1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What name would be best?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by e6000, Aug 21, 2018.

  1. e6000

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2017
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    NYS
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm going back to college next week. I started identifying as agender last year, after having started my freshman year, but I hadn't joined my school's pride alliance (or any other clubs) because I thought it would take up a lot of my time. I'm thinking of joining my school's pride alliance this year, but I keep asking myself the same question: what name should I use with the people there?

    I use a lot of different names, including my legal name, which I don't think I want to use in an LGBT safe space, because I don't like it very much (I use it anyways, since my school and my bank account already use that name for me). I have one name that I use in spaces where people know I'm trans, but it's very far from my legal name, and I'm afraid of people from the pride alliance outing me as trans in public by using that name.

    Should I use a name that I'd be comfortable with, or should I use my legal name to avoid future problems with other people I know who aren't in the pride alliance? Or should I choose a different name that's similar enough to my legal name that it sounds like a nickname?
     
  2. Hawk

    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    13,403
    Likes Received:
    1,471
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    What name are you more comfortable with? If you prefer your chosen name, and can see yourself using it in the future, you can try it out within the group, and ask them to only use your chosen name within the alliance.
    If you're comfortable with it, you can always ask them to call you [chosen name] within the group and [given name] outside of the group. And tell them your situation if you have to.

    Are your friends (who aren't in the alliance) supportive of LGBT+ people?

    I think University campus's are pretty safe spaces, but it depends on your location as well. Is your area pretty liberal or conservative?
    You could even look into changing your name in the University registrar. I know my University allowed students to change their name on certain documents (that weren't government or legal documents), such as on the registrar and on IDs and such.
     
  3. e6000

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2017
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    NYS
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm not out to my family, so I won't be changing my name any time soon, and possibly never. I'm not out as agender to anyone I go to school with, so I don't know if any of my friends are supportive of trans people (although some of them do know that I was dating a girl most of last year, and likely just assumed that I was wlw). My campus is in a liberal area, but it's also a tech school that has a lot of international students, so I can't really judge if the university itself is liberal or conservative because there's a more global demographic.

    Your proposed solution may work! I'm just also worried about if there's people I already know in this group that I would have to come out to, and that could become complicated in situations outside of the group. In this situation, I think I will just end up using my legal name.