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What makes you a lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ajw347, Aug 14, 2017.

  1. ajw347

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    If you take sex out of the equations, what makes you want to be with women instead of men?

    Yesterday I went to a meet up to talk about "coming out". I asked them the same question and I would like to hear what other people say.

    I once asked my sister and mom a similar question about what keeps them wanting to be with their husbands, because a lot of times I find their struggles with these good men very exhausting. And because of this the thought of marring a man sounds like a terrible idea. Sorry guys. :slight_smile:
     
  2. Creativemind

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    If you take sex out of the equation, there probably isn't much difference emotionally, other than not wanting to deal with sexism or gender roles (and even that is gonna vary).

    I think dating women can be a crappy experience too, and in my experience it usually is. Women really suck as dating partners. Men also suck as dating partners. Being a lesbian to me is purely physical. I'm that way because I'm hardwired to be attracted to the physical traits of a woman, and find heterosexual sex repulsive and uncomfortable. It really has nothing to do with any emotional reason for me, purely because I know plenty of women who act like stereotypical sexist men, and I know plenty of men who act like stereotypical "understanding girly girls". But the physical traits are always going to matter in the end regardless of what individual girls or guys act like. I find it hard to think up an emotional reason of why I want to be with women that could actually be accurate toward women as a whole...other than "I like boobs/vagina/estrogen/female voices/etc"
     
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  3. ajw347

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    Interesting. Do you mind sharing how old you are? The group of women where 50 and over. No offence if you are over 50. Just tiring to get some perspective.
     
  4. Creativemind

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    I'm almost 27.
     
  5. Creativemind

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    Also, I should clarify that the physical side of a relationship isn't that important to me, despite defining my lesbianism on the physical. I actually don't like sex as much as most people, and am commonly mistaken as asexual even though I'm not.

    I just define it as a more physical thing since I think personality and emotions affect individuals more than they affect genders. lol
     
    #5 Creativemind, Aug 14, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2017
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  6. MrLesbian

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    "I'm hardwired to be attracted to the physical traits of a woman" - That's me
    "Men who act like stereotypical "understanding girly girls". - That's me
    "But the physical traits are always going to matter in the end regardless of what individual girls or guys act like."
    "I like boobs/vagina/estrogen/female voices/etc"

    I think you helped me some more.
    Thank you,
    From a lesbian in a male body.
     
    #6 MrLesbian, Aug 15, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2017
  7. ajw347

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    So is it that you find the company of women just more appealing than with men and that's part of why you're a lesbian? I think that's me even though thinking about being with a women physically is definitely appealing.
     
  8. jenne

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    Emotionally I always felt I had more chemistry with women I never even had a guy for a friend but I don't know if that's important.. the thing that makes me know for sure I'm gay is that I'm so attracted to the female body and femininity so I can't imagine myself doing anything with a guy there is nothing appealing about the male body for me...
    I couldn't even "try" to be straight...
    It feels so wrong!
    I wonder why it took my so long to realise my sexuality though
     
  9. Creativemind

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    It's mostly because I find the male body to turn me off. I can't even stand seeing men shirtless at home or in public....so gross!

    I find the company of men and women to equally be appealing, and sometimes I even prefer the company of men more depending on my mood and what subjects I want to talk about. It's just that men are not sexually appealing at all whatsoever. I find sleeping with a dude to be a major turn off.

    I think when you're trying to figure out your sexuality, It helps to figure out who you actually want to have sex with and marry/share a life with. For me that happens to be women. But I can enjoy men as family and friends, sometimes even more than a female friend.