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Whatr is your opinion on "saving yourself" for your future spouse?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Kodo, Mar 16, 2016.

  1. Kodo

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    What do you all think about saving your virginity for your future spouse? Do you think there is any significance to this? Would you, ideally, prefer both you and your lover to be virgins upon marriage or does it make no difference?

    I'm interested to see your opinions...
     
  2. Browncoat

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    I have a feeling my opinion might offend some of the more religious individuals on this forum.
     
  3. Ram90

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    I used to be like this. That I would want to be a virgin in all ways till I get married and would want my Spouse to be the same.

    Then I found out my Sister had several boyfriends and "did it" many times already in secret. I was forced to re-think my opinions after I had a heart-to-heart about it with her.

    No I feel like I want my first time to be meaningful, it may not neccesarily need to be with my future spouse, but shouldn't be a casual fling. And I no longer judge people on it around me (since then). I practice celibicy currently but don't advocate it or expect people around me to understand and do the same. I'm open in my thought.

    So for those who plan on saving themselves, good for you. That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. For those who don't believe in that, it is your opinion too.
     
  4. Euler

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    I think it might be even harmful to purposely save yourself for the marriage. Sex is a big deal in most marriages. And sex is a lot about chemistry. What if sex with your partner turns out not to be that satisfactory? Wouldn't it be better to kind of see if that works out before getting married? I mean I'm not saying you should not marry someone just because the sex is lousy but have do most people actually consider this possibility and be willing to live with it.

    I'm not saying that people should have sex around but rather than that if you consider someone as a strong candidate for marriage then it might make sense to try that aspect of the married life before actually getting married.
     
  5. Calf

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    I don't think you should deny yourself anything if it isn't doing anyone any harm. What if you waited for the right person and then the relationship abruptly ended? Wouldn't you feel cheated?
    Imagine never eating fruit until the perfect apple comes into your life. When it does you might love it, you might hate it but either way wouldn't you be always thinking that maybe you should have tried banana's or kiwi or kumquat as well?!
    It isn't the waiting that makes the sex amazing it's the special person you're doing it with so it doesn't matter how little or often you did it before, it would still be as significant. The main thing is to do what makes you happy, comfortable and safe.
     
    #5 Calf, Mar 16, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2016
  6. baconpox

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    Because I'm trans, I'm kind of terrified of getting pregnant, so I definitely won't do anything until I've had a hysterectomy, which will be quite a while from now--and since I have to disclose, casual hookups aren't really my thing.

    Personally, I'd like to wait until marriage because there are risks that come with it (say if my partner was lying about an STD), and I don't want to be flippant about those risks.
     
    #6 baconpox, Mar 16, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2016
  7. RawringSnake

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    Here is the full range of my nuanced opinions on the subject:

    [​IMG]
     
    #7 RawringSnake, Mar 16, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2016
  8. Michael

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    Pffffffffffffffff...
    No... Hell no... Give me the hot stuff right here and right now, life is too short for that crap of waiting...
     
  9. Aerin

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    Personally, I am not planning to wait until marriage. I am also not the kind of person who is comfortable with one night stands. I'm not interested in sex unless the emotional connection and mutual trust is there.

    But if religion is a huge part of someone's life and identity, I think it is perfectly fine to want to wait, and to wait for someone with the same values.

    As long as we aren't condemning each other's choices, then I don't see a problem with either perspective.
     
  10. blueshadedsoul

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    It doesn't really hold any meaning to me. I'm not even into the idea of getting married anyway.

    I also respect that some people might choose to wait, but when it comes to significance I completely agree with that^
     
  11. XenaxGabby

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    To me, waiting until marriage is all about religion, and I am so not religious. But I do believe in waiting for someone special.

    My mom's views are quite interesting though. "You wouldn't buy a car without driving it first."
     
    #11 XenaxGabby, Mar 16, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2016
  12. wolf of fire

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    Marriage is meaningless to me so unless my partner wants to I won't marry. I'm a virgin and am waiting for someone special for it, I may have found her I may not, I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that they are special.
     
  13. HM03

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    I CAN NOT picture my mom saying that ahaha :lol:

    Until marriage not so much, but I feel as though I'd wait longer into the relationship than most guys would :slight_smile:
     
  14. Cedar

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    Wouldn't it suck if you waited until marriage for sex just to realize how incompatible you are sexually with your partner? If you want to wait until marriage, good for you. Though personally, I don't think I'll get married so I don't really see the point of waiting.
     
  15. Spartan 117

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    I come from a very religious background and know people who didn't have sex until they were married. They seem happy enough!

    I didn't share their religious views, so I didn't feel bound by that idea. Plus, at the time, I wasn't entirely sure if gay marriage was going to become legal in my lifetime and had no intention of remaining celibate forever. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    To each their own, I say. :slight_smile: I really don't feel any judgement one way or another.
     
  16. KarenLyn

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    To wait for the right person to be your first, yes... Who knows if you'll ever get married then what? If they're someone special or even just really hot and you can't wait... I'd say enjoy!
     
  17. Secrets5

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    I'm not sure I ever want to have sex, but if I did I would save myself for the person I would want to spend the rest of my life with; married or not.
     
  18. gravechild

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    I can respect their decision, even if it's not for me. The only possible issue would be if I were to somehow become involved with such a person?
     
  19. BelleLey

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    I'm not a religious person and i think it's safe to say that it is really rare in France to have someone do that. These days it's not realistic to expect that from people and i don't see the point personnaly (though i respect those who do). Sex should be experienced before mariage at least just to see if you're compatible.
     
  20. alexandr

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    I'm not religious and don't particularly care about saving myself for any partner I might marry, nor would I care if they did so for me or not. It's a personal preference for every individual.