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What Made you Realize your Sexuality?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BlueBanana, Sep 22, 2016.

  1. Opheliac

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    For a long time, I didn't even consider not being straight an option. Like, the idea didn't even occur to me, probably because where I live, homosexuality is so hushed up that nobody talks about it ever. They don't even condemn it, they just don't speak about it at all.

    Strangely enough it was actually a guy who made me realise it. He's a couple of years senior to me and I had very strong feelings for him which I mistook for a crush. I saw later on that it was just intense idealisation and hero-worship... I didn't want to date him, I wanted to BE him. But anyway, at the time, we were working on a project together and he kind of developed a soft spot for me. And since I thought I liked him, I was ecstatic, but I very soon realised something wasn't right and that was when I became sure of it.

    (I'd had one relationship prior to this with a guy, when I was much younger. Things weren't right even then but I didn't realise why, and I broke it off without knowing why)

    I still have a mad amount of respect for this guy and he still makes me nervous sometimes, but I recognise why now. It's because he's pretty much everything I hope I'll be as I grow older. And I'm also quite thankful to him for inadvertently helping me realise my orientation, even though he doesn't know it!
     
  2. Sealgirl19

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    Two failed relationship with guys and my love for the female anatomy.
     
  3. Gunsmoke

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    I started out as an overly-invested ally. Nobody had ever really explained sexual orientations to me, but I started identifying as bi pretty soon after I found out that bisexuality was a thing, and a thing that described me pretty well, at that.
     
  4. ScatteredEarth

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    I've always had thoughts about both. As vulgar as it sounds though, the tipping point was pretty much porn, normal straight porn.. funny how eyes tend to drift to certain "parts" of a scene.
     
  5. Creativemind

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    Having crushes on girls and realizing that heterosexual sex repulsed me.
     
  6. Emberly

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    Finding women sexually intriguing/exciting and not feeling any sexual desire towards men. Also, I've never been able to picture myself happily in a long-term, monogamous relationship with a man. Back when I was in the mindset of only picturing myself with men, the idea of being in a romantic relationship just seemed stifling and burdensome to me. And even back when I was a child, I told my mom that I never wanted to get married and would just stay single for the rest of my life. Eventually allowing myself to think about being in a romantic relationship with a woman and being able to admit to myself that that was something I wanted was a big part of me finally being able to tell myself that I was a lesbian. I also had to sit down with myself and be like "Look, you only ever sexually notice women, you've been masturbating to thoughts of women since you were like, twelve, and all of the porn saved on your computer is of women. You are really fucking gay."
     
  7. Darsch Hielle

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    I had a crush on a girl and I was like "Crap. Looks like I'm not straight after all.."
     
  8. Tritri

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    I guess I'm different from other people here. The idea of having sex with a woman does not disgust or repulse me; it just isn't something I feel like I would enjoy.
    I've always been attracted to guys without shirts on, and never the same for women. In more recent years (as in 2012+) I've even felt attracted to male faces as well as their bodies.
    There was no single incident that got me thinking. It was simply the general trend. For a while I figured that I would eventually stop liking guys and start liking girls, but that never happened. I was in serious denial in 2013 and early 2014, deep down inside knowing I wasn't straight.
    One day when I was using my parent's desktop computer I was thinking about the issue, trying to do the mental gymnastics to convince myself I wasn't gay. And during that one thought I gave up and thought to myself, "I'm gay" a few times, and felt a slight urge to turn back, but I chose not to. And I accepted myself. I can tell you the exact date that happened: 22 February 2014. And it felt good.
    I actually somewhat wish I could crawl back into the closet so I could do that again.
     
    #28 Tritri, Sep 25, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2016
  9. JAlfred

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    I was in Sophomore year of high school, and one day in my US history class everyone was paired up for a small project. The guy I was paired with caught my attention unlike any other guy had; I had to keep forcing myself to not look at his slender neck or the delicate clavicles which peeked out of his t-shirt.

    We didn't finish the project during class. When he offered to take half the work home to finish over the weekend, I offered to finish the whole thing myself, something I'd never done before, because I felt a powerful urge to show off for him. I kept thinking about him that whole weekend, and eventually those thoughts drifted to solo physical exploration. Afterward, when those thoughts persisted, I realized I was attracted to men as well as women.
     
  10. Darthsam

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    At about 9 I want to grow up and be a wife I've never been attracted to other girls only guys
     
  11. resu

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    I think about what happened a lot because I at first thought I was straight until a year or so after puberty started. That said, I was quite naïve about sexuality outside of what I learned about in biology and nature shows. Then, it was like a light switch turned on around 7th grade. Any attractions to girls disappeared quickly. I was nervous at the time because I knew it was a taboo for my religious and cultural environment, yet it still felt right to me. I often wonder how it would have been had I been in a liberal and pro-LGBT environment, if I would have called myself gay in my preteen years.
     
