What was your reaction when you found out your orientation?

I was definitely scared when I started to realize it. Now I think I've embraced it, but I still don't know how to tell my boyfriend without hurting him.

 

At first I figured why bother to label it, you know? My sexuality can just be something for me to mull over in my head. But once I admitted it to myself I felt much more at home in my own mind (if that makes any sense). Now I'm proud of who I am and I'm out to pretty much everyone except my family but that's soon to follow.

 

For years I thought I was bisexual, but I soon realised that to be bisexual I would probably have to have some sort of attraction to the male species (which there was none of).

It was then I realised I was gay, and I really struggled with it for a while and probably still am. At 22 I'm still not completely comfortable and out, though I take my hat off to those who are, I would absolutely love the freedom of being able to hold hands with my SO in public without worrying a family member will see us.

 

My first reaction? It kinda became more obvious to me over several months and I kept saying to myself that I was bi, but that was just me trying to cover up. Therefore when I finally went 'ok I'm gay', it didn't surprise me. I was just kinda like 'ok'. It was only several months after that I started freaking out over what other people would think.

 

:eek: Oh... so this is what being attracted to someone is all about!!!

 

"Shit, I'm gay!" that changed though to, "Shit, I'm pan-romantic"

 

I honestly didn't have much of a reaction. My parents would freak out though.

 

Well it was kind of weird at first and I had to be sure so many things happened not all good things

 

Just about when my primary sexual orientation died, I realized I was on my way to becoming asexual. I looked back and still think that I am not born that way.

 

When I first joined EC, I first identified as lesbian, then bisexual, then pansexual, and finally just used the umbrella term queer until I could figure out what the heck I was. I though I was sexual for the longest time until I had a brief relationship with a guy a year older than me. He tried to initiate something, and both my body and mind basically said 'nope, :***: this'. We broke it off after that because apparently I wasn't 'putting out'. Anyway, for a very long time I had confused wanting to protect someone/be close to them with sexual attraction. When I only felt frustration and confusion while trying to figure myself out, discovering my true orientation gave me a sense of peace and confidence I hope will stick around.

Sorry if it's rambling. It's been a long couple of years.

 

I was terrified at first and then I was just like "Yup Gay" but I took time to think about it and was like "Well I'm attracted to both so I guess I'm Bi?" and wasn't really sure until more recently that I was defiantly bi.

And then I watched Carmilla and saw Natasha Negovanlis on my computer screen and was just like "Yup, defiantly bi but a little more gay now."

 

I became depressed, confused, sad, and jealous. Than one day well I was taking milo for his walk I thought well maybe I should just stop pretending to be straight. Maybe I should just feel comfortable in my own skin. Maybe I might find a really nice guy. Then Ive still been slowly coming out.

 

I was shocked and really excited. I was 12 and I was excited at the prospect of having a girlfriend one day etc but it was scary and I knew it wasn't gonna an easy next few years.

 

I don't think I had much of a reaction to me realizing that I'm a lesbian. I think my thought was " Huh....That makes so much sense now." Then I just continued on with my day.

 

I still find this picture pretty frickin' hilarious.

 

I felt at peace, It was like I found a missing part of who I am.

 

I just thought "well, that makes sense" and moved on.

 

When it finally clicked...after having thought about it all night...again... My first thought was. ' holy shit. Really'
I was kinda happy though

 

sexuality: why can't i just be normal? i don't want to be so different! this is annoying and people at school can be so harsh about this. ugh. why???

gender: this is going to be a real pain, but at least i know who i am! now i have to struggle through the gender binary :/

 

I felt like I just woke up from deep sleep. Reality slapped me hard. In a good way. Milliseconds after it hit me, I actually felt the urge to laugh hysterically. Partly because I was so glad that finally I had figured out, and partly because I felt so stupid for not figuring it out earlier (and for repressing my orientation/identity) when all my life I've been fed hints that I was gay. Then I realized that being gay meant I had to come out, and I felt a twinge of fear.