What are you thinking?

When did it get to the point where getting a stomach ache every day became the norm and the very rare day I’m pain free is a nice surprise.

 

I've decided that I'm going to finally pursue therapy. I know the waitlists are long but I need to persist with this. I need to at the very least work on my mental health in some capacity.

 

That's wonderful to hear and a big step. Good job. I hope the wait isn't too long. I know the wait times suck. I've had to wait up to 2 to 3 months and even longer for to be able to see some specialists.

 

^
I'd like these posts if I could. TY for the support.

 

Good therapy can be life changing

 

Why does the daylight savings thing exist? Thanks to the insomnia I was up again until 03:00 am and when I went to look at the clock again on my phone it was suddenly 4 am. I forgot about the clock turning an hour ahead.

 

So we have wonderful long summer evenings, Ran. It's one of the best things about being a European!

I love today - the first day after the clocks go forward. The extra hour of daylight seems like a gift for the first few days.

Beth x

 

It could always stay in this summer time. I'd be happy with that. I'm happy about warmer weather now. The dark winter was hard. I just wanted to hybernate the whole time. I have plans for the summer to be at the beach and take a book with me and spend my free time like that. I also plan doing some traveling not far from home, but it will be a nice change and chance to relax at least for the 2 days I can be away from home. I don't want to celebrate my birthday in the summer, so I will make it into a self care day.

 

Sally face

 

Coming from a place where everyone gets aggressive, I can understand how frustrating it is. I also really don’t like when people get fixed on their phones and forget they’re operating a vehicle, or don’t bother signaling. The blinker is there to let everyone know which way you’re going and plan accordingly - just take a second to be considerate!

 

I need a break from my home. I don’t work because I have a disability, personally I’d prefer a job and no disability. I spend every day doing the same things I can’t plan anything because everything counts on how I feel at the time. The only thing I’m looking forward to is the switch 2 coming out. Hopefully the new Pokémon game not long after.

 

We got snow today. I was only able to showel myself a walkway from the door to the gate. I became too tired. This is where my limit with doing a little bit of work is. At least with grocery delivery my sis helps to bring them inside. I had to delegate chores yesterday. Made my sis help out with laundry. Luckily she helped withouth resistance. It's like having children, when you don't.

 

Snow?! Wow. It's been nothing but sun here.

 

Yeah, but luckily it melted fast though.

 

It can all definetly be magical. Sometimes there is so much snow that it's like winter wonderland with snow sparkling and falling down. And Ice flowers can form on the window, because of condenzation. It's like natures art.

I like soft winters the most. If the snow is heavy from having lot of water in, then it's difficult to shovel it. And you have to shovel if you want to get out of the house.

Also winters get cold and most of us poorer folk do not have electric heating. We do use oil radiators too, but it's not for heating up the whole house, so for that we need to buy wood, what is expensive. It can go up to 400 - 500 euros. We use it in wood burning stoves and fireplaces to heat up the house. So we need to prepare for winter with that. In winter we need to bring in the wood, so it would last a little bit until we need to bring more of it in and that's lot of work too.

If there is ice then the roads can be like glass. Then I often do not go out of the house, because I fear falling. It's especially difficult when having to cross the road and it's slippery and since there are cars too it's dangerous. Even though cars have to have winter tires. I once was walking home and there was a road next to me with cars driving and right beside me one car hit the other. It like slid forward on ice.

It's also mandatory to wear reflectors so cars would see you in the dark. It's possible to get a fine if you don't. Most time the police though just gives you one and you get off with a warning. We have reflectors tied up to the trees too, where you can take them, if you have none, but they're also very cheap, sometimes with cute shapes. You put it on your clothes with a safety pin and string, but I loose it so often, because if you for example ride on bus then the string with it can get stuck somewhere between the seat an fall off very easilly, so I like the ones you can sew on your clothes or stick to them more.

Most difficult though is the dark and depressive winters and why we need to take vitamin D. People who work or go to school leave in the morning and it's dark and come home from work and it's still dark. It gets dark as early as 4pm. During this winter it was the hardest winter for me. I only wanted to hybernate like a bear for the whole time. And my vitamin D levels are possibly nonexistent, because I forget to take it. My doctor was suprised how low they were before. It probs contributes to my tiredness.

So that's why we are happy if we see the sun after a while and it sucks if we see that the snow has come down even though it's supposed to be warm. But springs are often two faced. So it's all normal here. We even have a song called snow in July. It has happened before. In the year 1842. And July is usually our warmest month.

 

I got New Orleans, Louisiana (and my first boyfriend) on my mind! lol