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What Do You Think of Polyamory?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by iiimee, Aug 27, 2016.

  1. Amdukias

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    I've always prefered polyamorous relationships. Not 'for me' but I know I'm a pretty difficult partner and it's lot easier to deal with me when you've got at least one other person. So you'll may say I feel some kind of quilt because I'm unable to give my partner what they might need, but honestly I'd just be happier this way. Also it would be easier for me to may have platonic relationships on a "higher level".
     
  2. MaoKingofcats

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    I love it. I don't mind having multiple romances at a time but I also respect others that aren't. Of course if I do end up dating two or more people and one of them aren't comfortable with being in triad or similar I wouldn't force them to do something like that.
     
  3. clexanet

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    I respect the fact that there are people who want to be in polyamorous relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all! I understand it as well, on a rational level. But I just know all hell would break loose if I personally was in anything but a monogamous relationship, because I cannot stand the idea of sharing the person I love with someone else. I'd never be able to do that. I can't even stand the idea of threesomes, which do not include feelings, so there's that. xD
     
  4. Spot

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    I'm cool with polyamory and polygamy :slight_smile:
     
  5. Assassin'sKat

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    It is definitely NOT for everyone. Don't get the wrong impression, you guys. Don't think just anyone can handle this. I do believe that there are people who can handle this, and for those people, it's fine. But with the VAST MAJORITY, it's not really okay, they would be much happier having just one partner. Seriously. People who have too many partners are not as happy, and don't have as close or as deep of relationships. Having that relationship with just one person makes it deeper and more powerful, for most people.
    For some people, it's fine, go live your way if it really does work best for you. But the media shouldn't be portraying it as a cool way to live, or like anyone could pull it off. Most the time, it's not like that, but sometimes it is.
    Also, some people even talk like they "came out" as polyamory, as if it wasn't a choice or something. I'm sorry(not sorry), but it is a choice. You can be with one person, or multiple people. It's not the same as being gay....
    So yeah, I'm fine if someone is polyamorous. I won't date you, but I'll be your friend. Just know that it's not for everyone.
     
  6. dreamcatcher

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    I find dating multiple people exhausting. I can't imagine getting into a polyamorous relationship. I would find it too time consuming and overwhelming. Plus, once I have feelings for one person, I don't care about meeting or dating anyone else. I just like to focus on one person so I think I'm monogamous by nature.
     
  7. blueshadedsoul

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    It's most definitely not for me, I'm completely monogamous honestly not by choice, it's just how I feel once I'm commited to someone. I couldn't possibly conceive feeling the same way about anyone else. But to each their own, if polyamory is what emotionally fulfills you then go for it, there's nothing wrong with that at all. Everyone should just mind their own business and do what works for them.
     
  8. Rook

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    As long as all adults are cool with it I see no issue. It's probably more difficult to manage than monogamous relationships, and like those is only for people mature enough to handle it. Personally, I have no desire to be in polygamous relationships.
     
    #68 Rook, Mar 17, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2017
  9. WMM

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    Monogamy with the occasional playing around with friends on the side was my thing. Then my wife pulled this bisexual thing on me. Then she said she wants to fall in love with a girl, too.

    I said what if I'm standing in one place and the two women walk off in two directions. I know I will go after Mary, my wife, for sure. The other woman can just keep right on walking. Mary just pats my hand and says not to worry, she will make sure to chase the other girl, so I don't ever have to make any decisions.

    Crazy world.

    So now, here I am, my wife says I believe in polyamory, and I don't get a say in what I believe in.
     
  10. Kodo

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    If it works for others, good for them, but I mate for life.
     
  11. clockworkfox

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    I like polyamory in theory, but I'm too clingy and insecure to give it a shot.

    Really, honesty is my policy. If I went into a relationship, knowing it was open or poly, then I might be willing to see how it goes. If I was in a monogamous relationship, and we decided to open it up or find an additional partner, well, I'd probably get jealous.
     
  12. MulticoloredSox

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    If everyone has come to an agreement, consented to the idea of having an open relationship and clearly let their boundaries be known than I don't see a problem with it. Unlike polygamy in which only the man may have multiple partners. I mean it's totally fine if only one person in the relationship has multiple partners but ONLY if everyone involved is ok with it.
    IMO a polyamorous relationship needs the same basic 'requirements' as a monogamous relationship; communication, consent and trust. If all those things are present I don't see any problem with a relationship, regardless of whether or not it's monogamous.

    Then again, I'm not an expert in relationships :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  13. Kimberley

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    As long as we knew from the beginning that we were looking for a poly relationship and weren't to begin with in a monogamous relationship then I'm completely for it, being a difficult person it's easier that one person does not have to cope with my vast array of emotions. If however we started off as a monogamous relationship I don't think I could then change to having a poly relationship to incorporate other individuals as I would struggle to adjust to no longer having that one person just be mine and me theirs in the relationship.
     
  14. Eyerene

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    I know that I personally could not handle being in a poly relationship. I'm much too jealous.

    But as long as all the people in a poly relationship are aware of each other and are happy with the arrangements, I don't see why they there shouldn't be poly relationships.

    I feel like you have to have a lot of trust in your partners and self confidence in order to have a poly relationship. Hats off to all who can manage.
     
  15. Embi

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    I couldn't handle it. I get jealous very easily, even though I can hide it quite well. I'm usually not much of a traditional person, but in this case, I am. I want a relationship with one person that hopefully lasts our whole life, no secondary partners, no sex outside of the relationship, no cheating - just the two of us. And cats :lol:

    But I do think that with the right personality, you can make polyamory work and it does have its perks.
     
  16. AlexanderDragon

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    As long as everyone's communicating openly there's no problem. I personally am not in a polyamorous relationship right now, but it is a possibility in our situation and I wouldn't be opposed to it. imo, if someone's not getting their needs met, but it's not worth breaking up over, and everyone's okay with it, why not go elsewhere?
     
  17. A lot of people who freak out about monogamy being right have the limited love point of view, but what's actually limited is time and energy. Sometimes "poly" makes people think like you kind of do what you want when you want, which I think scares a lot of people.

    I also think there's sometimes a misconception that poly or non-mono people don't get jealous, which isn't true. I'm non-monogamous and I get very jealous and very possessive.

    For some people monogamy is just "right" and for others it isn't. Some people can handle both, and some can't... I think it's kind of like another part of our orientation, or something connected. Like how you can be homosexual or heterosexual, or something in-between.
     
  18. DrummerGirl2000

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    Id be totally cool with it sexually, but I want to be the only one in the love/ emotional intimacy department. I would prefer a polyamorous relationship really, its how I picture my future. I still want to get married and whatnot one day, but I believe in sexual freedom. And if I was confident in my relationship with my partner, I'd probably even be comfortable and interested in the love/emotional part of polyamory; just not emotionally secure enough for that part yet. :slight_smile:
     
  19. Non binary kid

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    I wouldn't want to be in one but I am perfectly fine with. So, if I was in a relationship with someone who was polyamorous I would want some rules about what crossing the line would be, but I am ok with seeing polys most of the time. With kids it can get a little... ehh... but otherwise it's ok with me.
     
  20. WeDreamOfPeace

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    Personally prefer the idea of monogamy, but actually find the idea of a polyamorous relationship at least... effective if regulated effectively.

    Let's face it... two persons sex drives are going to be different, and chances are will have different sexual appetites... if that can be fulfilled without judgement, jealousy or disloyalty, then it's cool.