What Made you Realize your Sexuality?

I knew at a young age, but buried it for awhile when my family moved to a much less accepting area. After that it took a big crush on one of my best friends in high school for it to become real again.

 

I was probably 15 or 16 when I realized that I was interested in guys and girls. I sort of feel like a stalker now because I remember being one of the first in the girls shower and one of the last to leave. I couldn't take my eyes off of girls. I guess I sort of started to question right about then. It took me a while to admit to myself how I was really feeling but now it all makes sense....

 

I never really saw what other girls saw in guys. My crushes were on other girls. Of course, I refused to see this for what it was for a really long time.

 

I wondered if I was gay when I was about 11 years old when I was at a vacation bible school and I saw a boy that I had feelings for that I didn't know what they were, so I just brushed it off because I never had to see him again as it was my last time going to that VBS. But, what really pushed me over to know I was gay is the attraction to a neighbor. My attraction started when he sat by me from time to time on the bus in 6th grade. Now I am in 8th grade and I'm crushing on him so hard. He barely rides the bus now, and when he rides the bus and sits by me, I want to talk to him but I get nervous, and that barely helps my introversion... He is 2 grades ahead of me, which I am sad about, but oh well.

 

pretty gals, one in particular that i crushed on for 5 or so years until mid grade 9. She was straight, and i was crushed

 

I was 11 and I had lots of crushes on people. I tried to repress some of my feelings/thoughts because I believed they were sinful. Obviously that was a losing battle :lol:

 

This is going to sound dumb, but one day, just early this February of 2016, I was thinking about what my future might hold. My carrier, my friends, my future husband... Then I stopped. I remember thinking this exactly: "Guys are so lucky! They get to marry girls and I have to marry a guy." Days, maybe even weeks later, it hit me, for no apparent reason, just what those kinds of thoughts might mean. Then the rest of my life started making sense, and boom! Here I am! :smilewave

 

My attraction to a particularly boy in my chemistry class sophomore year have me an idea but I buried that away for another year. The thing that actually made me realize it was, being brutally honest, yaoi. Unlike a lot of yaoi, one in particular had a good story to it and made me realize I was gay and wanted to end up with a guy.

 

Still figuring it out, but walking in the first day of high school to my freshman Bio class and seeing the most beautiful girl in the world that would quickly become my best friend and secret love of my dreams

 

bunch if female friends kept talking about yaoi. i decided to see what all the hype was about and... let's just say it took a while to go to sleep that night

 

It's really hard to say, because from probably 9-23 or so, it was so many little things. Staring at guys in class, being at the beach, having little touchy/feely moments with guy friends as a kid. When I was in grade 8, my girlfriend at the time asked me point-blank if I was gay when a teacher did a little speech about "it's okay to be gay, and some of you in the class likely are, it's a statistical certainty." Of course at that point I denied it because at that time there could be nothing worse.

My "a-ha!" moment was when I was at the beach with my last girlfriend around ~22 or so. It hit me smack in the face that I had been starring at the guys at the beach, paying no attention to the girls, and longing seeking out the ones I found really attractive. It was like "oh my god, I think I'm gay. I've been fighting it this whole time."

 

My first proper girl crush when I was like 10 was what made me actually notice that I like girls aswell.

 

I kept getting boners and crushing on guys. At first I thought it was a phase but it never went away. The rest is history.

 

I sat down one day a few months ago and said to myself "Am I really straight?". Before that I had been questioning for about a year.

 

That's awesome that you had it happen around then rather than later honestly

 

Since I was a kid, I've been interested in girls. When I was little I wondered how a kiss with a girl would be and well, you know how the story goes haha.

 

I think, I always had a feeling that Im different from others girls. of course, when I was younger I liked boys, I remember how I wanted to have husband, kids... But now I think I just wanted to be normal and my dreams was like that just because every girl had them the same. a few years later I had boyfriends, but I just couldn't kiss them, say that i love them and do other things... in that moment I knew that something is not right. and later i met girl, who was bisexual and she liked me, i liked her and we fell in love. that was five years ago. she helped me to understand who I'm or just opened my eyes.

 

I'm so glad I'm not alone on this one; I was born in the 70's and there was no cross section of "gay males" in the media/movies/Tv; everyone fit a certain "type" that I wasn't. E.g. I was just telling someone this the other day, that I never wanted to dress in woman's clothes. I'm not mocking that, I'm just saying, all the stereotypes of wearing women's clothes etc for gay people didn't apply to me - so I didn't know how to define myself

---------- Post added 26th Oct 2016 at 02:59 PM ----------

Hey, just felt I wanted to say that you are not alone. I think I had feelings at your age; certainly had them when I was 14. I feel I want to say, try to find support - and don't feel pressured to come out. Support is key at any age, but at a young age, trying to come out without support might not be best. It all depends on your family environment etc

 

Well, I didn't have any feelings for guys until I saw a gif of 2 emo guys kissing. I thought it was cute to say the least. I had girl crushes in school too, so I self diagnosed myself with bisexuality.