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What is "Love"

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by QuietPeace, Oct 24, 2020.

  1. QuietPeace

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    In English this one word is used to say many things many of which just imply "like a whole lot".

    From a wiki article the Greeks had several words which get translated as love
    • Agápe - "the love of God for man and of man for a good God"
    • Éros - "love, mostly of the sexual passion"
    • Philia - "affectionate regard, friendship"
    • Philautia - "self-love"
    • Xenia - "guest-friendship"
    Growing up I was told that it meant a number of things. From various fairy tales and children's stories what I gathered was that it was someone who wanted to take care of you. Maybe rescue you and take you away to a wonderful life together. One definition that I was told was
    After three years of reading over 100 books a year most from a list that I have created from a number of "100 books everyone should read" lists, what I have noticed is that "love" as used in literature is what the Greeks called "eros" and most often include no caring about a person whatsoever.

    My observations in life are even less charitable. 100% of the people in my life who have said that they "loved" me were only using me (some just for a fetish, some to get money, some for other things). At best they just wanted something out of me and used the word to get me to drop my guard. At worst this taking advantage of me has come close to ending my life (once even resulting in death that was reversed though I was in a coma for a while).

    I have reached a point where if someone were to say that they "loved" me that I would run as far and fast as I possibly could. Life experience says that is the wisest possible reaction. It is strange, I remember when I was 16 I argued in a humanities class that "love" did not exist and that humans only ever acted out of self interest (not even enlightened self interest). I have come full circle.
     
  2. mlansing

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    Good food for thought. I believe in love and I want to be in love, but I just question that I’d be able to find someone I was in love with who also was in love with me as well as available and also more or less compatible with me. I think it can happen, but soon enough for us to start a family together? And would he even want to start a family?

    Lots of questions, but I also acknowledge that even without a partner I am living a life filled with self love, which I did not have back when I was closeted. It’s nice to remind myself that even if I don’t meet the love of my life, my own self love has already made life so much richer, more joyous, and more fulfilling. And at the end of the day, at least for me, that in itself is a dream come true.
     
  3. chicodeoro

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    Reading this makes me sad for you. For if there is one thing that I have experienced this year it's love. Not romantic love. But the love that comforts you in times of crisis and grief, the love of those who have accepted me as transgender and delighted in my new identity, the love of those who have gone to extra mile to make sure I am ok, who have answered the phone when I've called, held my hand and put their arms around me when I've needed it.

    Love has saved my sanity, saved my life this year.

    Beth

    Btw - I love that quote from Corinthians! In my experience it rings true.
     
  4. QuietPeace

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    I quoted it as I was raised in a cultic Southern Baptist congregation. I have treated others that way but no one has returned the favor.