay people. The mention of this cousin name would bring on a barrage of homophobic insults.

    In my early teens is when I realized I was having sexual desires and fantasies towards other males. I just held my head in shame and thought to myself that I must be completely gay. As time went on I found that girls were also in my desires and fantasies, so this had me thinking that I couldn’t be all that gay. Ever since then I have always questioned myself and was back and forth on which direction I wanted more.

    In a nut shell, deep down I have always known that I was not straight, but was never willing to label myself. Never did say anything to the family because of their behavior, sadly not even to a sister who moved over a state then came out as a lesbian.
     
  17. Songful

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    Canterpiece, I’m so sorry that happened to you! That’s awful!
     
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  18. Songful

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    Based on what you wrote here, I can understand why you didn’t want to label yourself and why you don’t feel comfortable sharing your bisexuality with your family members. (I’ve only told my husband, so I understand.)

    Just remember, you don’t have to tell anyone that you’re bisexual unless you want to and are comfortable doing so. It’s nobody’s business otherwise.
     
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  19. Awydd

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    I knew something was different when I was about 13 and I just wasn’t having the same experiences like everyone else. You know it’s the story of :the I thought I was broken until I met people like me.

    When I moved out into a city and met my closest friend. They sat me down and explained demiromantic go to me as she needed to tell someone, and it just clicked for me ?? I was like 19 at the time....
    The other stuff I realized maybe about a years later. I look back and it’s so obvious, but I try not to beet myself about it. As there is multiple factors go play into it.
     
  20. QuietPeace

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    I picked over 18. I knew I was different well before 18 but I am still not SURE of my orientation and I am almost 60.