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What century?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Firepit5, Apr 20, 2017.

  1. Firepit5

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    Reading down in the family/support thread and realizing that there are SO many people that are still made to feel shameful, like shit, and not accepted by their parents. I am SO sorry on behalf of all parents. I have 3 kids. My schmoopies. My beloveds. When my eldest came to me as a bisexual at 11 and she was so vulnerable and said "Do you still love me?" It was a no-brainer. Are you KIDDING me? She's my beloved schmoopie. I would sacrifice my life for her. THAT'S what a parent is supposed to do. That doesn't get extra credit. That shit bothers me. No, you don't get extra credit because you acted 'as a parent is supposed to act'. Period. Parents love their children more than themselves. That is instinctual and derived from our animal basis. Anytime anyone tells you less, they are full of shit.
     
  2. YermanTom

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    This statement of the obvious needed to be said. :thumbsup:
    It should be on the form a parent signs at the maternity hospital. And not just applying to gay kids but to all kids.

    :eusa_clap:eusa_clap
     
  3. Kira

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    A lot of people apparently don't think it all through when they have kids, it's largely random who the child will be, and yet so many get upset because they can't essentially have a clone of themselves. If they wanted a specific person, adoption seems like the better route... but I'd say such people don't seem fit for parenting regardless.

    I wish more people would take a similar stance, you seem to be very reasonable and one of the few truly fit for the job.
     
  4. Firepit5

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    Its the truth and you know it. Now you feel like a dancing (!)? : )

    ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2017 at 12:55 AM ----------


    Agreed.

    ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2017 at 12:59 AM ----------

    Having said that, I don't want to alienate anyone whose parents have been less than understanding. I also understand their point of view. But understanding a point of view doesn't mean that your point of view is any less valid.
     
  5. HerRainbow

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    I totally agree that it is random who children will grow up to be. But some parents (including my own) seem to think that children should be carbon copies of them.

    I can understand that parents, just like anyone else need time to process what may be big news. However, they should also consider that coming out is a very emotional process where most people feel vulnerable. So they should be more sensitive and supportive.
     
  6. Assassin'sKat

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    You remind me of a friend of my family.

    She is like her kids' best friend. It is very clear that they all love each other very much.

    Personally, I will never understand how a parent could disown their child for something like this. I never understood.
     
  7. Quantumreality

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    Hey Firepit,

    You are an individual, just like the rest of us. You can't and shouldn't feel ashamed of what others have done or how others have acted. You have taken responsibility for yourself and interacted with us here on EC, showing how seriously and deeply you want to support your own LGBTQ child. The only thing that you can do beyond that is to encourage other parents of LGBTQ children to be as understanding and unconditionally loving as you have been.

    Sometimes parents just don't 'get it' that unconditional love for their offspring includes things that they may not 'care for' or even like about them. Whether that is their choice of jobs/careers, their choice of romantic/sexual partners, or simply their gender identity or sexual orientation. THAT is the message that you can convey to others.

    Understand and try to educate others. That's the best way to go. You have nothing to apologize for.

    In the meantime, just be happy that you are one of the most understanding parents on the planet and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of nor any debt incurred by others to repay...

    My 2cents.:slight_smile:
     
    #7 Quantumreality, Apr 20, 2017
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2017
  8. Worker Bee

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    Firepit5 you are amazing. You are a great role model for your kids.

    You have no reason to apologise for people who can't put their children before themselves or any prejudices they have.
     
  9. Firepit5

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    Thank you, really. But my point was and remains, this point of view should not be amazing. It should be status quo. I really wish we could stop giving extra credit to parents who actually do what parents are supposed to do. That is not worthy of praise (even though I am not unappreciative, so thank you).

    I don't know how many of you here have children, but those who do have to know how I feel and what I am trying so unsuccessfully to express. Its biology! And for the record, I am not a great parent IRL. I grew up with an abusive father who hated all of us. I find myself talking in his voice and scaring the shit out of my kids whenever I lose my temper. I hate that part of myself. But between me and my husband, he's good cop and I am bad cop.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2017 at 01:47 AM ----------

    Oh trust me. I am not my kids' best friend. I am the bad cop/enforcer. I am the one that tells them to say please/thank you/give up your seat for the elderly person/pregnant woman, etc. I am a nag.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2017 at 02:12 AM ----------

    I like this and you the more I read it.
     
  10. Firepit5

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    This was a very thoughtful response and I thank you for it.
     
  11. Mahidevran

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    I wish my parents were like you. my existence would be much happier then.