Hi. Thanks for clicking here. Can you help me? I’d like to think I’m totally unknown on a website for people in the LGBT community, but I’ll leave that up to the FBI agent assigned to watch me 24/7 if I’m really anonymous or not. I’m sorry for how long this might get, and if I’m posting it in the wrong area. So if anyone can point me in the direction of where to go, even if it’s to a therapist’s office, it would be greatly appreciated. Standard disclaimer: I have never heard of, nor have I ever used this or a similar website to get advice. I am 100% straight, I am 100% biologically male, I have never been with or imagined myself with a man, and I never will be sexually attracted to men, no offense to gay men. (If you don’t mind long, drawn-out stories then please continue on. If you mind, then you may skip to the second to last paragraph) I’m a man. No question about that. I like women, I’m going to marry my best friend next month. These are things that over the course of my life I have known to be set in stone about me and my identity. I’m a 20 something year old dude about to marry the love of his life and start a family someday. Sounds nice enough, right? Well, I’m writing this while wearing a blonde wig from Target (Halloween section), a tartan, pleated miniskirt from Amazon (created a second Prime account, 1 month free trial), and a lavender sweater also from Target (actually mine, her favorite color is lavender and she loved how it looked on me). I’ve been attracted to skirts on women for as long as I can remember. I try not to be a total perv about it, but I can’t help but take a second or third (or fourth) look at a short skirt hugging the hips of a woman as she walks by me in the opposite direction. Notice the words I used, “attracted to skirts on women”, not “attracted to women in skirts”. I think the main source of my attraction is the skirt itself on the woman, and not the woman herself. I’m a faithful man to my woman, and it’s gonna take more than a cute girl in a skirt to take me away from the woman I love. It started with puberty. I would go into my mom’s and my sister’s closets and sneak a dress or skirt and... you know. “Lock myself in the bathroom”, for lack of a better, not-so-obvious term. And I thought nothing of it. It would satisfy my out-of-control teenage hormones and it would be back where I found it within minutes. It stayed that way for a majority of my adolescence/early adulthood. Fast forward to 2018, I don’t know what happened. I started wearing my fiancée’s underwear occasionally (without her knowing), I would wear it out to places including my job underneath my clothes, and from there it just snowballed. I went to Target and as sneakily as I could, bought myself two pairs of women’s underwear. I started wearing those two regularly (washing them after every use, because gross) and it just felt great. I’m not hurting myself or anyone, and I’m not forced to broadcast it to everyone in my general area that I’m a dude wearing panties. I guess this reignited (or originally ignited) my fetish for women’s clothing, if that is even what this is all about. I’m not a feminist, but I support and respect women of all kinds. It started getting warmer outside, girls were out and about in cute little skirts in the nice weather, and pervy guys everywhere were loving the view. But so was I. Not in a disgusting way like them, I was at a point where I wanted to snap my fingers and switch outfits with them. And that’s when I thought, “I want that”. (Are you still reading right now? If so, God bless you.) Amazon Prime is an amazing thing. Good prices, and two day free shipping, can’t go wrong. I went right into the women’s clothing section and started looking around, just for the hell of it. I clicked on every cute skirt listed and imagined myself wearing it. It got to the point where I wanted stop imagining it, and see it for myself. After a longer selection process than I would care to admit, I settled for this one “schoolgirl” skirt that had pleats and white stripes for $15, the one that I’m wearing right now. Order was placed, I had just missed the cutoff time for two day free shipping where it would be delivered two days later, so it would technically be three days later. (Ordered it on Tuesday, delivered on Friday) I would be so excited to come home and change out of my clothes and into my new skirt that was actually a skirt, not a pair of jeans with the legs cut off all the way to resemble an extremely short denim skirt. Of course, I would do this in my room, door locked, preferably when no one was home. The second I hear the front door open, my skirt came off and I would change into shorts or pants, you know, like guys are supposed to. It wasn’t until a little later that I realized that being alone in my room isn’t the only time where I can wear my skirt without getting caught. So, on days where I drive to work, I would wear my skirt on the commute to work, change in the car before going into my job, and then changing back into my skirt for the commute home. Again, nobody would ever know (except maybe for someone sitting in the back of a passing bus who can look inside my window) and it felt great. Recently, I wanted to be more daring and try to see if I can wear my skirt outside of my room or my car. My biggest success so far was from my car into my house, all of 10 seconds outside. And now to today (literally to today), and this is where things start to go downhill. I bought myself another skirt, from Target (online of course), but I also bought a blonde wig for myself in store (it’s almost Halloween, I threw it right in my basket and did a quick lap around the store with no intention of buying anything else and went right to the self checkout lane). Now I think it’s starting to get serious, and I don’t know if it’s in a good way or a bad way. Now when I look at myself in the mirror (literally right now, as I’m wearing knee high socks, pleated tartan miniskirt, purple sweater, and now long blonde locks), the reflection looking back at me is becoming increasingly female. This isn’t where I wanted to be. I don’t want to be a drag queen, I don’t want to become transsexual, I just would love it if we lived in a world where having a penis doesn’t sentence you to a life of pants. I’ve always told myself, if it was socially acceptable for men to wear skirts in public then that’s all I would ever want to wear. But it’s not that way, and in many ways it’s viewed as wrong, and I’ve just come to accept it as wrong as I’ve been told. But man oh man if it wasn’t wrong, I would never own a pair of pants again as long as I live. Believe me, for now, I am fine with wearing skirts and stuff I shouldn’t be wearing in private, and I don’t see myself starting a revolution for clothing equality for men. If someone out there would like to start that revolution, please do so. ***(If you skipped, continue from here)*** Here is my bottom line. I’m a man. I’m straight. I’m in a committed relationship with the only woman I have ever loved, and I wouldn’t change any of that for anything. But it seems that recently, a new side of me (or dormant side of me, reawakened) has come into play, and it’s gotten more serious by the day. Now I’m starting to think about wearing dresses instead of skirts, getting more women’s underwear, maybe even lingerie, and trying out a new wig that I’m satisfied because this one just looks too sloppy and the hair keeps getting in my face (ladies, I don’t know how you do it). I feel like that side of me isn’t me, and I don’t want it to take over my life, but I don’t know what to do. That (ugly) girl in my mirror isn’t me, I never imagined looking in the mirror looking so much like the opposite sex where I finally start to think that this is a starting to be more than just occasional closeted crossdressing. If worse comes to worse, it’s as easy as putting all my questionable stuff in a plastic bag and throwing it in the trash can right before the garbage truck comes in the morning to get rid of all of the evidence. It started out with panties. Then skirts. Now wigs. What’s next? Makeup? Accessories? How far until it’s too far? What’s wrong with me? Why am I like this? Should I tell someone? Should I stop cold turkey before someone finds out, or if I decide I need to become a trans woman? Am I overthinking it? Am I UNDERthinking it? Is it too late for me to go back to being a normal, exclusively pants wearing man? Am I doomed to be on the operating table, seeing a doctor hold a knife to my junk before I pass out? Obviously being a bit overdramatic but I think I made my point. Help me, please. Advice, your personal story, suggestions, anything not mean is welcomed. Thanks for sticking to the end. If you made it all the way through, we should be friends. Thanks again!