Hi there, I recently got told by my therapist that while it's not impossible, it's unlikely that I'm transgender as his experience with most trans individuals has been that they had some form of self identification in their very young years (explaining the depelopment of the brain and features in a way that made complete sense) and that it normally resurfaces around puberty or teenage years. Add to this that I don't have anything I'm confident enough to call disohoria, or that causes me massive distress, but do struggle with horrible body image and confidence and depression. He said we'd explore it some more so maybe I'm just obsessing over it too early. Now I mean I've been struggling with this for almost 8 years consciously and 11 years in total that I'm aware of and came to find some form of peace even if it's uncertain at times, in being trans. The cross dressing, the jealousy of girls bodies, the dislike in body hair and body build and lack of most stereotypical manly activities or interests, I've experimented with pronouns and names and expression with some friends and felt happier with it but is that maybe more excitement and escapism than anything else? If not trans, what's going on with me? Why do I keep coming back to this and feeling like I want to be a woman if that's not it? Is the lack of massive crippling dysphoria or signs in my childhood and teens a valid observation that I'm not trans? I've thought about this before myself before he mentioned it since I don't fit the trans narrative as such. I feel like I've put pressure on myself to transition, that I want to start before I'm too old as I already feel like it's too late even if I know it's not true but then I worry that maybe it'd be a mistake and it just further fuels this argument. I guess I just don't know how to process the events that happened. I mean on the one side of I am not trans then maybe I could save my relationship and it doesn't have to impact my life majorly which should be good and yet... It troubles me as I found reason where I had uncertainty and now its just uncertain again. Sorry, guess I just need to rant somewhere.