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What do you wish people had done/knew when you were a teen identifying as LGBTQ?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by basicavocados, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. basicavocados

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    I'm working on a project for my civics engagement class and I really want to work specifically with LGBTQ+ youth who are affected by anxiety and depression, but I'm not sure how to do that. Google is only giving me statistics about anxiety and depression in LGBTQ+ youth.
    I've found things such as the Trevor Project and the It Gets Better project, but I want to do something different.
    I guess what I want to know is what do you wish people had done/knew or resources you wish were available to you when you were a teen identifying as LGBTQ+?

    Thanks!
     
  2. TrevinMichael

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    I wish there was someone to go to when I was getting beat up for being different.
    I place or person to help me deal with life.

    When I was growing up being gay or bi was not acceptable.
     
  3. clockworkfox

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    I wish people knew that transguys were a thing. When I was in high school and plagued by the most confusing self image issues ever ("I HATE having boobs, get them off getthemoff!!"), I didn't even know people like me existed. And nobody cared to enlighten me, either. :frowning2:

    I just wish people would have told me that gender is variable, and it was ok to feel the way I did. Instead, well...trans rights were negligible at best, and nobody talked about that ever. And that was only a decade ago.
     
    #3 clockworkfox, Mar 1, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2017
  4. Ljjgreat2017

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    I wish there had been more awareness and visibility about LGBT+ issues as early as 2005.
     
  5. Tre

    Tre
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    I wish people didn't stereotype me based on my appearance. I don't think I'm super girly. I think I'm about as feminine as the average girl. I'm still too girly to be straight up gay. At first people thought it was just a phase. Now that I'm older people think I'm bisexual instead. I also noticed people expected me to have strong sexual feelings at fourteen years old. Since I didn't, people automatically thought I was straight. Not every straight person is expected to have strong sexual feelings at a young age. I think gay people should be allowed to feel the same way.
     
  6. Justinian20

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    I honestly think that I wish people had not reacted so badly when I did the hug with the guy, when I pretty much wrote a love letter to a guy who I was so madly crushing on and I would say I was almost in love with him(yes I went through the Loves a straight guy period in high school).

    They just made me feel so bad and different, I remember how I wanted him to feel how painful it was for the guy you love to completely and utterly reject you. I wanted him to feel like his heart was torn out and stomped on because that's how I felt. I felt like I had to rebuild myself and I did but this time (less female friends, more male friends), I bet had I been treated a lot better and perhaps they helped me I would've probably come out at 15. Instead I had to go through all these judgemental people and the only place I felt safe was when I was acting in drama class, because there I was flamboyant and funny and I was able to be myself just a little more.

    I am actually so happy I left school at Grade 12, I even admitted I wouldn't miss anybody, because after school I could finally explore myself.

    I never identified as LGBTQ as a teen but I could see another path where I did come out earlier and that path was filled with less judgmental people.
     
  7. Amdukias

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    Same here... like by now my mom tells me I'm not really a (trans*)guy cause I didn't came out as a toddler. How shall I be able to do that when I never cared about my gender till I finally got boobs and stuff and it was just fucking horrifying?
     
  8. Embi

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    I wish people hadn't only given me the traditional family model as an option. Marry a guy, have kids, live in a nice house (at least have a job was already part of it when I was young). I didn't even consider being anything other than straight until I started questioning in high school. And even then, I believed the only options were being gay or straight and I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. Besides, sexuality was rarely spoken about and if so, it was mostly in a stereotypical way. I wish we would have gotten more sex ed in general, including non-traditional forms of sex, what rape really is and why it's wrong, etc.

    I also wish people wouldn't have constantly talked about stuff women have to do or men shouldn't do or this product is for men and this is for women because it's pink. It's so damaging, people should stop gendering products and colours like that.
     
    #8 Embi, Mar 5, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 5, 2017
  9. SAYGEUR

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    I know that this is supposed to be for older people, but id imagine that having imput from a teen at the moment would be useful.

    I wish I wasn't put directly into the group of "preachy third wave feminist" when I said I liked girls and boys... or the group of girls who went on tumblr and categorized themselves as genders, and then were super duper preachy about how they should be perceived, (i mean this is the extent where one of them had specific gender just because they like the colour green...) and how they actively declined that I am trans even though i have gone to a psychologist and discussed this a lot...

    That brings me onto next thing, i wish i could actualy fully come out as trans and begin to transition rather than be stuck in this limbo of not doing anything and feeling like shit, or comming out and being judged to hell because of it, i have to wait until im far away from school to do it.

    I also wish that there more support groups for people, or more times where you can discuss some of the questions have about gender and orientation, I felt like an absolute freak for so many years, and i didn't know who i could talk to about it, i wish there was something that was clearly there for everyone in the community to be able to talk about these sort of things with (i love EC, but sometimes i believe you need to be able to talk with someone that is physically there about things, and know that there are actually people around you who feel similar feelings to you as well)
     
  10. Kira

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    I wish I wouldn't have forced myself to "fit in" so long just to keep my family content, it did nothing in the end and I wasted years of my life. I gave up and just about a year and a half ago. At least I'm only 20 I guess, some people force themselves to replicate typical behavior and mannerisms for far longer.

    I've decided not to constrain my mind any longer, free thought can be so enlightening. I notice it's made me far less self-hating but it has also sort of shifted that emotion elsewhere, giving me a sense of hatred to the ignorant who hold back our world. I have to remember that I once thought the same way, sure I was ten or eleven, but I must remember they didn't ask to be indoctrinated. It's difficult to escape, like the webbing of an arachnid. I shouldn't hate people for being uneducated. I suppose that comes with time too.

    Then again, I was given a fair enough reason to behave that way when I was in the younger grades and the students thought "different" meant "free living piƱata". Unless it's a safety concern like that or worse though, be yourself. You'll likely regret it later in life otherwise.

    Essentially... I wish people didn't see violence as a primary option to deal with things they don't understand.
     
    #10 Kira, Mar 5, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2017
  11. zappa

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    I wish somebody had been there to tell me it was okay to be gay. That was a huge reason why I hid it so long. Nobody was there to tell me that. I had to learn that on my own. I think giving up religion helped a lot.
     
  12. shymeeee

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    I came out in the late 70's in my teens. I wish everybody would have thought of how difficult it was FOR ME to come out in a family so entrenched in religion, "queer" prejudice and first-son expectations. I wish...they realized how brave I was and how much I needed support. Instead of support they treated me horribly for the next 30+ years. Did it ever cause me to hate myself? No. Never. In my mind it was their self-centered outlooks that was eating me up. Glad I made it this far.
     
  13. Renegades

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    I wish people would not treat me like a different person after learning I'm queer. Many people don't, but I've had some awkward situations, along with rude questions and assumptions. I'm a human being like everyone else, not some freaking alien. Also, THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO GENDERS. Ignorance is extremely frustrating, especially when it comes to the difference between body parts compared to how one feels on the inside. Sex is related to the parts you have, and gender is completely mental. Just because I am female in body, does not mean I am a girl, which I am not.
     
  14. AuroraBorealis

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    I wish that there were more people that would have taken me seriously and considered my feelings before brushing it off as a phase.

    I also, did not appreciate being forced back into the closet after I had my first break up, because it was originally "so shocking" that I was gay because in my mother's words "Didn't buzz off my hair."