  12. poeticpenguin

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    It's been a process over the course of a few years, with the past few months becoming a turning point of sorts. I've kinda known since middle school when my heart went pitter-patter for certain "cool and sporty" girls at school, but I never really gave it much serious thought until recently with my first major crush on...*gasp* someone of the same sex as me. I've given myself lots of thinking space and have finally come to terms with the fact that this is who I am and I don't have to be afraid of it.
     
  13. GayBatman

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    Ummm, I honestly don't know. I mean, in middle school I started to notice guys. I guess I finally understood who I am when I fell in love with my best friend.
     
  14. Reciprocal

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    I'm transgender, so it took me a little while because I found myself looking at boys, and thinking I had "crushes" on them but now I realise it was just admiration and wanting to look like them. Then, intense attractions towards women started happening and I worked out that was my sexuality.
     
  15. Linthras

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    Not understanding the mystery and intolerance other people felt towards homosexuals.
    But it wasn't until highschool and the explicit homophobia I noticed there, that I realized my bisexuality was not the norm.
     
  16. Ruinbow

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    I remember being in denial at first, back when I had a HUGE crush on my best friend. Feelings confused me for awhile but didn't take too long to accept who I am. Before that I had a lot of celebrity crushes on girls and I wondered why I never had any on guys, let alone had a crush on a guy in person.
     
  17. shootingstar

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    After stumbling across a coming out video on youtube, everything made sense and I realised I was a lesbian.

    As for the actual main reasons how I knew: I never had or wanted a boyfriend/husband, I didn't ever have any crushes on boys (but I had crushes on girls), I could only imagine myself in a relationship with a woman and ultimately getting married to a woman.
     
  18. AnAtypicalGuy

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    It's complicated. At the time that I found out my sexuality, I kinda thought that I was a girl (I wasn't really at all) so I'll speak as if I were a cisgender female, despite how uncomfortable this makes me feel. I've been attracted to girls and to guys for as long as I've felt sexual attraction towards anyone. You may think it's obvious that straight people do NOT get attracted to people of their sex, but I had somehow managed to convince myself that the emotions I'd feel when looking at a hot girl was not sexual attraction. The fact that I continued to feel attraction towards guys was confirmation for me that I was straight.

    A few years forward, I remember panicking a little when I had my first sexual fantasy -- involving a girl, not a guy. Still, I managed to blame being a teenager for those "weird" thoughts. Another time, while watching a youtube video, I was surprised by a gay person's description of their lack of sexual attraction towards the opposite sex, as I had thought that ALL people felt sexually attracted to both sexes, regardless of romantic attraction. When straight people would describe similar apathy towards their own sex, I was even more confused. Finally, since I am the type of guy that questions everything around me, I randomly began having thoughts along the lines of this: "How can anyone ever know, for CERTAIN, whether or not they're actually straight, until they have met everyone in the world and at least once felt attraction towards someone of the same sex?" Keep in mind that at this time I knew little to NOTHING about LGBTQ+ related matters, hence my strange logic. That was when I had my moment of shock: I ALREADY felt attraction towards girls. Then I thought about how the definition of heterosexuality was being attracted exclusively to people of the opposite sex.

    The rest is history.
     
  19. Bubbletea

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    Eh the realisation was something that happened a few times. First time was when I stole my sisters clothes and showed me weating it to a male friend at the age of 5. He responded by rushing home and never spoke to me again lol (makes me laugh now lol) it gave me the idea that it was a wrongful thing to do.

    The time I conciously became aware of being tg was when I first saw another tg come out on tv (was a show like big brother) and I was like omg, that is exactly what I mean. I did some research (internet was still developing so not much info) and decided I should hide in the closet forever. Which I did untill a year ago.

    A year ago I realised I cant do this anymore. I told my gf and my closest bff and then subconsciously went back in the closet again.

    And now since 2 or 3 weeks, Im actually dressing feminine and going outside and do stuff. Like today Im wearing mild make up, got super skinny jeans on and got my nails done and such and I realise that this is what I want. So yeah. Happened quite a few times lol. Amazing how the mid can lie to itself.
     
  20. Cinis

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    I think if a guy doesn't have a crush on Scarlett Johansson he has the ultimate proof on being gay :lol:

    ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2016 at 01:26 PM ----------

    For me it was somehow something i always knew. What i really struggled with later on was the part of being interested in boys not the "gay" part ...