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What's the earliest inkling you've had about your sexuality?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tre, Dec 8, 2017.

  1. Tre

    Tre
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    When I was seven years old I found out it was possible for two women to get married I thought it was so cool. I couldn't shut up about it. I didn't think much of that until I was twelve and not really into guys.
     
  2. taken

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    When I was probably 9 my mom was watching a TV show, and I asked what it was about. She told me it was about a lesbian couple and explained to me that a lesbian is "a woman who loves another woman like mom and dad love each other." I already knew this from kids at school and such, but when I heard her say it, for some reason I could never get that though out of my head. I had crushes on boys in elementary school but nothing serious, I dated guys in highschool but always broke up because I just wasn't interested in them romantically. I didn't think much of it till I was engaged to a guy and realized that I was basically only in it because we were each others firsts. But I still wasn't romantically attracted to him. When that broke off, I still dated guys and tried to ignore the lesbian thoughts till I drove myself into a deep depression looking for the acceptance and love that I could never find. Finally, accepting myself, dating women, and coming out at 23 or 24.
     
  3. Secrets5

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    I was 7 and had a crush on a girl in my class.
    I was 14 and had a crush on an older male 3rd cousin.
    I was 17 when I first was bothered to care about the idea of dating.
     
    #3 Secrets5, Dec 8, 2017
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  4. Creativemind

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    Age 7 when I crushed on girls and wanted to kiss them.
     
  5. BiDragon

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    I was 11 and I just kinda felt like I wasn’t straight. I guess it was because I was unconsciously crushing on a girl.
     
  6. Necrose

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    In high school, as my story so often comes to mention. Don't know how I knew about homosexuality before, but I did and it it felt wrong to me that two people of the same sex should be like my parents were. I had a live and let live attitude about it, so never said a bad word about it, but that wasn't how I rolled. As I grew older, I became more accepting of not straight orientations, and it was my freshman year I realized I might like guys in that way at all when I started thinking some guys I hadn't gone to school with all my life were kind of attractive. The rest, as the phrase goes, is history.
     
  7. quebec

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    Tre....Somewhere between 8-10 years old I remember watching some boys play basketball and I can remember not paying hardly any attention to the game because I was so focused on the boys! ....David
     
  8. bruh

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    14 or 15, started developing feelings for one of my friends
     
  9. Glitters

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    5th grade, there was a new student at school. I thought she was a boy at first and had a total crush on her, but even after learning she was a girl, I was still smitten.

    I do remember being disappointed she was a girl though, because I thought that meant I couldn't like her. (I guess I didn't realize girls could like other girls, lol.)
     
    #9 Glitters, Dec 21, 2017
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  10. GlassWalls

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    When I was two years old I fell in love with this 16 year old who was in a play with me. She was a fortune teller in the play. When I was around 6 years old I was in the car with my mom and my sister and I told them that every year I had a "favorite woman" and I said doesn't everyone have that? And they both said no. Then my mom told me not to tell people that because they would think that I was something that I was not. Then she changed the subject.
    I feel like if she had told me that there were people who were attracted to other women my whole life would be different. Instead I spent a lot of time "trying to not look like I was a lesbian" and I didn't let myself realize that I was and that that was okay. My mom isn't even super homophobic, it's just that she felt like gay was for "other people" and not "us". It was definitely a confusing message as a child.
     
  11. jam93

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    I can't remember how old I was, but it wasn't long after I started masturbating (so early teensish?). At the time I was afraid my parents would find out if I looked up porn online, so I would mostly just google stuff like "hot women" or "girl in bakini," thinking that if they saw the search histry and asked I could claim I wanted an image to practice drawing or something (ah, dumb teen logic). Anyway, something I googled, not sure what, came up with some pictures of men too, and I ended up clicking on one, then another in the suggestions and so on till I was done. At the time I wrote it off as just being a horney teen who could masturbate to anything and pushed it out of my mind. Kind of wish I hadn't honestly, maybe if I had thought about it some more I would have come to terms with being bi earlier.
     
    #11 jam93, Dec 21, 2017
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  12. poetrycat

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    In grade 8 I think? I had a massive crush on a girl. But I also knew I liked boys. I don't remember if I knew bisexuality was a thing at that point? But I do remember I was quite confused about my sexuality for a short while before I realized it was a possibility!
     
    #12 poetrycat, Dec 21, 2017
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  13. Niagara

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    I didn't actually realize I'm not straight until a few months ago but...

    In hindsight, the earliest I remember was when I was 13 or 14 my male best friend would show me porn on his phone sometimes (I had no access to nudity of any kind at home so he was trying to help me out) and one day he said he got hard watching it with me and was going to the bathroom to masturbate, then invited me to come with him, so I did. We went into separate bathroom stalls, he put the phone with porn on the floor between them so we could both see it, and we masturbated rather loudly together. I really wanted to look over the stall and watch him doing it but was too afraid, so started thinking of him instead of the porn, but I didn't recognize that as a gay thing at the time I just thought I was a horny teenager.

    That same friend ended up showing me his penis a couple months after that as a "let's compare sizes" type of thing he wanted to do, and that was an awesome day for me, but again I didn't recognize it as gay. Sadly I lost contact with him completely at the end of that school year due to moving, but now I realize he probably had the same feelings and that could have ended up being pretty fun for us both if we had recognized it sooner. Oh the regrets....
     
  14. FragileVampire

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    Oh gosh, the absolute earliest was in third grade I sent a note to a classmate saying how pretty she was. I didn't think of it as strange or different.
    But then she told everyone and I was bullied quite a bit because of it.
     
  15. seeastar

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    In kindergarten, there was this fifth grade girl who used to help out my class and I remember that I thought she was the coolest person I had ever met. I realize now that I had a total crush on her. This is the earliest sign that I can remember.
     
  16. NickiFire

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    In fifth grade I went to a summer camp and met a girl that was absolutely gorgeous. We exchanged numbers, and to this day we are friends, but I remember feeling guilty and confused about the way I felt towards her back then. I realize now it's because I had quite the crush.
     
  17. Laughsalot

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    I was 12/13 and developed quite a large crush on my teacher. Kept convincing myself feelings were just admiration....I "admired" quite a few women after that too. lol
     
  18. Jackie Ray

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    I always knew it and knew it was okay to be gay. I also knew at the time it was unacceptable, so I kept quiet about it. I was living a half life and it affected my ability to make friends. I remember it was about 2006 or so when I felt like gay men were really starting to get some support from the public. I moved in 2008 and came out of the closet in my new town. In 2009 I met the people who would become my best friends.
     
  19. Jackie Ray

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    I remember crushes on way older boys too.
     
  20. Loves books

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    Since I was about 5 I "admired" girls. Didn't have a clue what it meant until I was about 15.