Hey all, Long story short...I was married 23 years, came out and now seperated from husband. Yay me! I live in a small town and can only meet lesbians on line (no local centers, no meet ups). Went on a few first dates, NO second dates. Wth? I am introverted, but dang really? What is wrong with me? Will I be alone forever? I just want to give up, why go through all of this, and end up alone?
Nothing wrong with you. Lots of people date a *lot* before finding someone to settle down with. Lots of people have no desire to settle down, and just want to date a lot. Why assume it has to do with you? But here's the thing: "...why go through all of this...?" Why *do* we date, anyway? Is it really solely to find a one and only person with whom we will spend the rest of our lives? I mean sure, that could be a nice outcome, if it happens. But most people date, because dating is fun. Meeting people, spending time with people, is fun. (I say this as a fellow introvert!!) I recommend dropping the *goal* aspect of dating, because if anything is wrong with you, that may be it. Meet people for information, not to find a partner. If there's a kiss, kiss for information; not to move on to sex, not to hook them into a second date, not for any other purpose. Just for information and the fact that kissing feels good. And don't forget that information flows both ways and you aren't a passive participant on display for hopeful consumption...if you like them, and would enjoy seeing more of them, let them know that! How they respond to that also gives you information. If any of the information you receive sets of red flags, you shouldn't want to date them again. Them not wanting a second date should be a red flag.
