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What would you tell teenage you?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Salazar, Feb 28, 2015.

  1. Salazar

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    I was just reading one of my first threads on this site (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/48730-too-scared-come-out.html), and was contemplating my situation then and now. I didn't think then, in summer 2011, that I'd be out to pretty much everyone in under two years, and happier than I ever have been and in a relationship in just over three.

    If I could talk to my 15 year old self I would emphasise just how insignificant I am in the grand scheme of things. No one cares! I worried that people would treat me differently if I came out to them, and in some ways that's true. My friends stopped asking me which girls I thought were hot, and started asking me which guys I thought were hot.

    Another of my worries was how I would ever find a boyfriend. Things like that can never be predicted or planned. Having had huge crushes on straight guys all my life I ended up flirting with a guy for almost a year before I finally met him and started going out with him, and now I can't think of anyone who could make me any happier!

    What would you tell your teenage/pre-out self if you could go back?
     
  2. NewKid87

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    Oh, wow. Fifteen was a BAD year for me. I was confused and ashamed of my attraction to guys, and I was attending an all-boys Catholic high school that was a bastion of homophobia, which I internalized deeply.

    I've only recently started coming out - I just told my parents yesterday, actually. I would tell my 15-year-old self: Just be strong, you will meet people in your life who will love and appreciate you for who you are, and they won't expect you to be something you're not. It is not moral or righteous for you to force yourself to meet the expectations of people who don't care about you anyway. I know it sucks now, but if you can tough it out for two more years, the worst of it will be over, and you will finally have the freedom to be yourself. And who you are is not a loser. You will hear this a lot, but please, please actually listen: It does get better.
     
  3. Notlad

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    Well.. I'm still a teenager I'd tell me that I should have probably loosened up and not have focused on my lack of a relationship.
     
  4. Chiroptera

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    Hey, your fucking idiot, you like men, and not only in hentai. Admit it!

    Also...keep being awesome.
     
  5. Rouqe

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    "Fuck you're amazing and look what you get to turn into!! Don't stress, things get a lot better" :slight_smile:
     
  6. guitar

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    "You know how you're feeling things towards guys? That's not a bromance. You're gay. Give it time and you'll eventually figure it out."
     
  7. hat123

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    Enjoy life more and be more understanding towards people! And stay awesome, you are on the right track!
     
  8. Rainbows~Exist

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    Well I'm still a teenager but if I could talk to myself from about 4 years ago I'd say:
    "Be yourself. Don't become the 'quiet' and shy 'one' in school just act like you normally would around your good friends." If I realized this earlier on then I bet my life would be completely different at the moment.
     
  9. TwoWays

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    I'm also still a teenager, but if I had to say something to my 14/15 year old self, I would say "You fucking idiot! You should of kissed your amazing bestfriend before you turn 17 so he would be your boyfriend a lot sooner. Oh and btw, the whole gay/bi thing, it's not a phase!"
     
  10. Sturtevant

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    Oh dear, too much to say to teenage me. Best advice, don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. Be yourself, your achievements will take you where you need to go.
     
  11. Van

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    Hey, there me! You don't realize how strong you're now, but 10 years from now, you'll look back and think to yourself - "damn, if that were any other kid, they'd probably go insane". Now go out and make some friends. Stay weird, cuz that's what will get you thru high-school. You're the toughest teen I know.

    Oh, and also... Gurrl, you know you're gay. You know it, you've known it since you were 6. Admit it to yourself already and embrace it. You won't grow out of it, you won't wish it away, it is who you are and somewhere deep inside you know that you're fabulous. I know that you don't necessarily love yourself, but you'll have to find a way and start doing it - the sooner, the better.
     
  12. shota

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    Your not playing dress up sweetie you want to be a man and it does not matter how much testosterone you take you will never be a straight man get over it
     
  13. HM03

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    *Don't take highschool social life (or lack of :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) too seriously
    *You're gay
    *You're naturally loud and obnoxious, and shouldn't repress that part of yourself too
     
  14. Michael

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    Quite a few things, among other stuff...

    1.If they tell you that you look like a boy, it's because you are a boy, and you are on your way to become an amazing man. Be proud, 'cause you are going to rock.

    2. That girl is crazy about you, fool... Just turn around and embrace her, and then if she doesn't complain, just kiss her. Yes, on her lips. Right now.

    3. Stop pretending 'cause you are doing it damned right, but this is going to kill you. Stop doing things you don't want to just to fit in.

    4. What you are feeling is called dysphoria. There is nothing to worry about, you are not insane, and it won't go away when you grow up. You won't never get used to it, so you better try to find a solution right now.

    5. I know you like cookies, but to steal your little sister's cookies, and make her cry again because she has no more cookies, that is something to be ashamed of... Stop it.
     
  15. GrumpyOldLady

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    Having a boyfriend will not solve your problems.
    There's nothing wrong with being queer.
    Dump the loser, you're only dating him because you want to hang out with his friends.
    Being transgender is a thing.
    Real love doesn't hurt.
     
  16. OGS

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    Don't wait until after college to come out.
    Have more faith in the people around you.
     
  17. SemiCharmedLife

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    That part of you that likes guys is real and will only get stronger...don't fight it. Nobody will hate you because of it.

    Also, don't try to get a PhD. Just fucking don't.
     
  18. Stop trying to please people who won't like you, you don't need them, you're as good as you think you are. You actually do have friends. Don't wait until 10th grade to get physically fit, and oh yeah- you're gay
     
  19. PATenor2

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    Being gay is not a sin. Whatever anyone else thinks of you is none of YOUR business. Be yourself; don't feel guilty and don't apologize.
     
  20. Maddy

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    "One, it's going to be okay. Two, you will have the friends you always wanted. Three, shut the fuck up."