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What distractions work for you?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Frankie46, Sep 16, 2020.

  1. Frankie46

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    It’s 9.30pm. I’ve exercised, worked, walked, eaten, walked again and I still can’t settle down to concentrate on anything to watch on tv or read. I’m not relishing early nights with the kids throughout winter and just want to stop my racing brain.
    This shit closet life is killing me off at the moment. How do people ‘switch off’ when your mind is racing?
     
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  2. chicodeoro

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    You've just listed all the distractions I usually try!

    Not sure what to suggest. I know how you feel. Initially after I had my revelation about my gender earlier this year it was all I could think about, all the implications. It felt exciting but utterly terrifying. Still does, in many ways.

    Beth
     
  3. Really

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    I don’t know if you play a musical instrument but I always found that practicing mine is great for taking all my brain power. You need to be reading the music, paying attention to what each hand is doing, counting... All consuming. In a good way. If you don’t already play something where you can choose some new pieces to learn, maybe there’s a cheap ukulele or guitar available on a local site near you that you could pick up and learn. Or some craft? I think anything new would require most of your concentration as you learn it. :}
     
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  4. Nickw

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    Hey @Frankie46

    I don't have any easy solutions. I've been having the same sort of discontent. I used to get into really hard exercise. So much that I would be too exhausted to worry about anything. But, as I've aged, my body just doesn't handle that as well.

    Have you tried meditation? It's on my to do list...damn that list. I have a couple of friends that swear it works.
     
  5. sunflower8

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    I have not been able to relax either. The future is killing me. I'm constantly thinking about it and crave it. I find myself scrolling social media, listening to podcasts, or getting on here in my free time. I really do need to give my mind a break.
     
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  6. Bastion

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    Working out, walking, used to calm me down when am anxious, stressed, thinking too much. Now it’s not working that much. Learning a new craft or an instrument perhaps could be a good idea.

    It’s been a while now that I can’t really sleep well too.

    I have heard that meditation and deep breathing is very good. I did watch interesting videos on you tube today. By “Eckhart Tolle” he is a very well known spiritual teacher and best selling author. check him out. His videos might be helpful.
     
  7. QuietPeace

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    Meditation, it is not a "magic bullet" and you may have to work at it for months before really feeling the progress but it does help. Not just for the period of time that you are meditating but it helps calm me all the time. I still get upset at things and even have meltdowns but after working on meditation for almost two years things are better.

    I recommend
    Mindfulness for Beginners - Jon Kabat-Zinn
    Wherever You Go, There You Are - Jon Kabat-Zinn
    Stillness Speaks - Eckhart Tolle
    The entire Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series
    The Velveteen Principles - Toni Raiten-D'Antonio
    The Art of Happiness or The Book of Joy - The Dalai Lama

    Also, Jigsaw puzzles, I have 10 that I rotate through. When I am concentrating on them the time can fly by. I also did these as a child, you could make it a family thing.

    Family game night is also a good idea.
     
    #7 QuietPeace, Sep 16, 2020
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2020
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  8. Tightrope

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    Reading rarely works for me anymore. Especially novels. Not anymore.

    Long drives. Yes. As long as there are music. Being with my thoughts too long isn't the best.

    Walks to enjoy scenery usually work.

    Exercise can work sometimes.
     
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  9. LostInDaydreams

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    When I was still living with my ex, I found going to see animals helped to distract my mind from everything else that was going on. There was a farm with goat feeding, etc. not too far away and (for me) that worked as a good distraction.

    I quite like those really detailed colouring books too. You need to focus to do a good job so they take your mind off other things.
     
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  10. Fuzzy

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    Working to clear your mind, rather than cover the noise, might be another strategy to try.
     
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  11. Fuzzy

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    This reminds me, I raised ducks this last spring... Now I have lots of thoughts around what I want to do with my ducks... I got pet ducks and then I bought more ducks for meat production. I enjoy taking care of the ducks and making plans surrounding the ducks... In the spring and summer I plan to hatch out baby ducks. I need to plan for and create a safe enclosure for the babies to be raised outside by their mothers...

    So, I use animals as a distraction as well. I also want to plant a garden this upcoming spring. So, I think about that sometimes.
     
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  12. Frankie46

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    Morning all. It’s now 7am and time to start again. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, it means a lot.
    I’m going out for a walk now (poor dog) and I’m going to try and come up with a plan for this evening.
    It is a massive help knowing that I’m not the only one with a overactive, racing mind that won’t switch off.
    Frankie x
     
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  13. Peterpangirl

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    I have been in this place. It has eased. But it has taken time - I have felt gay, I have fought gay, I have loved gay, I have been rejected by others for being gay, whilst also being accepted by still others. And I finally just accepted that I am gay and stopped ...but it went at its own pace...I takes time to discard and assume a new identity and just BE it...at least in my experience...
     
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  14. Frankie46

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    Thank you. That really does help a lot.

    Frankie x
     
  15. Tartanskrt

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    I'm a generally fidgety person and need to keep my hands busy to be honest. I'm a crafty girl and a seamstress so my distraction comes from taking the ideas I have in my head and making them into actual things. I may be stuck in a closet but at least I'm creating a cracking wardrobe while I'm there.
    Your other option is to stop distracting and start embracing. Do you watch and read much lgbt content? I find it helpful in terms of reassuring me that I'm not alone. I really enjoyed Gentleman Jack that was on the bbc last year and there is a lovely community of slightly older queer people around the programme and I've found that kind of reassuring too.
    If course none of this is fool proof. Sometimes I just need to embrace how I'm feeling and have a good cry. This stuff is hard so it's ok to find it exhausting.
     
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