What made you realize your gay /bi

Actually being with a woman and having my first non-self-inflicted orgasm was a game-changer for me, after two previous boyfriends never really managed to do much for me. It was like "omg so this is what it's all about".

 

I've wondered what it would be like being with women and having an orgasm. And if it would be different from being with a man. My husband and I tried for years and nothing happened so we assume I couldn't. He was away when it happened and I tried when he came back but nothing. It eventually took another 15 years together before he was able to give me one but it isn't guaranteed every time we have sex.

Question. Did you persue more relationship with women after that orgasm?

 

Yeah I really re-focussed my sexuality on women after that. Sort of forgot about men - still thought they were good looking etc but didn't give them a second thought, stopped flirting as much. But I was young, it was a few months before my 17th birthday when that happened. Before then I was boy crazy, even though sex was never much good. But you know, they were young too so I can't blame them for not really knowing what to do, and I would never have dared try to explain or show them what felt good for me. On the other hand, she just knew. She was about 2 years older than me and had previous experience with women (I didn't know that at the time though).

 

I don't have any regrets about my life other than letting my husband know sooner about my sexuality. I am happy with how I found out, the younger me had too many worries and insecurities to handle myself being bisexual. So how has your life been since embracing your sexuality and with your current partner?

 

I'm glad you managed to tell him in the end. I think straight guys usually take it pretty well, some of the bi guys on here have a much harder time with straight wives & girlfriends. I think finding out young and the way I did worked well for me. I was always very head-strong when I was younger. I'm a bit of a a thrill seeker, more extroverted than introverted, I make strong attachments quite easily and I think if I wasn't chasing after girls, I'd have been chasing guys instead. As an adult I've only been with one guy, I wasn't really looking for a man at the time but there was something about him that drew me in and that was 6 1/2 years ago, we're getting married next year. Although the first few years were long distance, more casual and uncommitted, but it was during that time that we developed a good friendship on top of the initial chemistry, and then we've built on that since I moved back to my home town. Every relationship (situationship/fling/FWB) I've had with women has been intense but short. I enjoyed that time immensely, made a few good friends but it feels like I'm at a different point in life now.

 

100% I don't think I would have even raised an eyebrow if my wife said she was bi, aside frome the 180 degree turn. She has made it very plain that she is not interested in women in the least. Maybe, men don't feel threatened unless there is "another rooster in the hen house"? That's not me, but I sense others may feel that way. I have ZERO possesive/jealousy vibes. I point more towards compersion than jealousy.

 

Yeah that describes my fiance to a tee. I told him I was bi the day we met and he's never felt threatened by it. Or if he has, he's covered it up extremely well. I'm probably a little bit more possessive than that but not massively so.

 

I’m still trying to figure out if I’m bi. I love and couldn’t live without women but am attracted to men as well. But sexually only not emotionally. I’m not sure I could have feelings for a guy like I do/can with women. It’s been this way for many years and I even explored sexually with a guy once. It was just mutual oral. I wanted badly to do this for so long and when I finally got up the courage to do so liked it. Unfortunately the guy started acting to weirdly and I left before we finished. Yes, bad experience as far as the guy but I enjoyed the act of doing it with another guy and was grateful for the experience. I haven’t played since but again badly want to. I fantasize about doing so frequently. I know in my heart that bisexuality and homosexuality isn’t wrong but still feel guilty from time to time. I’m not always in this kind of mood and sometimes am interested in women only but the feeling/urge always returns and sometimes stronger than ever. My wife knows of my previous exploration and current fascination and is ok with it. This is never problematic but rather very interesting to me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Sorry I was so long winded. Thanks for reading.

 

If you haven't heard of it already, check out the term "bi-cycle" in regards to your interests going back and forth over time. It's quite common, and though some explain it as latent homophobia, I tend to think it's just a natural consequence of living complex lives with circumstances that are ever changing.

 

Realizing my bisexuality was a gradual process that unfolded over many years. Growing up, I felt attracted to both men and women but didn't have the language or understanding to articulate it. It wasn't until later in life, after various experiences and reflections, that I came to accept and embrace my bisexuality. Understanding my attractions allowed me to explore my identity more deeply and connect with others who shared similar experiences.

 

Thanks for your input

 

Thanks

 

It was never ever a reality for me. Not until about 4 years ago I started having these weird feelings that never seemed to go away and eventually grew stronger. There were points I'd not have them and think it was a passing thing but they kept returning. Within the last year they are constant.
It helps that my wife is bi. It was never something she thought about either until it snuck up on her.

 

Must be nice to have a Bi wife

 

I know its a bit late to comment on this but oh well.
There was this girl in my school and we were close friends at the time and she was very popular with everyone. This sort of led to an infatuation of sorts but i was too young to realise it only being around 9-10 at the time. I basically worshipped her as much as you could at this age and put down any thoughts i had on her as jealousy at the time all the while still adoring her. A few years later i began to realise that wlw relationships were actually a thing and that i wanted that while still liking boys. It helped that all my friends were out as well as either bi or lesbian. Like calls to like. 5 years later i still have a crush on her after a small break and then the realisation. Its been a rollercoaster.

 

The same for me. Seeing school mates in the shower I could not help but fantasize about them. All different shapes and sizes. Last week I had my first man encounter. My first was anal. Last night I gave him my first BJ. After he went off in my mouth I realize I am Bi. Looking forward to giving more BJ’S.

 

I was 12 he was 13 we got undressed together and both got excited. We were actively enjoying one another for 4 years till he graduated, had a kid then got married to his babies mama. Miss it all so bad. Never forgot and never will. Want it all back.

 

I been going through my life in my head and a few things stand out. My first gay experience was when I was in college and after college. I have also had trouble fitting in with other people and I basically like having my own shower I don't feel comfortable when I have to share one. Never actually worked out with the lasses and when I read a LGBT book it all sort of made sense. So I realised that I must be gay but just couldn't get a grip of it

 

i know im still young but ive known since i was like 10 but gym class in 6th grade was def the deciding moment and i have 0 desire for girls at all