Just sitting here wondering this. Though I identity as gay, I know I actually do fall somewhere in the bi spectrum. The wording though is a bit confusing though 3) is easy because it means you like both pretty equally. 4) gay but more than incidentally straight 5) gay but incidentally straight 6) totally gay Well I'm 100% sure I'm not a 3 or a 6 but I thought I'd get other people's opinions on where they think the line between "incidentally heterosexual" and "more than incidentally heterosexual" actually is. Personally I'd say I'm a 5 but I want to know where the majority of people think the line is. I really wouldn't be surprised if many thought I was a 4.
It's enough to read the stuff below my avatar. That's why I'm not using any labels to describe myself. I feel that I can connect to guys emotionally way easier and that alone tips me over 3. And since I very much need feelings to want more from someone I'm definitely more likely to have a bf than a gf. So this might help you because you are far from being alone with the feeling!
I consider myself "Kinsey 5" if I had to choose a spot, and for me that means I'm primarily attracted to women, but I would not absolutely rule out being with a guy. Compared to what some of the other lesbians on this site say, some of whom indicate they would never consider it because they're *never* attracted, I think I have some minor attraction to some males, but it kind of pales in comparison to what I feel toward women.
Think of the word "Incidentally"... it's referring to people who have homosexual experiences that are specific incidents, rather than an ongoing belief, pattern of behavior, and so forth. Also, please keep in mind that the Kinsey scale is from the 1940s, at a time when personality theory and sexual orientation study were both in their infancy by modern standards. Additionally, Kinsey's samples weren't even close to an even distribution of the population, so his data was almost certainly skewed. Nonetheless, it's the best we have. About 15 years ago, there was supposed to be another very large, well funded study, with well thought out and carefully developed methodology. But the fucking Republicans decided it wasn't worthy of research dollars and cut the budget for it. The numbers and their specific meaning aren't really important and many people use them as shorthand for where they are on the spectrum; if you're a 3, you're pretty much equal in your attraction for men and women, if you are a 5, you might hvae had or might consider a relationship with the opposite sex, but are far more likely to be in a relationship with the same sex.
Everyone has a different definition of the kinsey scale. In the gay leaning scale for example, I view it this way: 6: Completely gay in the extent they would never be attracted to anyone of the opposite sex and never entertain the idea of being romantically or sexually involved with them. 5: Still a homosexual but may find the opposite sex "sometimes" appealing and may entertain the idea of being romantically or sexually involved with a few exceptions, but this isn't enough to make them bisexual. Another term for "Homoflexible" in my opinion. Incidentally could mean hetero college experiments or making an exception for a member of the opposite sex, but not the opposite sex on the whole. 4: This is where people get confused, However I personally see this as a normal bisexual who has regular sexual and romantic inclinations to both sexes, but they have a preference for the same sex. Not all bisexuals like both sexes equally so I find limiting them to kinsey 3 isn't very realistic.
Personally, I think "incidentally homosexual" or "incidentally heterosexual" mean that one is almost exclusively attracted to the gender of choice (i.e. same or opposite, based if one identifies mostly as gay or straight), but might, by happenstance, have sex with a person whose gender is not the one they are usually attracted to. Perhaps it's the straight guy in the gym sauna who lets another guy sexually satisfy him, or the gay guy who has sex with his female best friend after she broke up and they ended up having sex. Perhaps it's related to what is called "situational sexual behavior."
This is really good, AC, as are the examples. As for your first example, I'm sure many a gym membership has been lost over that "happenstance!"