What is hard about dating you?

I have a lot of emotional baggage, and that's putting it nicely.

Coming from an emotionally abusive upbringing, I constantly think people are lying to me or sweet talking me so I hear what I want to. So, they could tell me they love me and genuinely care about me, and I'll be convinced they're lying to me and it's all part of some way to eventually hurt me.

 

I'm such a slob!
I'm trying not to be, but damn! It's hard to keep my sleep and work spaces neat!
Holy shit, I'm so gross!!

 

I'm incredibly indecisive, unorganised, self conscious, and non assertive. I'm not really outgoing/adventurous. I have aspergers, which can make me, as my family likes to put it, "A Jackass", and causes most of the problems listed. I don't like going places or doing things unless I plan to ahead of time. I keep everyone at arm's length, though only because of my being closeted and pre everything. I am extremely particular with how things should be done. I'm really stubborn. I have sensory issues that make it hard to have close physical contact, especially with my hands. Though now that I think about it, most of these problems could be overcome if I was with the right person.

All that said, I've never actually been in a relationship -And I won't be looking to be in one until i'm at least somewhat transitioned- though I think about what it would be like quite often.

 

:roflmao:

I can be very messy, or very tidy. And when I am reaaaallllyyy hungry I dont like to share food. I rather get u another plate !

But generally I am not selfish at all. More opposite. But dont touch my food..unless its food I dont love so much. But I find it hard to say no if someone asks...so I either do this face

:tantrum: and say nothing..no jk...my solution...EAT AS FAST AS I CAN or hide somewhere : P

 

I've never dated anyone. The few relationships I've had kinda skipped that part. So needless to say I am terrified of dating.

I'm ridiculously indecisive, can get childish if I don't want to do something and am the fussiest eater I know.